No contact, rebound & the everyday's pain of moving on.

[fklove]

First of all, sorry for creating more threads before for this problem, this is the last thread im making (i might create some updates to tell how im going, ask for advices, etc)

So, me and my ex-girlfriend broke up about a Month and 1 or 2 weeks ago, i was the one who broke up because she lied to me, the lie was from like 3 months ago, she said she didnt go somewhere but she did, and it was to her ex's party.
As soon as i found out, i freaked out, i thought she was cheating on me so i insulted her with everything i have, im like this, i blow up on the moment then i regret everything.

After insulting her alot of time she turned agaisnt me, she didnt even apologized for what she did to me, didnt chase me or tried to get me back, so we've been in these kind of wars. There was a time where she went ghost, for about a week, then she came back, she said she couldnt forget me (not to me, on her social profile) & that she said she didnt love me because she was trying to convince herself but it doesnt work, bla bla.

She always was the one who made alot of problems, problems that i complicated then i always threat to break up and she begged me on her not no, truth is, i took her for granted... She even threat to suicide if i broke up with her (months before)

Now i think she moved on, last week she said she still had feelings for me & that she wanted me back i gave in and i dont her not to give up, the thing is i insulted her pretty bad told her things that none of you wouldnt believe, and she's fragile. So there was a fight after that, she said she had a great guy and she didnt take the chance because i she wanted me and still liked me and she said she was gonna go back to him because he's 1000x better than me ( she said she only talked to him for 2 weeks LOL ) this guy says he doesnt mind that she still thinks of me and understands it, i

After this, i apologized her for everything i might had done and moved on, didnt talk about her anymore, etc. After 2 days she said she kissed him and they have a thing, yet she didnt say she loved him. Then, in after those 2 days she desappeared again, leaving no way of contacting her, nothing, she kept saying how better he was than me...

Im glad she did, because i felt tempted to check her profile and like this, i have no way of contacting her, i like it.

The thing is, she still has my profiles available to see, she can see how i am, if im bad, good, in a relationship, etc. My questions here are, should i delete my profiles to let her wonder how i am, where i am, etc? Or just dont even think of her? Or will her visual contact on my profiles slow down her healing? Idk how its going i think she has someone else.

Btw, this guy lives close to her, i live in europe (dont judge me for dating someone very distant for me, it wont happen again)

Im gonna keep with the no contact, another question is, if she comes back shows she wants me or something should i give in? If she tries to talk to me what should i do? Ignore it or answer and show indifference?

Truth is, i miss her, i dont think that i love her but yeah...

This relationship has no future.

[Ann S]

" her ex's party." Well, I don't know just HOW you freaked out, but she lied to you, and from my standpoint, that is serious in a relationship! And you made it worse with your emotional thinking and objectionable behavior. However, any woman who threatens to suicide if someone breaks up with her has a definite problem. So, maybe her moving on is an actual gift to you.
If you delete your profle, you are allowing her to control your actions, aren't you? Can't you block her?
I hope you walk away cleanly....no contact, no responding to texts or VM's. Yeah, you miss her now, but that will wear off, and I hope you seek someone more stable. Ann

[fklove]

Thank you so much!

Yes, she def has problems, she's one of the weakest persons i've ever met in my life, she does drugs, alcohool, anything to get her away from the pain.

Maybe it was a gift, but it still hurts.

Please more advices.

Edit: Whats killing me is not exacly being without her, its not like it affects me much, what is literally killing me is knowing that someone might be making her happy and she loves another person.

[basilandthyme]

Well, yes people do move on and find happiness and love with other people after a break up. If she can get on with her own life, I suggest you look forward to your own future happiness with someone else.

[Ann S]

With addicts, you can never be first, EVER, because their drugs/alcohol come first. But your work is about what is in you that led you to want to be with someone who is emotionally unavailable? Addicts may give the appearance of loving someone, but really, they only love what they are addicted to. Are you a rescuer? fixer? Time to switch out of those roles. Ann

[smackie9]

You were too jealous so she didn't tell you she went to this party. Most would have done the same. You didn't trust her anyways so it was best that it was over. You don't have to delete your profile, why do that? just block her and delete her from your friends list. Date locally next time.

[searock]

Have you ever met this girl in person? Just curious.

[fklove]

@Smackie9, its a social network where i answer questions, so she can see it all the time and i have no way of blocking her, i want her to miss me & wonder how and where i am.

I will never date someone that doesnt live close to me anymore, lesson learned.

But do u think i shouldn't have deleted it?

@searock, no.

[searock]

So you expect a girl who you've never even met to not have sex or normal relationships with other guys, based on what exactly? smh...

I'm glad you learned your lesson. It would have been different if you two had met, fallen in love, spent a few years together, and THEN one of you had to move away FOR A LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME. In that case, it's pretty normal to stay in a relationship. But to be "in a relationship" with someone you've never met is just crazy.

[fklove]

There was a big big big connection between us, we really loved eachother. Atleast i did...

Anyway, it wont ever happen again because i feel like i dated a stranger.

[Wakeup]

im like this, i blow up on the moment then i regret everything.

This is a good place to start to work on changing while you're single so that you don't do the same thing in your next REAL relationship. Nothing good can come from behaving like a tyrant instead of communicating what's bugging you when it first starts to bug you.

Forget about this chick. I can't even imagine why you'd allow yourself to feel all this angst and pain but never have had the opportunity to even kiss her. You had all the pain and NONE of the gain. Folly! Huge waste of your emotional health.

[fklove]

'You had all the pain and NONE of the gain'

I'd use this to describe my relationship with her.

Now she has someone that lives close to her, while im here... sad

[Wakeup]

Get over it, dude. You fell in love with WORDS WITHOUT ACTIONS therefore, they were only words. Stop this maudalin crap you're on about and get out there, off your computer and start pursuing women you can at least touch and smell and see through their actions that their words are true or false.

I have no sympathy for your blathering on about someone you've never met. It's incomprehensible to me that anyone would let themselve become that vulnerable to a stranger. Yes, she was a stranger to you because you never ever found out if her actions matched what she was on about.

[smackie9]

Cyber relationships are 20% reality and 80% fantasy. This why people get obsessed and fall in love hard over someone they haven't met. When there is a lack of the physical one on one contact they use their imagination to fill in what isn't there.....this makes the person someone they are not in reality. WE see this all the time, they say "They are everything I could ever want" but that's because most of it is created in their frickin head.

[fklove]

Im not dating anyone through the internet again, i promised that to myself.
All i need now is to get out from this trap, but it aint easy.