I am in a rough place with my relationship, and I am not sure what to do at this point. Looking for some input on the situation. I will do my best to explain.
I have been living with my BF for the last 1.5 years. We are both 45 yrs old with successful careers. Our children are on their own so it is just me and him.
I would like to start from the beginning of my situation to give a little better insight as to why I am so confused.
I met this man back in 2007, he was one of my customers. I am a outside sales rep. He was in the process of finalizing a divorce after 13 years and I was also at the end of mine after 7 years. We started to do things together, but I always kept it friends only. I was not ready for a relationship. I felt it was better to put some time between divorces and dating each other as I did not want to be a rebound. So for years we did things off and on, he would always ask me to go on weekend adventures but I would not go or do any over night activities. I never wanted to lead him on that there was more than I was ready for. It took me a few years before I was ready to date again.
Over the years he was very persistant in his chase for me. He was always there for me as a friend and would bring me flowers and gifts, calling and texting "Why aren't you by my side" putting me on the phone with all his friends when he was out. People would tell me, " That man really has strong feelings for you, Give the guy a chance". You see, at first I could see myself with him, but through the years of the chase and his tried and true friendship I started to realize I began having feelings for him, we would spend hours on the phone just talking about nothing. This is really an amazing man, who is someone who will always be there for you and love you unconditionally. So in 2011 we starting spending more and more time together and became a couple.
For the last year and a half we have lived together, I moved in with him. Up until around April everything was amazing, we got along so well and we were happy,happy. There was one grey area for me and that was sex, he has little or no interest in sex but is very affectionate. He has said that sex is not important to him. This was from the begining for us. For me it did pose a problem but because everything else was so amazing I was able to overcome this because I was happy in every other aspect of our relationship and my life with him.
All the sudden in April 2013 he started becoming very edgy in attitude, short with me making snippy comments, and rejecting me in the bedroom , as if that were not already a problem. He was to leave out of town for 4 days and I tried to talk to him and ask what was going on. He said he was stressed out but it was nothing I did and not to worry. I still felt un easy when he left like he was not being honest with me about his cold behaviors towards me. So he went out of town, not a call or text the whole time. I was at my daughters and he text me when he was home from out of town, I told him I was not happy he never called the whole time he was gone, he snapped on me and said we talk everyday and he is gone for 3-4 days now he is cheating. So I decided it was best to just stay at my daughters that night as he was obviously crabby and I did not want to fight with him. The next day, We had our first real fight. I was the bad guy for not coming home. I found myself apologizing to him and taking the blame for our recent problems. He never said he was sorry or showed a bit of remorse, just blamed me for everything. He told his daughter he was about done putting up with me in a text a couple days later. Keep in mind we had not had ANY issues prior to this. Since then it has just been awefull. Not that we are fighting but just a tremendous amount of distance. I have tried to be just upbeat and positive and stroke his ego to just get us back on track and he is somewhat receptive.
So last Sunday is what brings me here, We were out having a good day and the last couple weeks we had been doing really good and connecting again. So we were in a public place and had a couple beers and a burger with some friends (his) and we were talking about a sensitive subject. I was asked by him my opinion, I declined, he said no, go ahead just say it so I did, all the sudden he exploded and started breaking shit, punching walls and screaming. I ran as fast as I could. I did not go home with him to say the least. I have not been home or talked to him since. He has not even tried to contact me. He did text me saying Shame on you and told me I was playing a dangerous game. OUCH!! WOW!!! SHOCKER!!
I am just beside myself, I don't get it!!! I am so lost and confused. How does one go from being madly in love chasing someone for years telling everyone just a few months ago he was going to marry me, I was his dream girl and the best thing that has ever happened to him to this?
I know some will say run he is crazy, I can assure you he is not he is a well known person with strong friendships and a good reputation, some of the people who know us are just as in shock as me and they have known him for 30+ years. This has left many speechless. Especially me.
Thank You for reading my story and any advice or input.