Is it over?

[browntresses]

I feel very rejected right now. I had a few dates with this guy in Dec. who really seemed very over the moon about me. He stuttered when he talked to me, said how much he liked me. I wasn't sure about him because he was a past drug addict and alcoholic in the past and is 49 years old and lives with his parents. They don't need to be taken care of. It's just super comfortable for him. Anyway, our dating association ended because of an argument in which he hung up on me. Fast forward, we got in contact this month because he saw me looking at his online dating profile and he sent me a message. He did apologize for the hanging up.

I thought he wanted us to start back up dating. Instead I started getting messages of him calling me "friend" and saying we could be really good friends. Then I started questioning him about that this morning, because what I really wanted was a dating relationship with him, maybe more depending upon if I liked him better than I did when we were dating. We went back and forth with our semi-argument this morning. He kept saying he had to go run errands, but he continued to message me and participate in the back and forth. Here are so key comments from this morning.

Me: "I really missed your sweet personality while we weren't speaking. Such a shame. Bye.C'mon, xxx. Just tell me. I'd really like to know. Why are you over me? I want to date you again. If you want to date me. Let me know. You can laugh around me as much as you want, sweet man. Now, did you still want me to go to church with you? Why don't you call me so that we can talk? If there is another woman in the picture I can respect that and bow out."

Him: " lol Yes you are and I respect that. Can we start as friends and see what happens? That way it's not all complicated to soon."

Him: "Okay just stop browntresses!! lol I'm not sure if we are right for each other. Maybe our personalities are just to different. Alls I know is it would be nice to see you and go to church with you. That's all. No funny business. lol"

Him: "I do still like you but I don't want to lead you on and then hurt you. I can be blunt too."

Him: "I don't want to get involved and then have to back out and hurt you. I am a gentlemen."

Him: "I just thought we could be friends, Browntresses. I thought that would be nice. Someone to go to church with once in a while. Maybe a movie now and then. I'm not sure if I want more. I am being honest and I know you appreciate that. I just want to be your friend. "

Him: "Browntresses, I really have to go now. I really need to relax and enjoy the service tonight and I don't want any pressure or to argue. Thank you for all the sweet things you have said. You are sweet. You mean a lot to me too. I'm just not ready to give you an answer now. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Maybe we can try to go as friends on Wednesday in a few weeks. If you write back now and I don't answer it's because I'm leaving now and not just ignoring you. Your friend xxxx."

And this is the last thing I wrote, "You rotten f*cking a**hole. You really hurt my feelings. Here I am giving you another shot, and this is what I get. Like I said, let's see if you can do better..."

Okay, that's the whole ugly scene. All the while he was talking about how he had to go run "errands", he was reading and responding to my messages. I'm upset, angry feeling rejected.

So, do you men think that his is the end of things with me and this guy? I just wanted to go on a few more dates because his company was pleasant and I liked that he liked me so much. But, I don't want to be in his presence if he doesn't like me. Do you men think he still likes me? And I will hear from him again soon?

[browntresses]

I really didn't mean to curse at him like that at the end. I think I've really lost it! I was just so disappointed.

[Valixy]

If it wasn't over until now you might have just made that happen. His messages were not exactly what you expected but they were nice, honest and polite. It sounds as if you were forcing the conversation, didn't listen to what he was saying and were very rude to him in the end. Maybe you should apologise? And learn to listen to a guy, respect him and not force a conversation when he's doing errands or a date when he's gently telling you he doesn't think he's interested in dating you just yet.

[browntresses]

Thank you, Valixy. Yes, I was forcing the conversation because this really wasn't what I was expecting from him. He said, I'll talk to you in a few days in one of the messages. Why say that after telling me he doesn't want to date me. Was it going to hurt him to take me out to see if we could click again? I'm just feeling very rejected right now.

[Valixy]

I think that he stated very clearly what he wanted several times, being friends with you and hanging out. You are either comfortable with this or not but it could obviously be a new opportunity for both of you to see if you click again. He sounds reasonable to me. Why would you feel rejected? You dated 6 months ago, finished in an argument and now you've just started speaking with each other again.

[browntresses]

Valixy, he just said that he didn't want to date me. That is why I feel rejected.

[Valixy]

It's normal for people to want to start going out with someone on friendly terms first and see how it goes from there. Again, I think it makes sense and you shouldn't feel rejected. If you're not comfortable with this, don't accept it but be a lady about it

[browntresses]

Thank you, sweetie. That makes sense. Do you think he will contact me again after that last message when I called him a "rotten, f*cking, a**hole though?

[Valixy]

I think that you owe him an apology first. Keep it simple. You could add that you didn't mean what you said and that you were having a terrible day and ask him how he is... See what happens after that. If nothing happens or if he rejects you, just move on. We don't always end up with someone who attracts us.

[michelle23]

OP your being desperate. the guys not interested so you should let it go and mobe on. you met him 6 months ago if you and he were good for each other-there would be no drama in that time. your wasting time on him its not gonna happen. just get over it and focus on meeting someone else.

and in future dont get so hung up on someone so soon, take your time. theres billions of people in the world, so set your standards high and dont settle

[browntresses]

OP your being desperate. the guys not interested so you should let it go and mobe on. you met him 6 months ago if you and he were good for each other-there would be no drama in that time. your wasting time on him its not gonna happen. just get over it and focus on meeting someone else.

and in future dont get so hung up on someone so soon, take your time. theres billions of people in the world, so set your standards high and dont settle

My friend says he will message me in a few days. None of you think that that will happen?

[browntresses]

Ok, it is over. Guess what he did? It was another childish tantrum of his. He saw the last cursing message at 4:26 pm, and blocked me from replying to him anymore on Facebook. As I said, he saw the message at 4:26 pm. became angry and blocked me at 4:45pm.

[michelle23]

good. consider that closure. now move on. dont ever contact him again and if he contacts you ignore him . life is too short to waste on something that should hve never began in the first place

consider all this as a sign that your not compatable

[browntresses]

I don't know what has gotten into me. I still want to contact him. Should I send him a message tonight via email and apologize asking him to call me that I want to see him?

[browntresses]

What do I do now? I just cannot be rejected! I just emailed him and told him that we could start out as friends if he wanted, and to call me when he gets out of church if he wants that. What do you all think of this?