Fiancee had one night stand ... having trust issues

[walktheline]

Okay I might sound very shallow but I'd like some opinions. My fiancee told me that before we were together she had a one night stand with a massage therapist. Basically she went to get a massage from a guy she had never met, he started touching her more and more inappropriately and they ended up having unprotected sex. Ever since she told me this story I'm having trust issues with her, I don't think she's actually cheating on me, but I think she might do the same again. Somehow in my mind it seems bad that she was so easy to get and I'm wondering if she'd do the same things while in a relationship with me. Am I just shallow here, is it normal for women to have one night stands alike? Am I just jealous and do I have trust issues that are in my mind, or is this a legit concern? Thanks for your opinions!

[smackie9]

What shocks me is how careless she was. I hope to god you wear a condom and has been tested. Anyways to have a one night stand doesn't mean she is this evil succubus that will drop her pants when given the opportunity. That is being narrow minded. It was a one time thing of poor judgement. We all have had them. Take it as she trusted you enough to reveal this shameful event that happened in her past. She told you because her life has change and she has changed and wants to put it behind her.

[basilandthyme]

Walktheline, have you ever had a one night stand?

[walktheline]

Yes she has been tested.

No I haven't had a one night stand. And I can't answer whether or not I would given the opportunity. More likely not, I've only had sex with women I had an emotional connection to and even then the first time felt strange. I don't think I could just sleep with stranger and not feel totally weirded out.

[smackie9]

Well there so since you have never experienced it, you can't say how she felt about it. Sometimes the hormones just take over and clouds your better judgement...and yes women do lose control of their urges too.

[walktheline]

What shocks me is how careless she was. I hope to god you wear a condom and has been tested. Anyways to have a one night stand doesn't mean she is this evil succubus that will drop her pants when given the opportunity. That is being narrow minded. It was a one time thing of poor judgement. We all have had them. Take it as she trusted you enough to reveal this shameful event that happened in her past. She told you because her life has change and she has changed and wants to put it behind her.

I really appreciate your response. You pretty much hit the nail on the head on everything, it's really what my mind is telling me on everything, putting shallow emotions aside.

[michelle23]

do you trust yourself never to cheat on her? even if given an opportunity? sometimes subconsciously not trusting your partner could mean you dont trust yourself.

i think you should let it go though. she had ONE one-night stand when she was single. it doesnt make her easy or a cheat

[bcgirl]

She was single then, anything goes. So she thought the massage therapist was hot, she was horny and single...whatever. It would be totally different if she did it now. dont sweat the small stuff. many of us have had one night stands before, doesnt mean we'd commit adultery. Btw, now I know why male massage therapists pick their profession.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

You can do what you want.

Personally I'd dump her.

[stev123]

No thanks, once a slut always a slut.

[Wakeup]

^^^ does that mean once a player always a player, there Mr Pokaroo?

I don't know of ANY massage therapist that would be that unprofessional. He's just a masseuse... simantics, shamantics.. Just sayin.

I still can't get over the ick factor of doing a guy that likely does that sort of thing very often and not insisting he put on a rubber. Hello herpes here I come... Ugh.

[VincenzoG91]

How old is she, and how long ago did this happen?

[stev123]

^^^ does that mean once a player always a player, there Mr Pokaroo?

I don't know of ANY massage therapist that would be that unprofessional. He's just a masseuse... simantics, shamantics.. Just sayin.

I still can't get over the ick factor of doing a guy that likely does that sort of thing very often and not insisting he put on a rubber. Hello herpes here I come... Ugh.

Probably

on a serious note though, I would never play around with a legitimate women.

[Wakeup]

a "legitimate woman?" One wonders what your definition of that is. O.O

[stev123]

a "legitimate woman?" One wonders what your definition of that is. O.O

Haha, I've been asking myself the same question

Maybe one who cooks, cleans, bears children and never leaves the house? Just kidding