"too jealous" is a bad thing - what about not being jealous at all?

[lalalita]

And I mean not even in the slightest.

Maybe I'm just conditioned from being with possessive men in the past, but a man who doesn't even bat an eyelash at blatant sexual advances from other men?

I find it a bit odd. I really feel like I could tell him another man put his hands on me, and he would just be like "It's because you're so beautiful! So how was your day?"

He's also made comments that he "hates it" when a couple is out in a party atmosphere, and the boyfriend comes over and purposely kisses his girlfriend if she is talking to another man. To me, that is perfectly normal...and well...expected.

Opinions? Been in similar situations? What's the deal?

I can see how some men are just not threatened, see no "competition" or "trust their partners"...but come on...

[stev123]

It's not about that, I see at as this. If my girls gonna behave disrespectfully like that or let other man advance to her without any hesitation - I won't be bothered, because I know that she doesn't value us to the point where she is okay with other guys. So I'll just stay in it and eventually break up when I'm bored. The term plenty of fish in the sea is so true.

[lalalita]

I don't really mean it like that, although I agree with where you're coming from.

It's more along the lines of, I've told him I've had issues with certain men making advances - to which I have firmly denied.

[stev123]

Edit: If he's in love with you madly, and you've got him under control I think you'll be fine - he probably trusts you etc. You know him better than me. But I would comment that if he's an experienced guy and has multiple partners, then he knows what hes doing.

[no-se-nada]

He may just think as long as you choose him, who cares what the other guys want...though yea, not caring if they hit on you can come across as not caring

[basilandthyme]

I don't see anything wrong or unusual with what your guy is doing. As for the boyfriend who purposely kisses his girlfriend if she's speaking to another man....I don't think I know any man who's that insecure.

[toknow]

He either trusts you completely, or doesn't care about you at all.

[basilandthyme]

He either trusts you completely, or doesn't care about you at all.

yes and yes. But there's a third option: He figures that getting bent out shape won't change anything....so he simply doesn't do it.

[dickriculous]

Maybe I'm just conditioned from being with possessive men in the past, but a man who doesn't even bat an eyelash at blatant sexual advances from other men?

Well, I don't react when another guy hits on my girl either. But then, my girl will tell them "sorry but I have a boyfriend" and that's usually the end of that so I kind of don't have to. Why exactly is your bf supposed to react? Aren't you letting these guys know you're taken? Or are you just letting these guys drool all over you hoping your boyfriend reacts? I mean, if my girl were doing that then yeah I would have a problem but my problem wouldn't be with the random dude who doesn't owe me any loyalty.

The one time a guy persisted after she told him she was taken she came straight to me and told me what was going on, so then I told him I was her bf and that was the end of that. No more of a reaction on my part than that has ever been necessary.

He's also made comments that he "hates it" when a couple is out in a party atmosphere, and the boyfriend comes over and purposely kisses his girlfriend if she is talking to another man. To me, that is perfectly normal...and well...expected.

This is the equivalent of yanking a toy away from another kid and screaming "MINE!!!!" It's expected of children but there's a point where you're supposed to grow out of it.

[michelle23]

Men are naturally supposed to feel a little possessive over their partner and protective in situations like this. Id be wary of a guy who doesn't react at all. Its part of his instincts to protect you from other men. Even if he trusts you completely-he should still react purely based just on instinct. If he doesnt, it could mean he is lacking in a vital pair bonding hormone called vasopressin.

How would he react if for example; you were standing at a bar and a guy came up and slapped your ass, you told him to get lost and then he tried to put his arms around you and kiss you while your struggling to push him away? If your man does nothing-I would be seriously worried. He should be right there in seconds scaring the bloke away. That is natural instinct.

Can I ask you? Does he have a good relationship with his family? Especially his mum and other female relatives? Does he like animals and children? Does he respect women or did he used to sleep around a lot? Does he have a close group of male friends or is he a loner?

Look for other clues of this hormone to suss out whether he is capable of really loving you. If hes lacking in that hormone-he wont make a good husband or father

Good luck

[vashti]

If he doesnt, it could mean he is lacking in a vital pair bonding hormone called vasopressin.

I think you have the wrong hormone. Vasopressin is an antidiuretic hormone.

[Rowen]

He either trusts you completely, or doesn't care about you at all.

^ Agreed. That's why jealousy in a relationship can both be a good thing or a bad thing... I'd maybe look for more signs that he doesn't care (discreetly mind you) before correctly judging this. OP, if he opens up to you and puts effort into your relationship, then I'd say he just trusts you.

[dem862]

My last girlfriend liked to make me jealous on purpose. I think she thought it made her look more desirable. At first I would react. Then I figured out what she was doing, so I stopped reacting. After a while, I stopped caring. But this girl liked drama, and I knew it going in, and I enjoy a little drama once in a while myself, but I figured out she wasn't a keeper and it wasn't going to last. When it finally ended, it was dramatic. At least, I hope it has really ended.

An emotionally intelligent guy is going to figure out the root of his jealousy and build his defense against it. Jealousy should not really be a factor in an adult, loving relationship. Not all guys are emotionally intelligent or self-aware enough to understand it however. These guys usually end up in jail or with restaining orders against them.

[michelle23]

I think you have the wrong hormone. Vasopressin is an antidiuretic hormone.

This is what I could find briefly on it

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/120395.php

[HeartIsAching]

And I mean not even in the slightest.

Maybe I'm just conditioned from being with possessive men in the past, but a man who doesn't even bat an eyelash at blatant sexual advances from other men?

I find it a bit odd. I really feel like I could tell him another man put his hands on me, and he would just be like "It's because you're so beautiful! So how was your day?"

He's also made comments that he "hates it" when a couple is out in a party atmosphere, and the boyfriend comes over and purposely kisses his girlfriend if she is talking to another man. To me, that is perfectly normal...and well...expected.

Opinions? Been in similar situations? What's the deal?

I can see how some men are just not threatened, see no "competition" or "trust their partners"...but come on...

*I* don't bat an eyelash at a sexual advance from another man towards my wife... why should I? I KNOW where her interests lie, I TRUST HER. If a guy makes an advance, I take it as a *personal* compliment as well as one towards my wife. Yep, she's cute. She's devoted to me, why should I worry?!

I know for a fact that if a man walked up to my wife - any man, and said "I'll give you a million dollars to sleep with you." she'd say no. I know that because I trust her.