20 yr age difference?

[Rowen]

I told you I'm not looking to fight. And I swear it's not any in-laws. In-laws have surprisingly been SO welcoming and happy with me. On the contrary to my appearance across a computer screen, I assure you I treat him like gold. There is many reasons for this, he is the first man who has made me feel this good about myself and I do everything I can to return the favor. His family and most of his friends have whole-heartfelt accepted me with him and have many times stated that they have never seen him so happy. Only one of these people has ever asked me flat out if I would stay forever and they believed me when I said yes. The reason I took this topic as far as a forum discussion however, was because of his childhood friend who approached me the other day and told me terrible things. He said he would never trust me and he figured I would screw this man up even worse than when his wife left him. I have been rather distraught about it and not sure how to handle it. But my man says his friend is simply testing me.

I know you're not looking to fight about it. The point is that you don't have to- just calmly tell the guy that you're happy together and leave it at that. If he tries to start something, ignore him and walk away. Again, just like in To Kill a Mockingbird, sticks and stones will break your bones but words will only hurt you if you let them. I know those horrible things are hard to swallow. But remind yourself that they don't understand your relationship with him- could not understand it because they don't know what kind of connection you two have. In the end, that connection is all that matters. It doesn't matter if someone's saying you're going to destroy that person's life by having feelings for them. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks but the two people involved. Just be calm and tell him you're happy together with a smile on your face. Then drop it or walk away. That way, you're not fighting but you're showing where you stand.

[Wakeup]

I am beginning to believe you are trolling.

Me too, however, if she's not, it's clear she's not dealt with her past and that is very likely why her bf's friend is worried for his friend's (her bfs) emotional health.

Emerald. Calm down. Surf nor anyone else in this forum is THE ENEMY.

Are you seeing someone to help you with the anger that's built up due to your past trauma(s)? (not said in malice).

[Emereldess]

Thank you Rowen. I appreciate your thoughts.

[Emereldess]

I am beginning to believe you are trolling.

I won't talk anymore if that's what your saying, I think I got plenty of feedback from this, although to your silly comment I will add that I was standing up for myself and that's the end of the story. You want this thread to be done with then stop adding fuel to the flame. Clearly I am angry? Clearly people are enjoying making me more and more angry? You are also guilty of making fun of my past so don't get me going again. As I previously said, I don't know how a couple people on here can live with themselves if they can play on and feel better about themselves from someone else's unfortunate experiences? Thanks.

PS - don't answer this comment, it's all rhetorical statements. I'm not looking for anymore answers thanks. Beyond this post I would have to say there is then trolling going on if all this spiteful comment crap continues on.

[Wakeup]

I don't know how a couple people on here can live with themselves if they can play on and feel better about themselves from someone else's unfortunate experiences?

That's your perception of what we are doing but because you have tunnel vision about your own circumstances you believe your own rhetoric.

You are overly defensive (understandably why due to your past) and you do not take kindly to much of anything other then what you think we should be telling you.

"Clearly I am angry" There isn't any reason for you to be angry, not really. And, no ~ no one is enjoying making you angry we're just giving you feedback on your situation, its on you how you react to that, not us.

[Emereldess]

Wakeup I am not referring to you. This has more to do with the comments that are making a joke out of something terrible. I deal with my past and trust me I've been dealing with it in the best ways I possibly can. What angers me in this thread, which I actually wanted to close down this morning but can't anymore(?) is the people who are making the comments such as "this is why I don't date kids" or "well you're unfortunate past sure explains the need to date your father!" etc. You've not said any of those things, you and I battled our stuff out and I would like to think that we are coming to be on the same page perhaps? But this garbage jokery and word play is too far, it is hurtful and cruel. It isn't funny. So I will stand up for myself.

[vashti]

You are also guilty of making fun of my past so don't get me going again.

No I didn't. I skipped over it as I find it irrelevant... everyone has ghosts in their closet, and you seem to want to use yours as either justification for dating inappropriate men, or for distracting the other forum members from stating their opinions about your original post.

[Emereldess]

No I didn't. I skipped over it as I find it irrelevant... everyone has ghosts in their closet, and you seem to want to use yours as either justification for dating inappropriate men, or for distracting the other forum members from stating their opinions about your original post.

Love knows no bounds. I don't have to justify my choice. You are one of the ones making fun of my past due to another post I made in this thread and you are the one linking it to my relationship choice. There is no such thing as inappropriate when it comes to finding someone you can be happy with. Enough now from you.

[vashti]

Love knows no bounds. I don't have to justify my choice. You are one of the ones making fun of my past due to another post I made in this thread and you are the one linking it to my relationship choice. There is no such thing as inappropriate when it comes to finding someone you can be happy with. Enough now from you.

Are you illiterate? I just said I didn't make fun of your past; I don't even know what it is, nor do I care. And of course there ARE inappropriate choices for people that make you happy. Ever hear of pedophilia? And you ARE justifying your choice. Why else would you continue to post?

[Emereldess]

Are you illiterate? I just said I didn't make fun of your past; I don't even know what it is, nor do I care. And of course there ARE inappropriate choices for people that make you happy. Ever hear of pedophilia? And you ARE justifying your choice. Why else would you continue to post?

Grow the f**k up already. what are you doing here besides trying to inflate your ego and get me mad again? Just leave, holy f**k. When an ADULT chooses to love another ADULT there is no such thing as inappropriate. Does that make you feel better dear?

[vashti]

Whatever. You are still young and unformed. When you outgrow your boyfriend in a few years (and I expect you will, because emotionally-mature men wouldn't have much in common with a kid your age), you'll likely be singing a different tune.

[Emereldess]

I'll send you a wedding invitation

[Wakeup]

... O.o ...

[surfhb2]

Can I be at the wedding too ?

[IndiReloaded]

I am just getting fed up with this hypocritical behavior and starting to wonder if it is some sort of vibe I am giving off due to (appearance? attitude? maturity?) what I do not know.

All of the above. The tone of your posts suggest you are highly reactive and lacking a sense of perspective. In other words: immature. Please don't go all apeshit on me for posting this. Remember this is the feedback you asked for.

Good luck. Don't be so quick to decide this is who you want to marry. I'm not sure he's good for you, based on your posts. In any case, try to relax and just enjoy what you have. You are far too high-strung, IMO.