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Thread: Sent closure text to ex after 5 months

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    Sent closure text to ex after 5 months

    He hasn't responded yet. I probably should have expected this but do you think it was needed? I won't be attending the same school as him anymore and essentially wanted to say goodbye. I did bring up the past, although it was subtly. I basically said that with our differences I still consider him a good, funny person with a lot going for him, told him I apologized for everything I did, thanked him for respecting my virginity, and told him to have fun at college. Fyi things ended pretty badly and we would only see each other drunkenly at parties on the weekend soon thereafter--but that was months ago. Overall, the tone of the text was confirmative so it probably didn't warrant a response, but still.
    Last edited by emooore; 26-05-13 at 05:03 AM.

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    Your text wasn't necessary anyways. Gosh if it has been months why are you even revisiting communication? Let it go already.

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    Only because I probably won't see him again, and I still consider him a friend.

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    I doubt very highly he has ever felt the same about you (being a friend). Respect his silence and move on.

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    We were friends before we dated, if that means anything. I don't expect to hear from him I just wanted to say what needed to be said.

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    Some people refer to trying to get a closure as 'closing circles' and consider it a healthy and important thing to do. He hasn't responded but you did what you felt it was right to do and you will always have this.

    I wish you to succeed to enjoy this new important time in your life with a free heart and mind and without the heartache and shadows from the past

  7. #7
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    Look at it this way, you now have more room for new people to share your life with.

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    Quote Originally Posted by emooore View Post
    He hasn't responded yet. I probably should have expected this but do you think it was needed? I won't be attending the same school as him anymore and essentially wanted to say goodbye. I did bring up the past, although it was subtly. I basically said that with our differences I still consider him a good, funny person with a lot going for him, told him I apologized for everything I did, thanked him for respecting my virginity, and told him to have fun at college. Fyi things ended pretty badly and we would only see each other drunkenly at parties on the weekend soon thereafter--but that was months ago. Overall, the tone of the text was confirmative so it probably didn't warrant a response, but still.
    Why did it take you 5 months for closure ?
    Did you still have feelings for him until this point ?
    if things ended badly, why suggest that he'll respond back ?

    Approach the new school, as a relief to meet new people.
    At least things are on the right track, enjoy your new opportunities.

    It was sent, so just move on and accept your future.

    You can consider them a good friend, but they need to see it the same,
    if they don't, then they just want to move on and not have to bring
    back thoughts of when you two were together.

    I wanted to stay with friends with a person that i met in Canada, now lives
    in Poland, but that isn't what she wants, so i'll have deal with having no
    communication with them at all, and just focus on what is ahead for me.

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    Definitely don't have feelings for him. But I do think there's something in me that wishes we could return to being cordial acquaintances. I really wanted to clear the air because I know that I will be spending a considerable amount of time with his friends while abroad--they all know the history between us and I didn't want things to be awkward. We were working our way there last time I saw him, but were never able to talk things out fully.

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    There was no need for the text, I know how you feel about it but believe me, he doesn't give a crap - if he did it wouldn't be like this. Let it go and focus on better things in life than unnecessary communication.

  11. #11
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    Depends. Why did the relationship end and whose fault was it? Only time can heal wounds. Maybe she's still upset and is not ready to talk especially if you did her wrong. Good luck buddy, you'll be fine.

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    'Closure' is just a bullsh.it word that some Americans seem to like using.

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    I would not have responded to a text either. If you have something meaningful to say, then a text is not the way to go.

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    If the text made you feel better and as if you'd had the chance to have your final say on the relationship, then that's good! I don't know why people are so down on you texting him. You're not trying to dredge up anything and if it's what you needed to do, that's good. I wouldn't expect a response. It takes a certain level of maturity to bury the hatchet.

  15. #15
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    Closure is my best friend. Nothing is wrong with expressing what you need to say before you part ways.

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