Help me please Husband wants divorce what should I do?

[Eng.Jackadmans]

I don't think there's anything you can do. This guy sounds stubborn and unwilling to talk about anything. I don't see how you could take him back when he cheated on you. I would not be okay with him sleeping with someone else. Find someone better and make sure to be honest

Why is it so bad he slept with someone else? when she slept with someone else?

[basilandthyme]

his breaking up with me for no apparent reason. .

He DOES have a reason and it's very apparent: He doesn't want a woman who's had sex before him.

For what it's worth, I don't agree with his beliefs. But like it or not, he has right to his beliefs and you knew that when you married him.

[helpmeplease123]

He DOES have a reason and it's very apparent: He doesn't want a woman who's had sex before him.

For what it's worth, I don't agree with his beliefs. But like it or not, he has right to his beliefs and you knew that when you married him.

Is there anything that I can do to stay with him?

I am willing let him sleep with others, I don't even question who he slept with. I don't really care what he does with other women, its not important to me. If that's what he wants to do, I'm happy for him.

Should I tell him this? would this help change his mind?

[basilandthyme]

Is there anything that I can do to stay with him?

I am willing let him sleep with others, I don't even question who he slept with. I don't really care what he does with other women, its not important me. If that's what he wants to do, I'm happy for him.

Should I tell him this? would this help change his mind?

I doubt it. He could have all the women in the world and it still won't change the fact that you lied to him about something which was a deal breaker to him.

[helpmeplease123]

I doubt it. He could have all the women in the world and it still won't change the fact that you lied to him about something which was a deal breaker to him.

Is he expecting to divorce me, and meet a virgin, while he is not a virgin himself? Do you not think he is being immature and stubborn?

When someone is going through a divorce and their wife says can we sit down and talk about this?; is it normal for the husband to not know what she is talking about? Is it normal for him to say that he is not the appropriate person for me to talk about the divorce with? is it normal for him to tell me to 'consult my legal council' regarding any question about the divorce.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

Is he expecting to divorce me, and meet a virgin, while he is not a virgin himself? Do you not think he is being immature and stubborn?

When someone is going through a divorce and their wife says can we sit down and talk about this?; is it normal for the husband to not know what she is talking about? Is it normal for him to say that he is not the appropriate person for me to talk about the divorce with? is it normal for him to tell me to 'consult my legal council' regarding any question about the divorce.

Yes its normal.

You are the one being immature and irrational. You asked to sit down and talk about this. How is he suppose to read your mind?

You wanted to talk about the divorce, he is on the other end of the divorce, you need to talk to someone that represents your interests. would you talk to the enemy about your battle plans? you'll talk to your own advisers.

[helpmeplease123]

But his not the enemy, his my husband, I LOVE him.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

But his not the enemy, his my husband, I LOVE him.

Hate, love or anger, when the napalm starts dropping its going to burn.

[basilandthyme]

Is he expecting to divorce me, and meet a virgin, while he is not a virgin himself? Do you not think he is being immature and stubborn?

When someone is going through a divorce and their wife says can we sit down and talk about this?; is it normal for the husband to not know what she is talking about? Is it normal for him to say that he is not the appropriate person for me to talk about the divorce with? is it normal for him to tell me to 'consult my legal council' regarding any question about the divorce.

I think it's absolutely normal in cases where one party feels grievously wronged - as your husband does.

Yes, I think it's strange that he would want a virgin wife when he's not a virgin. But my cultural background is very likely not the same as his. But you have to remember I also wouldn't have pretended to be a virgin in order to catch him. I would have laughed at him instead.

You made the choice to lie about your history to catch a man who's values you disagree with. This is now the natural consequence of your actions.

[basilandthyme]

I am sorry, I'm very sorry. If I could change the past, I would.

I think you're sorry you got caught - not sorry that you lied.

Nowhere have I seen regret for lying to him and catching him under false pretences. Instead, I only see you justifying your lies as being the only way to have married him.

[stev123]

Oh god, look you won't you do anything, chances are that's what he wanted at the start and he made it clear - it's YOUR fault you lied to him and don't blame anyone and try to act like a innocent princess on these forums please.

However, it's his fault for throwing away 8 years with someone and if that's just gonna be him let it be, because he'll learn. Perhaps it means a significant value with his family and culture, perhaps not...but finding a virgin in this day and age? I think you'll have a better chance at finding diamonds in the ocean.

