Asking girl out for coffee

[NotNow]

Hi. Your help needed.
I am shy with girls (had just few of them through lifetime, so I don't have much experience here).
There are no problems when I talk to them about daily stuff (e.g. studies). But when it comes to love stuff, I am finished. So...

There is one girl whom I really like. I see her just few times a week: on bus (going to university) and at the university library. I know nothing about her. We just study in the same university, but different subjects, we never meet in class.

I don't imagine myself starting talking to her in the bus. The same goes at the library. I just don't feel confident enough to start talking or even more: asking her out for coffee.

I realize that the main problem for me here is communication by words. So maybe sometimes it could be done by writing?
It that case, my plan would be to give her short (hand written) note at the library: "Coffee? And my phone number". Just to 1) approach to her; 2) say hi 3) put note on the table; 4) wave back with phone; 5) leave.

Please exprees your opinion about my "plan" and also give yours. Thanks.

[FlaCooln]

No notes....terrible idea. You are a man not a boy in middle school. Please check here if you like me? That ring a bell. Don't do the note thing, as its way to passive and she will be like meh...pussy.

Talk to her on the bus. Ask her out for coffee or drinks.

I had a similar situation in college. I was taking the university bus to campus on a Monday and I noticed this really hot girl (looked a bit like Selma Heyak to me; she was Mexican too) and I thought she noticed me too. That Wednesday I saw her again and we both smiled at each other briefly and I still didn't make a move. I made up my mind that on Friday I was going to sit next to her and ask her out. So Friday came and I dressed extra nice that day and was looking good. Guess what she was dressed up in a hot skirt and tight top. So I sat next to her and we began talking. She said wow all it took was for me to wear a skirt and you finally came over. That made me relax and we started joking around and hit it off.

Suddenly, some dude she knew from class (he liked her too I assume) sat on the other side of her and began to chat her up. I felt like I was about to get blocked, but she grabbed my hand and put it in her lap. She then turned away from the other guy and gave me her complete attention. I walked her to class, we made plans to go out for drinks/dancing that evening, and she kissed me on the cheek and said goodbye. We dated for awhile and had a great time, but nothing serious which was fine with me.

[NotNow]

Thank you FlaCooln.

I realize that talking is the best way to make first contact, but I dont understand why I feel so unconfident about myself in such situation. If we were studying same subjects, when I wouldn't have any problems. But when you abosolutely don't know her, finding right words seems impossible..

Bus situation: I enter the bus on its second stop. She is already there (actually we live not far away from each other). There are not many people on the bus, so it would be strange if I sat next to her, because there are many free seats. Don't you think so? Also how I should start talking? About what? Asking her permission to sit next to her? No ideas..

[FlaCooln]

I thought the same thing. But, its not weird at all. I am sure she has noticed you and you have probably exchanged glances. Just get on the bus and sit next to her. Don't sit so close your touching or anything, but close enough to have a personal converstation. I can't remember exactly what I said (it was about 10 years ago lol). But, I probably just introduced myself and made my intentions clear from the get go. Something like.....

Hello, my name is _____. How are you? I figured since we have both been smiling at each other I would come over and introduce myself. Then, just let the conversation take its natural course.

[NotNow]

I am 100% sure she noticed me (both on the bus and at the library). For e.g. today I saw her on bus again, sat far away from her, afterwards when some grannies entered the bus, I left my seat for them, and just keep standing up to stop we both need to get out. Yep, we've exchanged glances during this ride but there were no signs from her, if she likes me or no (no smile or sth) : (
Maybe next time I should try to catch her eyes and keep looking at her more than it is ussual at such moments and see if she smiles or just ignores me?

(BTW: all the seats in the bus are 2seated - so could sit next to other passenger or stand.)

[FlaCooln]

I wouldn't waste any more time staring at her. Just go talk to her. Whats the worst that could happen? She says thanks, but no thanks. At least then you can move on. I know us guys fear rejection, but once you are rejected it's like thats it...what the hell was I worried about. It's not like she is going to take a knife out and stab you.

Sack up my friend! Time to ask her on a date.

[NotNow]

What about such scenario:

1) I enter the bus, approach to her say hi and sit next to her.
2) Then open my work book (you know that with days, calendars), find that day page, where would be written all day works. And the very first one would be:
"1. Speak to the first girl seen on the bus" or "1. Speak to the most beautiful girl on the bus"
3) Put the book in front of her to read.
4) Start the talk.

The purpose of this scenario to make first step, hoping that she would smile and that would be good sign for starting talk. If she does nothing, I would just say: "i like sticking to the plan, so ...."

What do you think about that? Maybe this idea isn't so bad? Maybe it needs some corrections speaking about words.
Really need your help. Thanks.

[FlaCooln]

It's ok....she may find it cute. But, still a bit passive to me. I think the direct approach is much better.

Sit next to her. Strike up a conversation. If she's receptive compliment her, tell her you find her very attractive. Ask her out.

You are really over complicating this. Be direct, keep it simple, be confident because you have nothing to loose.