Becoming a Man (almost 23, working on myself)

[loveandfinance]

Hey everyone,

Thanks a lot for checking this out and offering any feedback, tips, or thoughts you may have!

What do you think make a man?

Materialistic things such as a car, his own place, a secure job, preferably an above average income?
Confidence and charisma? The ability to carry a conversation for endless hours?
Independence? Emotional mastery?
Social skills, meeting people and building friendships?
Image? Grooming, clean clothes and shoes, great hygiene?
Presentation and body language?
Philosophy on life?
Academic background?

What is a man? And how can I make more of myself to become one? The above are some pretty basic things that I think men and women find attractive in each other. But am I missing anything? I want to be successful and I want to find true love. I want to be happy with myself. I'm a 22 year old male, living at home, working jobs I don't like. I have TONS of ambition and incredible career plans I'm working towards.

Any input is greatly appreciated and I think can maybe help some other guys out, too!

-L&F

[basilandthyme]

Growing and maturing isn't something we can write a checklist for and tick of each thing we can do. Instead, it's something we evolve into via our life experiences.

Start with the immediate future: find a job you like and work towards buying a car and getting a flat. Keep good friends and find hobbies which you enjoy. When you are happy with who you are the rest will follow.

[michelle23]

For me he is not a man unless he is honest, loyal, faithful, trustworthy first of all. That is really important to me and it is the first thing I look for. I also admire inner strenght, emotional maturity, emotional intelligence, high self-esteem and confidence.

Other than that-he needs to work hard and take pride in his job and also take pride in his appearance and I need lots of quality time and affection

A real man will also take his responsibilities seriously and not fall apart over every minor crisis or if life gets a little tough.

[VerticalMoon]

For me, it's always been about a guy's character and maturity. Most of the things you've mentioned seem shallow in comparison. Here's what I mean by maturity. Being an honest person. Thinking of others. Having a positive attitude. Being able to accept it graciously when things don't go your way. Not being reckless with your money. Believing in yourself. Taking responsibility for your situation rather than blaming everything on others. Not being afraid to ask for help, and getting treatment if you need it. Hopefully you get the picture.

A big part of this is doing something with your life besides goofing off all the time. This can be going to school, working, searching for a job, being responsible for the chores at home, volunteering your time, etc. Those things shouldn't be your whole life. It's important to take time to have fun too. But you should do your share to contribute to the world around you, rather than taking advantage of others.

[Sportsman]

For me, it's always been about a guy's character and maturity. Most of the things you've mentioned seem shallow in comparison. Here's what I mean by maturity. Being an honest person. Thinking of others. Having a positive attitude. Being able to accept it graciously when things don't go your way. Not being reckless with your money. Believing in yourself. Taking responsibility for your situation rather than blaming everything on others. Not being afraid to ask for help, and getting treatment if you need it. Hopefully you get the picture.

A big part of this is doing something with your life besides goofing off all the time. This can be going to school, working, searching for a job, being responsible for the chores at home, volunteering your time, etc. Those things shouldn't be your whole life. It's important to take time to have fun too. But you should do your share to contribute to the world around you, rather than taking advantage of others.

I must disagree. Not that you are wrong but how do you measure "responsibily", "Honesty", etc. ? You wont. And the truth is when you really like some guy (simly for his charizma! you believe he has these abilities too. If you disike him, it is harder to see his good side.

You need a charactr, personality to build a house, career, business. These are all proofs that this one is valuable. He has money because he earned it ( if he didnt inherit). He has social status because he is personality. The other stuff you mentioned... is simply women illusions. We all want to see best in our loved ones.

Well it´s definetely god to build your honesty etc. But as a measure of maturity perhabs one should look for more... concrete stuff, like your proffesion, education etc. What doesn mean you are not developing as a personality. It just mean you are not only real men, but you have proof!