If someone was honest about their past 100%, what is a deal breaker for you?

[searock]

No, I dont.

Re-read the conversation then:

"i wouldnt want someone with baggage, psychological or emotional problems"
"What if it was something bad that someone did to them in the past, in which they were completly innocent. Would you hold that against him?"
"No, of course not. But I would want to know if they were okay about it. I.e. no psych issues."

No matter the cause, they wouldn't want a guy who has psychological issues. I wouldn't either.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

Re-read the conversation then:

"i wouldnt want someone with baggage, psychological or emotional problems"
"What if it was something bad that someone did to them in the past, in which they were completly innocent. Would you hold that against him?"
"No, of course not. But I would want to know if they were okay about it. I.e. no psych issues."

No matter the cause, they wouldn't want a guy who has psychological issues. I wouldn't either.

Isn't that low of you? If it wasn't his fault? Why wouldn't you help him get through it?

[searock]

Isn't that low of you? If it wasn't his fault? Why wouldn't you help him get through it?

No, it just means that I don't want to deal with someone else's (a stranger's) baggage/drama.

[crudemood]

First off, I'd appreciate their complete honesty. I would actually thank them for it.

Secondly, if you wanted to give them a chance I'd be careful if I were you. Look out for signs that any of their bad past behaviour is repeating itself. If so, I would stay clear.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

No, it just means that I don't want to deal with someone else's (a stranger's) baggage/drama.

Why doesn't that make you low?

[surfhb2]

Religious, doesn't drink, doesn't cuss, hate dogs and Christmas are deal breakers for me.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

If their not a virgin, is deal breaker if i'm going to marry her. I may still date her, but I wont marry her.

[smackie9]

If they are a virgin.....that's a deal breaker at my age.

BUT if they are in their 20's lookin for some cougar action, I would oblige.

[YoungCosmo]

BUT if they are in their 20's lookin for some cougar action, I would oblige.

....Holy God.....

[smackie9]

LOL! I knew that would flush you out LR!

[YoungCosmo]

Rofl.......

[IndiReloaded]

What if they had psycological issues becuase of this?

Re-read the conversation then:

"i wouldnt want someone with baggage, psychological or emotional problems"
"What if it was something bad that someone did to them in the past, in which they were completly innocent. Would you hold that against him?"
"No, of course not. But I would want to know if they were okay about it. I.e. no psych issues."

No matter the cause, they wouldn't want a guy who has psychological issues. I wouldn't either.

Isn't that low of you? If it wasn't his fault? Why wouldn't you help him get through it?

It's not about fault, it's about capacity for dealing with someone else's issues. I'm sure there are some who would say it's not a drug or gambling addict's fault either being the way they are. But I still don't want to deal with it.

Google my old posts on dealing with piles of shit. Some peoples piles are just too large for me to want to deal with. More than that, I firmly believe that while another person can provide loving support, at the end of things noone can really help anyone else to get through things. That must come from the individual themselves. Too often, such "help" actually holds a person back from their recovery.

To answer your question to me specifically, tho, it would really depend on the psych issue. Some people just have quirks. I do; my partner does. As I get older I am convinced there is no such thing as 'normal', only what one has the capacity or desire to deal with.

How does this person's response to past their experience manifest? That is what I would want to know before deciding if I want to deal with it.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

How does this person's response to past their experience manifest? That is what I would want to know before deciding if I want to deal with it.

Say it makes him, not trusting of others and tends to be closed. and if he is confronted aggressively, he would not respond or fight back, even when the other person is hitting him, irrelevant of weather they are bigger or smaller than him.

[IndiReloaded]

This isn't a dealbreaker, IMO, more a personality trait. There are plenty of people like this without a past traumatic experience. Quiet, turn the other cheek sorts. That can be a strength, too.

It's going to depend on the partner. If they are someone who needs open communication and someone who will argue with them, a bit fiesty as it were, then it could be an issue. Or they could decide they have compatible traits and form a balanced couple, i.e. one is more outgoing+fiesty while the other is more quiet and thoughtful.

[searock]

Say it makes him, not trusting of others and tends to be closed. and if he is confronted aggressively, he would not respond or fight back, even when the other person is hitting him, irrelevant of weather they are bigger or smaller than him.

I personally wouldn't want to be with someone like that: I wouldn't be attracted to him.