Once upon a time I believed love and relationships should come about in a way that was acceptable to me. I couldn't understand how I could be in love with someone, to the point where I was willing to do anything for thier happiness, and not have them jump at the oppertunity. Was there something wrong with me? The problem wasn't me (In the larger sense) it was my perception and expectations. However at the time I thought there was something wrong and I went into great depth trying to figure out what it was.
As I became more and more frustrated trying to find the truth a pattern slowly started making it's way past my defenses. Truth was, I couldn't handle the truth. I would find something and say, "That's too ugly to to be the truth, I'll keep on looking." As human beings if we sit with an unfortunate truth and live with it for a while we begin to adapt. We take our energy out of the ideal and invest it in reality, and find a way to make our lives as happy as possible with the new information.
While I believe relationships going sour is equally devistating to people who "get it", and people who don't, the people in reality move on more effectively because they know what is, and is not available to them as refuge. They are not looking for a fruitless journey off into the land of make believe to carry thier wounded heart.
One of the things I had to learn is it doesn't matter how much you love someone, or do for them if your not willing to walk away if your needs are not being met. If you are sold on that person no matter how they behave, they know they have you in the bag. They can take you or leave you as they please. You can not be lost to them. You are no challenge. The point is not to pretend you don't like someone when you actually do. That's playing games. The point is to realise your self worth and you deserve to have your needs met. That is to say, "I love/like you but you're not giving me what I deserve. Good bye."
Adopting the attitude of I'll walk away, is not a tactic. Sometimes the other person will be all to happy to let you be on your way. The point is you will be moving away from something that was a pleasant, (but ultimately destructive) distraction, towards finding a legitimate lasting happiness. However more often than not the other person will see that you are not needy, and feel compelled to step up to the challenge.
Most people want to earn what they get. Not just have it handed over to them.
"Never treat someone like a priority who is treating you like an option"