I screwed it up?

[omfgCarly]

Ive been with this girl for 9 months. A few months before, I went on the birth control shot depo provera (were both females, I went on birth control to avoid periods, as they were really intense for me). Seeing as this was my first relationship on the depo, I didnt realize until after we got together how much it was affecting me. Symptoms from this were little to no sex drive, intense emotions, where I would react to something like 10x worse than I generally would, and not wanting affection. It was a slow decline, though, as at first it was only a little difference, but the longer I was on the depo it got worse and worse. Along with that, it took me awhile to put the pieces together and realize it was/is the depo.

For anyone who knows anything about depo, its a shot, and its in youre system for 3 months at a time. I went to my doctor to switch birth controls, but I need to wait until early July, so about a month from now, before its out of my system and I can switch. Our relationship has been going downhill for a few months, but lately its been getting really bad, and she ended it, saying if she sees a difference we could try again, but she just couldnt deal with it anymore.

She ended it about a week ago, and we didnt talk for a few days. Then, we talked about 2 days ago. I started to get a bit upset because I missed her, and then my emotions kicked in. I flipped. Not on her, but with depression and anxiety, and I pushed the envelope a lot, pushing her away from me. The conversation ended with her saying she was just done. I got really upset, and ended up deleting her off facebook, etc. so I wouldnt see her and get upset. At the time I thought it was the best thing, as my emotions were completely taking over.

Now, a few days later, im finally realizing it was my fault, and I could have just continued to be friends with her and waited a few weeks. I want her back, I want things to work out, but I dont want her to be pissed or not want me back in her life. Ive told her how this birth control makes me crazy and do things I wouldnt normally, and pretty much just makes me act like a 15 year old hormonal girl. Do you think I have a chance for things to work out? Ive been incredibly upset, and I miss her like crazy.

[stev123]

Carly, I told you before to not think of this. It's hard but it takes a while to get over it, don't blame yourself or anything - it's over now and it's for the better. Just read a book, run around in circles, hell even masturbate - whatever keeps your mind off her.
It's not healthy to think like that, and you'll always be at square 1, she's already moved on.

[omfgCarly]

Carly, I told you before to not think of this. It's hard but it takes a while to get over it, don't blame yourself or anything - it's over now and it's for the better. Just read a book, run around in circles, hell even masturbate - whatever keeps your mind off her.
It's not healthy to think like that, and you'll always be at square 1, she's already moved on.

All of this happened after I posted in the broken hearts section.

[stev123]

It doesn't matter, SHE'S HAS MOVED ON. IF she wanted you back she would already be doing it, but she doesn't. Are you gonna sit there and be a doormat?

[omfgCarly]

I think you are thinking about someone elses' post, lol. Because we have talked, and she is interested in getting back together once my birth control gets out of my system.

Though later the night we talked, I started to miss her and it triggered a mood and we got into an argument. I think you are thinking of someone elses story, dude. Lol

[stev123]

Carly, I've been in a similar situation. But okay I've just provided some useful advice. I honestly hope you guys get back together if you're both madly in love, but all I know is once people break up, they generally don't get back together - that's just me though.
Best of luck though Carly I hope it works out.

[omfgCarly]

No, I get that. Thank you. Maybe its wishful thinking. Theres just a gut feeling that really makes me feel like its not over completely.

[smackie9]

Maybe go see the doctor and explain how you have been having these bad side effects. They might be able to treat that with something temporarily. Until then, why not just send each other short text messages......respond only when you are in a better mood.

[omfgCarly]

I asked her, there really isnt anything to do. I am on xanax for general anxiety, she said I can use that when I get really worked up if needed, but thats it. I need to wait until July before I can do anything else. The problem is I guess I pissed her off and she said she was just done, assuming she didn't want to talk to me again.

[omfgCarly]

I guess it doesnt help that I blocked her on the social networking sites. See,when I get in these moods I just act upon them. Im really not like this any other time besides since ive been on this shot. I at the time didnt realize it was me being irrational. I figured it was done and over with and did that in order to just get her off my mind.