Is it fine to date other people in the beginning of the dating game?

[fearoflove]

The last time I assumed or expected exclusivity after 1 or 2 dates with a guy was back in junior high school (when I had my first boyfriend). What is the point of committing so early except for insecurity? It is more wise to get to know each other better first rather than forcing both parties into a relationship prematurely.

[smackie9]

Dating as a teenager is nowhere near dating as an adult Michelle. The perspective does change. There is a broader spectrum to dating, everyone has a different idea on what dating is. One thing for sure tho is you never "assume" anything. You need some more experience under your belt before laying down some advice on this topic.

[michelle23]

It's the judgement, Michelle. "Oh, he's slept with 30 girls... wow he must be sleazy and insecure and need to stroke his own ego" - these are sexist things to say about a man's sexuality. I don't understand how you can be so blindingly ignorant to how that's sexist.

I never called that bloke in the last thread insecure, I said nothing about his ego and I did not call him sleazy. I told the OP to either get over it or dump him. When did I call him insecure? coz I know I didnt. I said nothing about him. I was simply talking about how the OP feels right now and giving her options. Your assuming you know whats going on in my head when you dont have a clue and your putting words in my mouth. The only thing I said is i wouldn't trust someone with a past like that and that is not sexist. Why do you even give a s**t anyway? This thread isnt even about that. I can feel your hatred coming from the things you say on here and I think your the one with the problem not me.

That doesn't magically shield you from being sexist. For instance I can say "I think women should get back in the kitchen." Sure, that's my opinion. But it's still sexist. Don't be a retard.

I may be a lot of things but a retard is not one of them. What you said above IS sexist. If I said "all men are dogs" that would be sexist. I didnt say that. All I said was I dont like a certain "type". Its the same thing as you saying you don't like controlling women.

Go and pick a fight with someone else. I think your whole argument is pathetic. I have nothing against men, I never say anything bad about them. The only type I dont like are muppets who believe all the BS stereotypes and feel the need to prove some kinda point to themselves and the rest of the world and try to act like some loser outa American pie and believe everything they see on TV. Saying BS about how their such a ****ing alpha while pounding on their chest and attacking anyone who doesnt agree with their lifestyle choices by calling them sexist. The main reason I wouldnt go near someone whod been around is coz I wouldnt wana catch some ****ed up disease off him and men like that are generally untrustworthy. That is my opinion. You can call it sexist all you like. I dont give a shit.

[michelle23]

The last time I assumed or expected exclusivity after 1 or 2 dates with a guy was back in junior high school (when I had my first boyfriend). What is the point of committing so early except for insecurity? It is more wise to get to know each other better first rather than forcing both parties into a relationship prematurely.

There is no commitment involved until it becomes official. But where I come from-most people focus their attention on one person at a time. That is the way dating works here. We dont even call it dating.

[michelle23]

Dating as a teenager is nowhere near dating as an adult Michelle. The perspective does change. There is a broader spectrum to dating, everyone has a different idea on what dating is. One thing for sure tho is you never "assume" anything. You need some more experience under your belt before laying down some advice on this topic.

I wasnt giving advice. I just gave my opinion and that wouldn't change. im not all of a sudden gonna start texting 20 different people if I find myself single.

[lamobatsman]

The last time I assumed or expected exclusivity after 1 or 2 dates with a guy was back in junior high school (when I had my first boyfriend). What is the point of committing so early except for insecurity? It is more wise to get to know each other better first rather than forcing both parties into a relationship prematurely.

if you really like the girl from the beginning you want to be exclusive with them because then if you take your time she can find someone else...?

[lamobatsman]

i tied my last girlfriend down within a week of spending time with her

[dickriculous]

If you're the one who wants to advance the relationship to the point of exclusivity then you're the one who needs to speak up, simple as that. You have no right to impose an obligation on someone that they've never agreed to.

[HDBadger]

If you're the one who wants to advance the relationship to the point of exclusivity then you're the one who needs to speak up, simple as that. You have no right to impose an obligation on someone that they've never agreed to.

A sane answer. A relationship is only exclusive when both parties agree to it. Anyone is free to date multiple people at once if exclusivity hasn't been agreed upon. There is no gray area here. If a guy wants to bang Woman A 10 minutes before his date with Woman B, and he isn't exclusive with either of them, then he is free to do that. And it's neither woman's business if he does.

[michelle23]

Thats bending the rules to suit yourself ^^

Im glad the people I associate with have more integrity than you lot

[Starnique]

A sane answer. A relationship is only exclusive when both parties agree to it. Anyone is free to date multiple people at once if exclusivity hasn't been agreed upon. There is no gray area here. If a guy wants to bang Woman A 10 minutes before his date with Woman B, and he isn't exclusive with either of them, then he is free to do that. And it's neither woman's business if he does.

So badger or any other guy, since we all know that SOME men have double standards and can't take what they dish out. (unlike you good men on here), So with that being said, if you go to pick up a chic for a date and lets just say 10 min prior to you getting there she ****ed some other guy. In fact, just as you was pulling in, the other guy was pulling out. It's all good right? You're not going to be thinking to yourself, well damn, if she ****ing him then he needs to take her out or wil you be hopeful that you're next in line, sloppy seconds or not? It's all good. I'm just saying don't be looking sideways because after all it's none of your business. After all, thats how you put it. If you're not official, it's none of your business point blank and the period. I gotcha. Cool.

Some of us women are sexually liberated as well. **** who we want, when we want AND even get to choose how we want to. Waiting on Mr. Right, meanwhile having a great time with the wrong ones. Yep.

[Wakeup]

A sane answer. A relationship is only exclusive when both parties agree to it. Anyone is free to date multiple people at once if exclusivity hasn't been agreed upon. There is no gray area here. If a guy wants to bang Woman A 10 minutes before his date with Woman B, and he isn't exclusive with either of them, then he is free to do that. And it's neither woman's business if he does.

Its the very reason why I say ask for exclusivity once the 'union' is going to be advanced from "just dating" to a sexual one. If exclusivity isn't agreed to then you can pretty much assume that that^^^ is whats going on and he or SHE is not ready to give that up. Your call if you want to be in a harem OR NOT.

It's a little ridiculous to ask for exclusivity after just having met over a cup of coffee.

[michelle23]

I wouldnt ask for exclusivity. I just wouldnt date someone who was banging random people.

I tend to attract the right type anyway-the type I want so its all good The best of the bunch

[Wakeup]

Oh michelle, you do go on. How many times are you going to tell us the same thing? We all know by now how perfect you think you are. No need to keep telling us your OPINION over an over again on this subject. We get it, doll.

[michelle23]

lol im not saying im perfect. Im just saying the wrong type do tend to avoid me. Must be the vibe I send off coz they no there not getting in my pants.

Then again they avoid any decent respectable looking woman in general.