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Thread: Having mental condition a deal breaker?

  1. 02-06-13, 06:09 PM #1
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    Having mental condition a deal breaker?

    Is having high functioning aspergers syndrome a bad thing to tell someone you like?
  2. 02-06-13, 06:47 PM #2
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    What do you mean, "a bad thing to tell"?

    Do you have it? It would explain a lot.
  3. 02-06-13, 07:06 PM #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by searock View Post
    What do you mean, "a bad thing to tell"?

    Do you have it? It would explain a lot.
    How would she react to it? positively or negatively?
  4. 02-06-13, 07:21 PM #4
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    It depends on the girl.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.
  5. 02-06-13, 07:24 PM #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by basilandthyme View Post
    It depends on the girl.
    What are the factors that it would be dependent on?

    And give me a few examples how she could react to it.
  6. 02-06-13, 07:33 PM #6
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    It would depend on how open she is to people who are different to the norm. It would depend on how much she was willing to teach about the unwritten rules of dating. It would depend on whether or not she cares what others think. It would depend on whether or not having someone who could keep up with her friends socially was important.

    If she's like me and believes that ASD is largely genetic, the genetic implications for her children may come into play too. For example, I have an autistic son and a NT daughter (who happens to be a math geek/super nerd). I'd strongly advise her to avoid marrying someone who falls on the autism spectrum to limit her chances of having a child who's on the spectrum.

    However, even if the fact that a man has ASD is kept a secret from the girl, the problems arising in a relationship because of it may be a deal breaker anyway.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.
  7. 02-06-13, 07:45 PM #7
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    Many aspies have relationships. You can check out the Wrongplanet.net forum and there are many threads about this topic. A lot of people don't understand it, or even know what it is. Also people who have it can be affected in different ways. There may also be additional mental health problems and emotional problems not related to Aspergers. If it is severe enough, someone can probably tell anyway. So if it becomes a factor, I would mention it. Even if she can't tell, and she likes the guy, I think it would be fair to her to let her know so she can make an informed decision about whether to continue the relationship or not.
  8. 02-06-13, 07:48 PM #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by basilandthyme View Post
    It would depend on how open she is to people who are different to the norm. It would depend on how much she was willing to teach about the unwritten rules of dating. It would depend on whether or not she cares what others think. It would depend on whether or not having someone who could keep up with her friends socially was important. .
    What are the unwritten rules of dating? or better, what are the written rules of dating?
  9. 02-06-13, 08:02 PM #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eng.Jackadmans View Post
    What are the unwritten rules of dating? or better, what are the written rules of dating?
    There are whole books written on the topic

    http://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-about-Dating-Relationships/dp/1849052697/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370170726&sr=8-1&keywords=aspergers+dating

    http://www.amazon.com/Autistics-Guide-Dating-Book-Those/dp/184310881X/ref=sr_1_19?ie=UTF8&qid=1370170808&sr=8-19&keywords=aspergers+dating

    http://www.amazon.com/Teenagers-Asperger-Syndrome-TEENAGERS-Paperback/dp/B008JH8KHQ/ref=sr_1_20?ie=UTF8&qid=1370170808&sr=8-20&keywords=aspergers+dating

    http://www.amazon.com/The-Asperger-Love-Guide-Relationships/dp/1412923247/ref=sr_1_25?ie=UTF8&qid=1370170808&sr=8-25&keywords=aspergers+dating

    And many more.....
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.
  10. 02-06-13, 08:43 PM #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by basilandthyme View Post
    There are whole books written on the topic

    http://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-about-Dating-Relationships/dp/1849052697/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370170726&sr=8-1&keywords=aspergers+dating

    http://www.amazon.com/Autistics-Guide-Dating-Book-Those/dp/184310881X/ref=sr_1_19?ie=UTF8&qid=1370170808&sr=8-19&keywords=aspergers+dating

    http://www.amazon.com/Teenagers-Asperger-Syndrome-TEENAGERS-Paperback/dp/B008JH8KHQ/ref=sr_1_20?ie=UTF8&qid=1370170808&sr=8-20&keywords=aspergers+dating

    http://www.amazon.com/The-Asperger-Love-Guide-Relationships/dp/1412923247/ref=sr_1_25?ie=UTF8&qid=1370170808&sr=8-25&keywords=aspergers+dating

    And many more.....
    You must have a low function aspergers disorder.
  11. 02-06-13, 09:39 PM #11
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    OP yu may find it much easier to date a girl who also has AS. you would understand each other better than anyone without AS.

    im sure you could still meet a girl without AS but you would find it difficult at times to understand and relate to each other.
  12. 02-06-13, 09:45 PM #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by michelle23 View Post
    OP yu may find it much easier to date a girl who also has AS. you would understand each other better than anyone without AS.

    im sure you could still meet a girl without AS but you would find it difficult at times to understand and relate to each other.
    I'm sure you could do that.
  13. 02-06-13, 09:47 PM #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eng.Jackadmans View Post
    You must have a low function aspergers disorder.
    Why do you say that? She was trying to help.
  14. 02-06-13, 09:54 PM #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by searock View Post
    Why do you say that? She was trying to help.
    It's not what I asked.
  15. 02-06-13, 09:55 PM #15
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    You asked: "what are the written rules of dating?" and she provided you with links to exactly what you asked for.
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