Help me please Husband wants divorce what should I do?

[helpmeplease123]

You're both a bit twisted, really. I mean, most women would have told him to get lost the moment he brought another woman into your home, which is as undignified as it gets. Yet you're all like "Oh I will let him have as many women, even in our own bed, so long as he doesn't leave me!'. Seriously, that's some scary thinking.

Was there a shortage of men in Australia when you met your husband? Clearly, our country went through some sort of androgen deficiency at the time...can't imagine what about him was so appealing to you. Was it his virgin fetish or the fact that he treats you like what I imagine Muslim extremists treat their wives.

Your only way to save this marriage is to regrow your hymen. Consult a surgeon, it's possible.

a lot happened that night, its not necessary for everyone here to know. I begged her to leave, I asked him not to do this. everything I said fell on deaf ears, their was nothing else that I could do to stop him. It was quite apparent that he was determined to sleep with her.

[stev123]

a lot happened that night. I begged her to leave, I asked him not to do this. everything I said fell on deaf ears, their was nothing else that I could to stop him. It was quite apparent that he was determined to sleep with her.

That's disgusting...don't be a doormat, I'm sure you love him and your kids but that behaviour is unacceptable, go and tell his parents.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

a lot happened that night, its not necessary for everyone here to know. I begged her to leave, I asked him not to do this. everything I said fell on deaf ears, their was nothing else that I could do to stop him. It was quite apparent that he was determined to sleep with her.

Well you lied to him after doing a something shamefull, you are no longer his innocent wife. His treating you like the whore you are, you deserve to be treated like this.

Besides you slept with someone else. I'd assume this girl was his second after yours. So his now on the same level as you. And you are asking him to stop? for what? you didn't stop banging that other guy.

[Starnique]

I just reread your post OP.

I cant believe he even bought another ho in your home. I'm still stuck on that. He has no respect for you. What man does that and in your face with your baby there? First of all, she wouldn't have came to my house as she would have been under the impression, this bitch is crazy. She would be right. Also, they would have to pry me off him. Most importantly, any man of mine wouldn't do that. Obviously you cant control what people do but you can control what goes on in your house and view.

Btw, I say move on. Seriously, I learned that with some men if you stop caring about them and showing interest and go on with your life as if they don't exist, they take notice to that. I know its hard to ignore and go on as he is not there but I bet that the moment you stop sweating him, after while he will be all in your face sweating over you. He's going to wonder why you not showing interest and I would say I apologized and you can do whatever you want to do with it. Hopefully, you really will get over him and mean it because he's ridiculous.

[Starnique]

a lot happened that night, its not necessary for everyone here to know. I begged her to leave, I asked him not to do this. everything I said fell on deaf ears, their was nothing else that I could do to stop him. It was quite apparent that he was determined to sleep with her.

You begged her to leave? You're a doormat at this point. That bitch would have left my house. In fact, she wouldn't have come in. You're a good one because I would have laid her out.

[michelle23]

Girl you have serious issues. Im sorry but there is something wrong with you. No wonder he has no respect for you. Its sad and pathetic actually that you still want him after what he has done. Id rather be dead or homeless than stoop that low and beg a man like that for anything. If he was on fire, I wouldn't put him out. Let the prick burn. Go and get some therapy for yourself and learn to have some self respect, dignity and pride.

Look up co-dependency and stop being such a bloody doormat.

[michelle23]

Well you lied to him after doing a something shamefull, you are no longer his innocent wife. His treating you like the whore you are, you deserve to be treated like this.

Besides you slept with someone else. I'd assume this girl was his second after yours. So his now on the same level as you. And you are asking him to stop? for what? you didn't stop banging that other guy.

Shes not a ****ing whore. Dude you have issues!

[Eng.Jackadmans]

Shes not a ****ing whore. Dude you have issues!

Are you saying his a whore? for banging that girl?

They had same amount of sexual patners now.

[Am I crazy?]

You should not have lied in the beginning, but he is acting like a complete child and his actions are waaaay out of proportion for what you did. Follow his advice and get a lawyer. My guess his offense of bringing a woman home is a lot worse than yours and you should be able to get out fairly easy, he may lose his ass, rightfully so.

On another thought, It makes me wonder if he was really as happy as he seemed all along and was just looking for a perfect opportunity to leave? It seems he thinks he found on and bolted at the first opportunity.

[Am I crazy?]

one more thought, the woman he brought home was probably a paid hooker just to prove a point. No self respecting woman would come into another married womans home and have sex with her husband while she was home unless there was $$$ involved.

[michelle23]

Are you saying his a whore? for banging that girl?

No I am saying just because she was not a virgin before marriage-it doesnt make her a whore. My definition of a whore is someone who will have sex with anyone. Say hello to her and she will spread her legs. Buy her a drink, shell let you take her home, she may shag a whole football team coz she like the attention or she may sleep with all her bfs friends to hurt him when they break up etc etc.

A male whore is the same-someone who chases women as if they are dogs in heat, only looking for sex.

Not someone who had sex with someone she was in a loving relationship with ten years ago.

Hes a cheat and he can never take that back. He hurt her, humiliated her and made her feel so small trying to break her. I know you have a hard time understanding feelings and emotions and you are very logical but if he cared about her-he would never want to make her cry. That is probably the easiest way to explain it

[michelle23]

Are you saying his a whore? for banging that girl?

To answer this question-yes

[helpmeplease123]

On another thought, It makes me wonder if he was really as happy as he seemed all along and was just looking for a perfect opportunity to leave? It seems he thinks he found on and bolted at the first opportunity.

I thought this at first too, it would make me happier if it was true. If he had someone else, he could leave me and be happy with her. He is not the kind of person to do that, If he wanted to leave he would have done that, he wouldn't wait for a 'reason', its not like he has formally given me a reason. I'm just assuming that this is the reason that upset him. It just tears me up that his ruining something good over nothing, I'm willing let him sleep with as many women as he needs to over whatever he has in his system.

I don't think any new women he finds would give him, what I'm giving him.

Eng.Jackadmans, I couldn't help but notice your user name, are you a Engineer? So is my husband. What are you discipline?

[Am I crazy?]

I think the bottom line is you have a marriage in deep trouble. Don't allow him to sleep around, that's not going to help anything, especially if he knocks somebody up or brings home a disease. Your best bet is to sign off from the computer and seek the assistance of a lawyer or professional counselor, even if he does not want to participate. You have a serious problem that needs a serious response and amateur advice from a bunch of hobbyist advice givers may just end up clouding your judgment and making things worse.

[michelle23]

I willing let him sleep with as many women as he needs to over whatever he has in his system.

That is plain crazy. You made vows to each other-to love and respect and cherish each other-to be faithful to one another-to be a team and to work through problems together. You entered into an equal partnership and it is messed up that you are willing to let him get away with everything just so you can cling onto him. Next he will catch a disease like herpes and pass it onto you or get another woman pregnant. Your not thinking straight right now. Your probably in the bargaining stage of grief willing to do anything to keep him with you but even if he does agree to work things out and he manages to forgive the lie you told 8 years ago-the pain he has caused you know will NEVER go away. He has really f**ked up here and you need to get your head out of your ass and wake up. What he has done is unforgivable. Your marriage is over. Accept it and walk away. The damage has been done. You will not get over this. You are grieving right now, hurt, confused, an emotional wreck but in time you will snap out of it and all these issues will re-surface and you will be angry and you will not be able to let go of what he has done.

Start being realistic hun for your sake and your child s