My bf is 44 and I was am his first relationship

[sinibar]

Hi there, I really love my bf but he is a little 'odd'
Im younger than he is and Ive been with him a year. To start with he did take me a few runs in his car and we did stay in a hotel twice but he doesnt do anything else. He texts me that he loves me and he still tells me he wants me to move in with him [ once he gets his sister and her husband to move back out to their own house] and has mentioned marraige a few times
He is very loyal and sincere and he has no interest in other women, where we live there are no good looking women, theres me and a few younger ones but I dont have any worries there
He does this weird thing every few weeks he just doent call me or bother about me for a week and doesnt come and see me, yet offers no explanation for it
Ive dated quite a lot of men over the years but ive never met one that has such odd behaviour as this
I never call him up on his behaviour, I dont think he could deal with confrontation however nicely I put it
I wonder do you guys know what a man is thinking when he does this, we have a mutual male friend, he says he cant understand why he would leave me alone on a weekend , he says he thinks maybe because im his first relationship he doesnt know what your meant to do
He loves sex and says he wants it every night and morning with me and thats his main incentive for getting me to move in

[BackUpOrGetStng]

My guess is that he bangs random chicks, when he disappears.

[michelle23]

Or maybe he is married. Have you met any of his family/friends? How often do you see him?

[pcmaster]

He is a "little" odd like all 40 year olds in their first relationship. Communication is the key. If he really dont understand himslef then he needs ton of questions so answering them he will understand himself better.

[sinibar]

He is a "little" odd like all 40 year olds in their first relationship. Communication is the key. If he really dont understand himslef then he needs ton of questions so answering them he will understand himself better.

He sure does ask me a lot of questions. He texts me night and morning for a year and we meet once a week for a cuddle and talk, daytime and once a week for a shag, nighttime. He phones me once a week for an hour. However every 3 weeks he goes flat and i dont hear from him for a few days. I always let him do the texting/ phoning. Ive never phoned him. I wonder what kind of questions I should ask him...
To the other posters, he is not married and doesnt have loads of chicks haha
we have a mutual friend who is his neighbour, where he lives there are not any women for miles. He doest go out and socialise. He works hard and he makes a lot of money and so do I
He always always says he wants to be with me long term one day.
Ive never met his family, his parents died and he has a sister, but Ive been warned by people ho know her that she wont let any woman near him. When im with him she phones all the time so i call her the sisterwife. Shes married with a baby. When he said he wanted me to move in with him I said what about your sister and he said 'Ill soon sort that'
Hes only got 2 proper friends and Ive met them

[smackie9]

He goes to see a dominatrix to satisfy his submission fetish. Prob likes to dress in a pink tutu and kiss her feet. He's just not ready to come out and tell you yet, but I'm sure one day he will when he is more comfortable with you.

[pcmaster]

The questions you have to ask him is basicaly simlple questions about whats bothering him. Just like counseling. And based on his answers ask even more questions. Dig deeper and you will find some surprises. Even if he dont tell where hes lost for a week then will be much more emotionaly open to you anyway. Cause he will feel like you care. Like it matters.

[sinibar]

The questions you have to ask him is basicaly simlple questions about whats bothering him. Just like counseling. And based on his answers ask even more questions. Dig deeper and you will find some surprises. Even if he dont tell where hes lost for a week then will be much more emotionaly open to you anyway. Cause he will feel like you care. Like it matters.

Hmm I see. I think yes its a year so I should try that, hey then if he gave the answers whatever they are it could bring us closer. I always think I should leave him alone and not ask him whats wrong..but your answer really makes sense
I think I should say, hey honey youve been awfully quiet I just wonder is anything bothering you .
Thanks for that