What type of girl is this? Slutty behaviour?

[Sage]

Hello.

i need to bring this post because there is this kind of girl, that is a bit not my type, or, not what i am looking for.

I dont know her, she know who i am, from others around here, but i dont know her.
She just said hi to me at the shop once (first time saying hi to me), then i said hi back and smiled.
after that she added me on social medias, then few days later she wrote to me and, i just talk back, just like im talking to a friend.
I am a person that wants to be nice to everybody and try not to judge or split people into groups.

however, this girl is the kind that scares me a little.
I am just open and just share information about myself when she ask.
And after a few hours she wanted to send me a picture, and sendt me a picture of her panties....


i think shes somewhere between 16-18 years old, and she does this to everybody around here.
people have told me to stay away from her because she have sex with everyone and tell lies about stuff.
lies about what people around here are saying about each other.
You know, that kind of behaviour that makes people talking about stuff they hear, and it gets bad.


She already have a kid, and i heard she havent had a great time in life.
people say she have been raised in a Foster care but her real parents too. but i heard
her real parents was a little crazy, that this girl havent had an easy growup.

i feel really sorry for her, but when i hear this about her, im thinking that i shouldnt be talking to her.
but at the same time i want to be nice to her, but i dont want to get involved in something.
i also heard she have had sex with men that are over 20 years older than her.
My friends around here told me that she will try to get in my life, and she will ask to spend time with me and be with me,
just like a person so desperate for a partner that they cant wait to just ask it out.


Shes way too young for me.
i am 24yo, but i cant just tell her to **** off.
Because she havent done me anything wrong, and she dont deserve such threatment after i heard about her
problems in life.



Im the type that goes really really deep in the minds of people.
i really try to understand their psychology, trying to view the world from their eyes
and to understand how they think.
i also read people very well, and can tell if they are lying, or if something is wrong, on a instant.

but this girl. i just cant understand why shes like this.
I really trying to understand why she does this..
any of you in this forum know about this behaviour, and knows why?
and are these women even capable of setteling down in a serious long time relationship?

well, this behaviour are very abnormal to me, and i cant figure out what kind of thinking structure
she is having.

But i really feel sorry for her.
ive heard shes having a hard time and have mental problems, not mental, like violently crazy, but
mental problems like being deppresive, anxious, maybe schizophrenia or bipolar or something.


I am completly opposite of her, and sex is shared with a loved one, not everyone.
I am not in to what she is trying on.
I need to understand what shes up to, and tell her nicely that all i can offer is a friendship.

[vashti]

This girl sounds like she has some serious mental health issues, and will probably get some guy thrown in jail. Let's hope you are smart enough to avoid her, or it could be you.

[Sage]

Yes, i am thinking exactly the same thing. however, in this country, the sexual minimal age is 16.
But still, she could do something like saying she have been raped or something. who knows.
But she is having serious issues im afraid.
But she still act normally, and are nice.
but Its a trap.
im very sorry for her.
I dont know how to act, i dont want to be rude.

[searock]

It's better to risk being rude than to keep destructive people in your life. If the only way you can keep her well away from you is with a firm rejection, than that's what you need to do. Some people don't understand any other way.

[Ariel]

I think it's sweet that you don't want to judge, and instead want to understand. Yes, she probably does have childhood issues that are continuing to spill over. Actually, she still is a child. Her behaviour sounds like a cry for attention. It's probably the only way she feels loved or wanted. It's not healthy. I think it's only fair that you let her know she makes you uncomfortable. She sounds like she could be volatile and highly emotional so telling her to sling her hook may not have desirable results, could possibly make things worse for you. But you do need to be honest with her - tell her you are not interested in her romantically or sexually but that you can offer friendship - this may surprise her, and it's quite likely what she's looking for - somebody who is interested in her and not because of sex. Either way, don't suffer in silence just to keep the peace.

[Sage]

I think it's sweet that you don't want to judge, and instead want to understand. Yes, she probably does have childhood issues that are continuing to spill over. Actually, she still is a child. Her behaviour sounds like a cry for attention. It's probably the only way she feels loved or wanted. It's not healthy. I think it's only fair that you let her know she makes you uncomfortable. She sounds like she could be volatile and highly emotional so telling her to sling her hook may not have desirable results, could possibly make things worse for you. But you do need to be honest with her - tell her you are not interested in her romantically or sexually but that you can offer friendship - this may surprise her, and it's quite likely what she's looking for - somebody who is interested in her and not because of sex. Either way, don't suffer in silence just to keep the peace.

Nice answer. This is exactly what im thinking.
She need to be loved and liked. People have been bad to her.
What im afraid of is that if i am rude, or just tell her to go away, she might be hurt,
and if i hurt her, she might cause problems for me, by telling others lies about me or something.

and im not the type to do it anyway.


Id love to make friends, and she are looking great too.
But sending pictures of her body, is a hint for sex.
And im not looking for sex. Im looking for longlasting relationship and to start my own family.
This is not the girl im looking for, but i will be nice to her.

I just hope something creepy doesnt happen. because people like her, easily freaks me out

I feel so sorry for her, and i wish i could help her in a nonsexual way.

[searock]

I just hope something creepy doesnt happen. because people like her, easily freaks me out

What do you mean?

[Sage]

What do you mean?

I mean, she told me she knows where i live, i find that creepy. and it freaks me out that she tries to get into my life.
she have a creepy behaviour.

