Have No Idea

[Stephanie]

my boyfriend and i have been going out for about 6 months but the other night he scared me and i think differently about him...i've tried to talk to him...but i never know what to say...i don't love him like he loves me and thats not fair on him...and if we break up will still have to work together!!! its hard and complicated but please help!
steph

[Only-virgins]

Wait? what the hell? he scared you and now you think differenty of him? what does that mean?

[BlackRose]

Yeah. I'm confused here too. You mean he jumped out from behind something scared you or said something that scared you? Man... I hate it when people aren't clear when they post.

[Chlorine]

Stephanie----Are you afraid of him now?

[Stephanie]

ok...he held me down while we were kissing...he said i had insecurities and i was afraid of intimacy and by holding me down he was "helping" me...thats how he scared me...i never thought he'd be like that with me...sorry for being unclear in my first post

[LightOn]

ok...he held me down while we were kissing...he said i had insecurities and i was afraid of intimacy and by holding me down he was "helping" me...thats how he scared me...i never thought he'd be like that with me...sorry for being unclear in my first post

Did it feel like help?

I would split, make sure you are in a safe place when doing so.

[misombra]

uh, you can't just force intimacy on someone. that's called rape.

maybe if he was more soothing and made you feel comfortable you wouldn't have problems with intimacy.

your fear is justified, stay away from him. he's a loser.

[bohemiandonut]

ok...he held me down while we were kissing...he said i had insecurities and i was afraid of intimacy and by holding me down he was "helping" me...thats how he scared me...i never thought he'd be like that with me...sorry for being unclear in my first post

Whoah!

I was totally expecting "he told me he loves me... (etc.)"

I was a little off. Ditch the weirdo! Or at least let him know who's boss (kick him in the nuts... to "help" him.)

[igor]

Stephanie-
I had something similar happen to me. Don't put up with it. You should never feel scared in a relationship. I heard the lines like, "you've been hurt before, haven't you...?" and he acted like he didn't know what an ass he was being. I posted about it a while ago. He scared me a little so I would have sex with him. Then he took the condom off without saying anything. So, I think that if your boyfriend is starting to get like that he might eventually do something worse.
Don't worry about work either. I dated a guy from work who turned out to be a loser. When we broke up it was a bad break up, so I just ignored him all day at work. I had to put up with him leaving me with all the work while he talked to his new (much prettier) girlfriend on the phone just to piss me off. If you start to get sad, just think about how he scared you and how much fun it would be to slap him for it. That might make you feel better. (It did for me )