How do i make the move?

[JBELL]

Ok little weird this question is coming from a girl but..

I want to have more sex with my bf. Currently we only do it once a week.. if that and it's driving me insane. My problem is that I don't like to instigate it.

I try sitting on top of him and kissing him and his neck, it's winter and i'm wearing underwear to bed so he can feel my legs and skin but nothing!! I don't want to come on too strong. What should I do?

a guys point of you would be awesome! is there something I can do to turn him on so that he knows what I want? have you had a girlfriend that wanted more sex but you just enjoyed cuddling sometimes??

Help!! haha

[basilandthyme]

OK, I'm a girl.....but I can promise that if he's got a half decent sex drive, having his girlfriend initiate is the biggest turn on. You see, guys are like girls in that they don't want to be the only one asking for it. Guys want to feel desired too - but being the only one asking can leave someone feeling undesirable

I can tell you that "are you horny?" seems to work remarkably well.

[JBELL]

Yeah that's exactly how he feels cause we have talked about it but i'm just so shy. I can't ask are you horny? haha that's just not me. I wish I was more like that though. It's just early days in our relationship so he still makes me really nervous.

[basilandthyme]

Ok, I assume "do you feel like a root" is out of the question. So what about "I want you to make love to me". Or stroking his hair and saying "I want to do something really special to you tonight". Or tell him you've bought some sexy new underwear and want to show him

Oh, and DON'T wear underwear to bed. Sleep naked. Not only is it conducive to a better sex life, it keeps your genitals healthy. They do need to breathe

I've gotta say though, it seems odd that you're having sex with someone who you're not comfortable in approaching. Thing is, trust is 100% of how it works. Not only trust that he won't laugh at you - but trust that if he says he's too tired, that you know it's not about you. Even in the best of relationships, most people do get too tired for sex now and then.

[basilandthyme]

When it comes to being too shy to initiate, just remember that this is about his needs. Put his needs higher than your need to hold back. You'll find that once you've jumped the hurdle for the first time, it will be easy the second.

[basilandthyme]

One more thought - if you can't use words, what about candles? Sneak in to the bedroom and light candles before you go to bed. If they are pillars or containers, make sure they aren't dusty from lack of use because they'll set off your smoke alarms. Not so sexy.

If they are dusty, clean the tops with a bit of old stocking or a chux.

[Simpo]

Try straddling him when he's lying down and/or slipping your hand slowly down the front of his pants. Or try sexy talking him into it, something like "I have a craving for something" he replies "what?" you reply with "something big and hard, something that doesn't mind getting wet" I know that would definitely turn me on. Also the idea about sleeping naked is a good one, especially if your under the covers and he doesn't know until he gets in. This may be a bit far but waking him up with a blowjob will obviously turn him on and im sure since you rewarded him he will be sure to return the favor good luck

[michelle23]

Why dont you just rub his leg and slowly work your way up till he gets hard. Always worked for me and a cheeky smile

In the beginning I was more subtle coz of shyness so words worked better instead of signals and body language. In time you learn to read each other better but for now it may be better to just say straight up "I want to have sex" lol.

I mean if your sitting on top of him kissing him, sleeping half naked etc and all over him and he still doesnt make a move, you may just need to spell it out to him or just take off his pants. If he doesnt try to stop you-carry on

[Boisdevie]

Too shy to ask? Too shy to initiate?
Ever heard about sexual equality?
Or are you still living in the 18th century?

[VerticalMoon]

I could probably come up with a hundred different ways to show a guy you want to have sex with him. The problem is that they'd all involve showing off your dirty side in one way or another. If you're not comfortable enough with him to do that, then you won't like any of them. You're scared of being rejected, and anything you do to show your interest is going to carry that risk. I'd just focus on building up the trust in your relationship. When you have more of that, showing your interest will come more naturally. Until then, sex is going to be problematic.