Need a compromise in birth control/pill and pull out method questions

[mikeyboy]

I’m engaged to an amazing girl and things couldn’t be better except for one small thing: we’re having a disagreement about switching up a birth control method.
We’re relatively young (I’m 24, she’s 25) so we don’t have babies on the brain just yet. We’ve been sexually active for over 3 years and have strictly stuck to condoms but for the first time we make love as husband and wife I want us to have 100% natural sex (no rubber). I’ve suggested the pill before because we’ve had a few pregnancy scares in the past, but she’s afraid the pill will make her put on weight and mess up her hormones. I tried to compromise by suggesting that she go on the pill a month before the wedding and stop and go back to the condom right after the honeymoon but she says that would only increase her chances of getting pregnant if she starts then stops it. I’ve also suggested the pull out method but she thinks the risk is probably too high.
So my question has a few parts:
-Does anyone know if going on the pill for a short time and then stopping is safe?
-How safe is the pull out method?
-Can anyone offer a compromise or alternative in this situation?

[michelle23]

It is not true that the pill makes you put on weight. That is only if you are on a certain type of pill that does not suit you. There are lots of different pills that she can try. Its trial and error until you find one your happy with.. I was on it for 3 years with no complications-never put on weight.

The pulling out method is not safe as there is usually pre-cum which can contain sperm so she could still get pregnant.

Other alternatives are the bar, the injection, the patch.. All can have side effects but she needs to find one that suits her to avoid those.

The only other alternative is to take the morning after pill the day after your wedding

[HeartIsAching]

Why not a spermicidal suppository like Encare, and a diaphragm or sponge?

[smackie9]

I find it odd she would be sooooooo concerned that she would get pregnant, when you two will be married (I would revisit that conversation as to "when" you two are planning to have kids). When having sex there is always a risk of pregnancy. Condoms are not 100% birth control anyways, so any other option would be just as good if not better. As for the pill, weight gain, and other issues is long ago folk lore when the pill was very strong. They have had over 40 years to make it more effective with less hormone, so less hormone = less side effects. You can tell her that being on the pill reduces the chance of ovarian cancer. Now they say oral contraceptives slightly and temporarily increase the risk of breast and cervical cancer. However, the slight increase in breast cancer occurs during and in the 5 years following the use of these contraceptives, and usually at a time and age when risk is very low.

She should go to a family planning clinic or her doctor to discuss her options and get properly educated on the different method of birth control. She's 25, she should know about this kind of thing by now.

[basilandthyme]

Smackie is right. My mum got fat from birth control pills when they were new and very strong in the 1960's But I started using them in the 1980's and they were much improved by then. And they've improved in the years since as well.

She needs to go to a doctor or birth control clinic for some real and modern advice on all the numerous methods and combos available now.

[Starnique]

Dude, you better be careful with the pull out method. One day it's just going to feel too good.

[vashti]

she’s afraid the pill will make her put on weight and mess up her hormones.

I don't know about the weight gain (I DO know people who still complain about that when starting the pill), but I don't blame her at all about the messed up hormones. Lots of women experience decreased libido when on the pill, and it isn't like you just stop taking the pills, and go immediately back to normal.

I am also voting in favor of the morning after pill, if you are insistent about it (but I think it's a rather stupid thing to insist on).

[Boisdevie]

The pull out method is not a method = it's just stupid.

[VincenzoG91]

-How safe is the pull out method?

The pull out method is a very safe and traditional way to have kids. Are you ready to be a father, mikeyboy?

[Clean]

maybe this is kinda late, but I recommend an IUD
I got the copper kind - no hormones, very effective & lasts 12 years, convenient since they put it in you once & you don't have to worry about daily pills etc.
the downside though is I get cramps, spotting & heavier periods, but I think it's well worth it

[smackie9]

I was told having it removed is a painful and unpleasant experience.

[dem862]

My ex-wife and I used a diaphragm. She didn't even use spermicide or anything. It worked pretty good. In five years we only had one kid.

[Starnique]

I have the mirena now and Im getting this shit taken out next week. It was cool but I don't like that spotting and mess. Im getting back on the shot and its cool as long as you workout so you wont gain weight. Im active at work so Im not worried about that. Pull out method is silly and irresponsible. I know several chicks that got kids off that method. Better get ready or go get a morning after.

[vashti]

I was told having it removed is a painful and unpleasant experience.

So is having it put in.

[basilandthyme]

I have the mirena now and Im getting this shit taken out next week. It was cool but I don't like that spotting and mess. Im getting back on the shot and its cool as long as you workout so you wont gain weight. Im active at work so Im not worried about that. Pull out method is silly and irresponsible. I know several chicks that got kids off that method. Better get ready or go get a morning after.

For what it's worth, when I had my Mirena removed - it was quick and painless. I hope it's the same for you. Not at all like having it put in.