[searock]

Oh, I understand. Well it's difficult to try and help psychologically issued persons. I once tried to help a guy friend of mine who was suicidal and bipolar. I tried to be his friend, to listen to him and be there for him. The only result was that he developed an obsession over me and eventually became creepy - to the point that he would try to make me feel guilty for his own obsession over me, saying stuff like "you destroy me" and so forth.

The best thing you can do for this troubled girl is to give her a good therapist's number. Believe me... nothing good is going to come out of it if you just "try to be her friend": her problems are such that only a professional can help her.

[VerticalMoon]

Hi Sage. I like your user name. I've used the same one on another site.

To answer your question, I think she probably has one of the cluster B (dramatic) personality disorders, maybe histrionic personality disorder. Compulsive lying and an erratic need for attention from others tend to be part of these disorders. At any rate, it's obvious she has serious issues. If I were you, I'd be polite to her but try to keep my distance. With the way she behaves, getting close to her will most likely lead to trouble. It's kind of sad because her issues probably are related to the way she was raised, and she probably is unhappy a lot of the time. But if you try to hard to be understanding, she'll just try to use it to manipulate you. She really needs to work with a professional to fix her problems. Often even professionals have a hard time dealing with these types of people, since people like her often aren't interested in changing the way they relate to others. Somebody who's not even trained to deal with it is going to run into even more trouble.

If you're feeling bad about not being friendlier to her, keep in mind that you probably wouldn't even have had this much of a relationship if it weren't for her issues. She's not somebody you happened to meet and hit it off with. You're one of a long line of people she's sought out so she can be the center of attention. She's not looking for a friend. She's seeking out inappropriate attention wherever she can find it. You certainly don't owe her anything.

[W.E]

and are these women even capable of setteling down in a serious long time relationship?

Nope. Not without major changes, which still almost never truly resolve the damage that has already taken place.

I'm all for helping people, but girls like her are best avoided. She could easily decide that you are not giving her the attention that she wants and then lie to get you into deep trouble. Even ridiculously false accusations can ruin your life. I don't know the sex laws in your country, but where I live she is considered a minor and just the fact that you have a picture of her panties on your computer could be enough to give you serious legal problems.

[Sage]

okay thanks for the inputs.
i got some more information.
she didnt grow up like i said, she grew up with her parents, but people have been bullying her through her entire life.
People havent been nice to her, and her parents is slightly weird too.

i was acting grown up and wise, gave her a few tips and some wise words.
She dont contact me.

However, i might meet her at a party next weekend, but im not a drinker, so gonna stay pretty sober.
treating her just like any other person, and being nice.

[Sage]

Okay, she messaged me today, asked what i was doing.
I told her that i was going out for some running, and she asked if she could join.
i told her, that i was running with no one, so why not.

So i met her, and jogging. was talking. she looked pretty shy in the start, but she got on fire quickly.

she seemed extremely happy that she got the time to meet me,
and she told me about all these girls she knew that ''seceretly have been in love with me''

I have been locking myself inside for 4 years, only spending times with childhood friends.
i just recently started going out to meet new people.

She told me about how many people that knew about me, but i dont know about them, because ive had absolutely
no interest in getting to know people around in this naberhood until recently.

She was constantly talking about how she needed to improve herself, when i told her about things i dont like.
(she was asking many questions)
And i told her i wasnt a fan of people drinking too much.

She was constantly telling me that she was going to calm the drinking and smoke less tobacco, work out more etc.

I was paying attention very well and i spotted almost everything i KNOW she tried to hide.


She is very insecure, and she want me to like her.
She is even trying to hide stuff, because she know i dont like it.

I told her, im a easy going person, and that i am very friendly, and i made her aware that i am sexually inactive and that
i have alot of selfrespect and im not having sex with people i dont have buildt a strong relationship with.

She seemed constantly ashamed of her sexual activities, and she even told me out of the wild which person she hax sex with last time.
And she again said she was ashamed of what she was doing.

i was acting wise, and friendly. but didnt show any sign to her which should make her extra intrested in me.

So when she left, it took only a few minutes until she started chatting with me.
And she asked me out again already tomorrow.

She seem extremely attracted to me, and seem to try to adjust herself in any way possible so that i would accept her.
And im thinking that all the other girls feelings about me she was telling me about, could be herself, but she seemed shy to
talk about why she wanted to meet.



She was a nice girl, and i could see that she have her issues. I feel really sorry for her and i couldnt resist telling her to take good care and respect herself.

I think she might suffer a ''Histrionic Personality Disorder'' (HPD)


Im going to just act friendly and see if her obsession with me wears off.

I could clearly see (even though she was hiding it) that she had some intense affection to me.

What do you guys think?

[vashti]

I think you hanging out with her has encouraged her crush, and I think you did that on purpose.

[Wakeup]

Nope. Not without major changes, which still almost never truly resolve the damage that has already taken place.

I'm all for helping people, but girls like her are best avoided. She could easily decide that you are not giving her the attention that she wants and then lie to get you into deep trouble. Even ridiculously false accusations can ruin your life. I don't know the sex laws in your country, but where I live she is considered a minor and just the fact that you have a picture of her panties on your computer could be enough to give you serious legal problems.

The age of consent in Canada is 16 and no, having a picture of her panties on his computer will not get him into "serious legal problems unless he has a wife and she finds the picture... :o)

http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/other-autre/clp/faq.html