You lying to him about that could mean he has lost trust in you on a number of things, and for guys who think like that it is. But you lied to him so be prepared to take the fire, if he doesn't trust you anymore and he doesn't see the relationship as the same (even as ridiculous as it sounds) that's just gonna be it and you'll have to draw the line there. Because he will never see you as his 'innocent' Wife anymore, he'll just see you as any another broad.

I'm just being realistic here, but unless he's willing to get counseling (which looks like he isn't) then that's probably the end of the marriage.

Oh and by the way, the people most closest to you can be your worst enemies.

Good luck, you'll need it.

[Pinkblush15]

For me if he truly loves you he will forget about what he found out about you and besides
its been eight years ago. Instead of thinking on how to solve that relationship he brought a girl in your house. What kind of man is he?? He shouldn't do that to you because I believe that your a loving wife and also a mother. Past is past and if I were him I will make up to you, give a second chance and save your relationship.

[michelle23]

I wonder if he was having an affair someone else, and he just wanted a reason to break up with me. If this was true I could handle it, but his breaking up with me for no apparent reason. Its just a waste of something good.

I had sex with him, because I loved him at the time.

I don't know why he is acting this way.

you lied 8 years ago. Okay you shouldnt have done that but honestly he sounds like a narcissistic prick to me. He cheated on you in the home that you share together with your child (and yes it is cheating) to get revenge. He may feel what you did was very bad but im telling you girl what he has done is 100 times worse. is there something wrong with you that you allowed that bitch in your house? Seriously! Why didnt you drag her out by the hair and throw her out? I think you are a doormat. Your relationship is obviously not equal. Its one rule for him and another for you. Grow a backbone, stop kissing his ass. get angry, tell him he can have his f**king divorce and then he can f**k off out of you life and never come back.

It sounds to me like he was looking for an excuse to end the marriage and he found one. He may have also been having an affair. Stop trying to save it. Too much damage has been done now. I cant believe youd even consider forgiving him bringing some whore into your home or an affair.

Stop being nice to him. It is time to get angry and kick his ass. You are being naive, letting him walk all over you, hes enjoying hurting you and punishing you. If he really loved you-he may be angry but he would not purposefully set out to hurt you like this. I think you can do better

[Eng.Jackadmans]

you lied 8 years ago. Okay you shouldnt have done that but honestly he sounds like a narcissistic prick to me. He cheated on you in the home that you share together with your child (and yes it is cheating) to get revenge. He may feel what you did was very bad but im telling you girl what he has done is 100 times worse. is there something wrong with you that you allowed that bitch in your house? Seriously! Why didnt you drag her out by the hair and throw her out? I think you are a doormat. Your relationship is obviously not equal. Its one rule for him and another for you. Grow a backbone, stop kissing his ass. get angry, tell him he can have his f**king divorce and then he can f**k off out of you life and never come back.

It sounds to me like he was looking for an excuse to end the marriage and he found one. He may have also been having an affair. Stop trying to save it. Too much damage has been done now. I cant believe youd even consider forgiving him bringing some whore into your home or an affair.

Stop being nice to him. It is time to get angry and kick his ass. You are being naive, letting him walk all over you, hes enjoying hurting you and punishing you. If he really loved you-he may be angry but he would not purposefully set out to hurt you like this. I think you can do better

1. Do you think violence will solve your problems?

2. He probably owns the property, so she has no right to say whose allowed and whose not. she may have residency there, so she only has the right to live there until evicted.

3. That other girl did nothing to her, why should she assault her?

4. The husband did nothing to her either, she has no right assault him either.

The only time you have permission to make contact with another person is if they assault you first, and you are defending yourself.

5. Protip, He is the better guy. Its highly unlikely if she ever finds someone they would be as good as him.

[TablesandChairs]

Your husband is a creep...sure, you lied but you slept with someone before you met him. Most people wouldn't have cared but you've gone and found yourself a nut case. He, on the other hand, has brought someone into your marital home and slept with them with you right there. He's a nasty piece of work. Nonetheless, let him find his virgin...I'm sure she's waiting for him in a high school somewhere.

Try to save your relationship if you want but get a lawyer in the meantime.