Can taking a break ever be a good thing?

[topgun123]

I have been dating this girl for a Year and a half now and we fell in love. We became very close over this time span. She told me that I am the only thing she is certain about in her future. Then recently we have been arguing a lot. About her going out and getting drunk in wrong environments etc etc. We got pretty upset recently with each other. Neither of us have cheated or anything like that but we fought so much recently that we almost broke up over it. We changed our mind and she wanted to take a break to cool down and take a step back to make sure we are good for each other. She promises that she has no intention of meeting other men or dating that this is just for our relationship. Should I worry? I can't stop thinking about it. I have analyzed everything (the break started 5 days ago. NC) and I know that I want to make it work no matter what. What should I do? Just give her space and wait? Any of you have any good outcomes of a break kind of like this one? Please and thank you

[BennyJamesField]

hmmmm
taking a break cannot be dubbed anything for certain. it depends on the type of person and the timing.

with my ex we decided to take a break after you first 9 months
i was in a metal band at the time and we were starting to gain some momentum

now i am sure this is not the case with you but she legitimately had a break
Me on the other hand, i fkd up. i fkd up big time. more than once. with in the first week of the break.
2 different gigs led to 2 different instances.
drugs and alcohol can be a problem with these things.
so after i cheated twice and then caved into my guilt and gave her the option on what she wanted to do by telling her i continued seeing the second one for a few months
until one random morning my ex had popped up on my door step. It was a hard thing to do but i had to let the second one go as i knew i loved my ex.
funnily enough with all that knowledge it was extremely cleansing and we had another 3 years together after that and a beautiful baby boy
we eventually did break up but that break could very well be the reason that I have some one so much better in my life than her. My son

[basilandthyme]

I don't see the point in having a break. If a couple can't sort things out together, then the relationship is pretty stuffed anyway.

You say that you want to make it work "no matter what". Does "no matter what" include your acceptance of her drinking and partying lifestyle? Will you hold your tongue no matter where she goes and how much she drinks? Because if you can't accept it (and I'm not saying that you should accept it), you need to chalk it down to incompatibility.

[HeheMan]

Never heard of a break not turning into a break up.

[rhonddamayne]

Never heard of a break not turning into a break up.

this! if you love each other. there is no breaks.

[michelle23]

If you fight that much that you need space then its not a healthy relationship and i think once the "break" happens you should prepare yourself for the worst. Its normally her way of preparing you for the final nail in the coffin.

Maybe she thinks this will make the breakup easier for you both. If your not happy with her lifestyle then your not compatable and if she does drink tol much, party all the time and hang with the wrong people-then she probably has cheated on you.

I think couples who preger to go out seperately all the time and drink separately-then they prob are cheating coz there keeping you out at a distance.

[lalalita]

It depends on the person and their true intentions. I've been told "I need a break to better myself so I can be a better man for you.", when all he really wanted to do was get his dick wet for a few weeks and them come back home to security. What is your gut telling you? Do you think she is honestly trying to let the waters calm between the two of you? Or do you think she is looking for a way out?

[topgun123]

It depends on the person and their true intentions. I've been told "I need a break to better myself so I can be a better man for you.", when all he really wanted to do was get his dick wet for a few weeks and them come back home to security. What is your gut telling you? Do you think she is honestly trying to let the waters calm between the two of you? Or do you think she is looking for a way out?

Well I was unsure but today I gave in and sent her a text. She was stand offish but says she thinks she wants to make this work too but wants to take it slowly. She does not want to go back to where we were. As in fighting all the time. So we are taking things slow (we went 5 days NC) We have a dinner date coming up later in the week. So that is a good sign. Any advice?

[BennyJamesField]

Breaks are bayed
mmmkay

[basilandthyme]

Well I was unsure but today I gave in and sent her a text. She was stand offish but says she thinks she wants to make this work too but wants to take it slowly. She does not want to go back to where we were. As in fighting all the time. So we are taking things slow (we went 5 days NC) We have a dinner date coming up later in the week. So that is a good sign. Any advice?

My advice: don't get back together with her if you can't accept her drinking and partying. Otherwise, she'll just dump you again.

If you can't accept her partying, then find a different partner.

[topgun123]

My advice: don't get back together with her if you can't accept her drinking and partying. Otherwise, she'll just dump you again.

If you can't accept her partying, then find a different partner.

I handle it no problem when she does it with me and all I ask is for her to calm it down a little. Meet in the middle type of thing. I am willing to compromise.

[basilandthyme]

I handle it no problem when she does it with me and all I ask is for her to calm it down a little. Meet in the middle type of thing. I am willing to compromise.

So, you're still wanting her to change. Not a good start. If you really want her, you have to accept her for who she is.

Thing is, she may well decide that being single is a better option than compromise.