Breaking down... What's going on?

[brokenhearted91]

Some of you may know my story... I won't go into it on here but it's on other threads.

Lectures finished at uni so I've been able to move home between then and my exams which has helped. (Part of me misses my ex but blah blah blah)

Being at home has helped because I've been able to forget more, get on with my life and actually smile again. Things hurt like hell but instead of them ruining my day and making me wanna die in a ball, I've learnt to put them out my head easily. I even didn't feel the need to read about stuff online.

But the last week or so I've had such heart wrenching dreams and I just don't know where they've come from. I've been crying more again and thinking about things more and I don't know where it's coming from. I even did the stupidest thing and checked the Facebook of the girl I suspected him getting close to soon after and saw a picture of him and her (with other too) on there which broke me. I've got my first exam tomorrow and another 3 in the next couple of weeks and the one time I need the clear mind I've been having, it's gone and I'm finding it so hard to focus

[Kromat83]

I'm surprised you didn't delete him off your facebook, it'll take them to get over him, and avoiding contact of their appearance is the best way to cope with that.

Right when I broke up with my ex, I decided to hide pictures of her, so it was easier to move on, eventually the contact wasn't there anymore, so I got rid of her on social media, so there wouldn't be any notifications of what she is doing.

You need to just think of friends, put yourself deep into your studies and not let his happiness jeopardize your future.
You'll be alright, don't worry about what he does, but what you will want in the next few months.

[michelle23]

you should delete him off FB. you only have a few weeks left so stay strong. soon youll be able to vut contact completely and grieve the loss properly. the dreams you are having are normal-your subconsciously trying to cling to memories but they will pass.

i know its hard now but you will get over him and you will be okay. try to focus on study and soon it will be over and you can start to move on

this is all part of healing and in the end it will prove to you how strong you really are once you get through it all. i do remember you and i honestly still think hes a complete ass and you can do better. focus on the bad things-the time he cheated, all the other crap, how he hurt you and took you for granted, never really appreciated you and ditched you plenty of times.

its a good thing its over. forget the good memories and the good times . you deserve someone who will treat you just as good as you treat him. hopefully this will teach you to set your standards much higher next time and get help for your co-dependency .

this is a blessing and in time youll see that

[brokenhearted91]

I haven't deleted him off Facebook but he's set his Facebook so I can't see anything he uploads etc. So I never have to see his Facebook. The mistake I made was searching for HER on Facebook and that's where I found the pic of him with her and others. I don't know if they're romantically involved or if she really is just a friend but it still hurt like hell.

I'm going back up there today for my last two exams (tomorrow and Wednesday) and then I'm finally moving outfit good. I've got such mixed emotions. I'm dreading it because I know it'll be final then and it'll hurt and ill miss him like crazy, the thoughts of never seeing him again are awful. But at the same time it's a relief because I know now I can really focus on me and moving on. Catch 22 situation.

[michelle23]

just a few more days and then you can have a new beginning. Try to stay positive. You will be okay. The sooner you cut all contact with him, the easier it will get

[brokenhearted91]

I thought it would be getting easier now that's all... I also found a piece of paper lying around the flat with "I love you, I love you also" written on it, and she's written her name all over the paper. Broke my heart... I know I don't know the full story so I could be mistaken but it kills me. But then he's kept the birthday card I sent him last week and also he's got all the photos of us still and the keying picture even though he said he was throwing them away. I've been dreading tomorrow yet wanting it to come because I don't know how long I can carry on like this.

[meloveulongtime]

OUCH! If his facebook is on private than he's def hiding something. DELETE him. He isnt worth your time and its the last thing you need. Dont put your life on hold for him. TRUST me, its not worth it.

[michelle23]

Have you done anything to help you overcome your co-dependency OP? Counselling?

Its not gonna get easier while you are still half living with him and have to see him so much. It will start to get easier when you cut all contact with him, delete him from FB, accept its over, start thinking its his loss and you can do better (which you can), focus on becoming an individual who has high standards and expectations, who doesn't take any crap from anyone, who doesn't need a man and who is fine on her own. Get all dressed up, go out with friends, flirt, have fun, get drunk, dance, spend time with family, join a new hobby, get a job etc etc.

Its up to you to improve yourself and to get over your co-dependency and low self esteem. It will take time but focus on yourself and self fulfillment, self improvement. It will all be worth it in the end when you know you are the catch, the prize and any man would be lucky to have you and then you can be really fussy and stop settling for second best because you no longer have a fear of being alone or because you no longer need to feel loved and wanted by just anyone. You want that love from someone who is worthy