Staying Friend with Ex, and Current Girl?

[Via Vai]

I recently broke up with guy I have been dating. Although we've only dated for a really short time, about a month or so, we've gone through so many ups and downs together. Before we started dating, we were becoming pretty good friends. Everyday we talked on the phone, sent each other text messages, and sent each other many e-mails. We also hung out a lot, like about 4 days out of the week-- this is before we started dating.
At that time, I knew that he had someone else on his mind/heart, so I never thought of him more than as a friend.
But then, one day, we hung out, and he told me he liked me, more than as a friend. I didn't know how to respond, and I said I liked him too even though I didn't because I didn't know how else to respond. I also figured out that if things don't work out, then I can't be hurt because I didn't like him anyways.
We started dating. Then, I told him how awkward it would be if our two other friend found out that we were dating. This is when he told me the girl he HAD loved was one of our friends.
At this point, I thought, man, we can't be together because it felt wrong to date him. Somehow, I let him convinced me that he really liked me and really wanted to be with me, that he was over her, that when he was with me he didn't think about her.
So I stayed with him. In that period of time, we saw each other every single day. He really grew on me, I don't know whether I fell in love with him, or whether I just got really used to having him around all the time.
Somethings happened along the way, and it made me realized that he was still in love with the other girl, very much in love with the other girl, and that there was no way that he had any other feelings for me. And then, after much prodding him, he finally admitted to me that he was hoping that he could get over her by trying to be with someone else. He finally admitted that he was using me, and that he was very confused. And yeah, he was still waiting around for her to break up with her boyfriend, and hoping that something could happen between the two of them.
And we broke up. But then, I have been naive and stupid in all of this. We hoped to get back to our old friendship.
Till we went on a trip, and we were sleeping on the same bed, and he was drunk and I was drunk, and we slept together. I knew that he was just doing it because he was drunk. I did it because I really have feelings for him. From then, we decided we'll keep it going the way it had happened. Till finally the other night, after he had dropped off the other girl, I realized that I was still hoping that he had the slightest feeling for me, that maybe he'll change his mind and like me just as much as I care for him.
And it just really hurts because I feel like I'm inadequate in some ways. Maybe there's something wrong with me, with who I am that causes him to want to f*** me, yet not want to be with me. And he tells me that he cares for me as a friend. Yet, why can't he restrain the physical things, set them aside. This is where I start blaming myself, because I give him the opportunity to do those things. I let him do it because I really care for him, and I want him to be happy. He's just doing it because he's wants sex. But we've finally really ended it.
And I blame myself for not being the stronger person, and for not saying no.
But anyways, do you think I'm still staying around because of what people do when they break up with someone, or do you think that I'm staying around because I just want to be friends with him? I don't know. Should I still remain friends with him, or what should I do?
We're good friends, I think. I said I think because I'm starting to doubt about whether he cares for me as a friend or even value me as a friend because of some of the things that he has done.
and even more so because we're still friends, and he talks a lot about other girls that he love and other girls that he used to like. I don't want to tell him that it hurts me, because after all, I am his friend too. So here I am to see what you guys think about that. Should I continue this friendship, because I really enjoy his friendship, or should I just stop all contact with him immediately, or should I phase him out slowly? And we have another trip coming up, and I don't know if I should go. what you guys think?

[misombra]

you guys crossed the thin line that friends shouldn't cross. now you have feelings for him and he's dicking you around. using you. having sex with you without actually loving you. he's a jerk. why would you even want to be friends with him. i had a 'friend' like this once. he treated me like shit. he took advantage of the fact that i cared about him and he just went around hurting me every chance he got. it sucked. i have cut off communication with him because that's not what a friend is. that's not what a friend does...

[Via Vai]

Sometimes, I feel like that, that he's using me, and he hurts me a lot. I don't think he does it intentionally, or maybe, I just keep telling myself that he doesn't do it intentionally.
But he's also been there when I need him. I don't know if he's there because he feel some guilt at causing me so much pain, and treating me unfairly, or because he cares for me.
But if he cares for me, and still treated me so unfairly, what would happen to me if he stopped caring for me when things work out between him and her?
And the reason why we decided to keep it to that other stuff was because I told him that I "liked it that way". I do, I guess, because it means I could be with him. That's all I want.
So today is the second day of ending the sexual relationship. I want to ultimately get him out of my life, but I really enjoy his friendship. And especially hard to do to since we always talked, and texted each other so much even before we were dating.
How long does it take to get over feeling the need to call him up? I kow that getting him out of my life will really increase my self-esteem, because I'm really doubting my value as a person. He makes me feel like s#!t.

[misombra]

lol. it took him going into the military to finally cut off contact with him. his doing that was the best thing that ever happened to me...

[Via Vai]

ah, so I am to subject myself to more torture.

i tried breaking my phone so I won't call him. but it kills me to not get to talk with him on the phone, so a few days later, I went to get another one.

here's my plan for phasing him out (which has failed many times already).

I'm telling myself, today, I am not going to write him an email. What a long way to go till today ends.

[misombra]

just think about how hurtful and degrading it would be to continue...

[Via Vai]

i think about that too, but then, i also think about how sweet he can be. how sensitive he is, about all the good times..

man, i need to move out of this place, or get really sick or something where my hand won't be able to initiate contact.

[Blazin Trav]

I'm sorry but this is how girls are, they can't let go. As a guy, I don't have as much trouble letting go. Maybe I'm wrong but that's how I've seen it so far. You need to move on and see if you can't find a guy who treats you even better, who you'd do special things for because you trust him.

[Via Vai]

we hung out last night... and he seemed so distant. It makes me wonder why he bothered hanging out with me at all.

we're trying to be friends, and being close to him makes all the pain seem so trivial.

I know I have to move on. I'm trying. But it's hard.

After we hung out last night, I told him that I'm not going to an upcoming concert with him on Saturday, that he should just go with the other girl for the late show and I'll go for the early show. He would have more fun that way.

And he said it sounded like we weren't even friends and that I didn't even ask him what he wanted. He said he would have fun if we go together. But if we go together, I won't be able to stand the pain of hanging out with the two of them. I'd feel like a third wheel.

Should I just go with them and try to put on a happy face? This problem is going to keep coming up... What should I do?