Wanted to date, left heart broken - Long, but I just want someone to talk to..

[Turismo]

mate...

but all that pain seems so small compared to a simple hug from her doesnt it? i am happy that u are still friends.....and believe me...very few people get that.

Hussain

I was just re-reading your post Hussain, and yes, even though Ive spent more then a day crying, Ive ignored all my Uni work, Id go through it all just for another hug. Because whenever she asked me to hug her, cuddle her, play with her hair or even gently push a bruise that she'd gotten, Id feel like the greatest person in the world.

I had to tutor a high school kid today, but couldnt even do that, because she had tutored him at one stage as well, everything reminds me of her, even if I went, afterwards I just wanted to go to a nearby huge shopping complex where we first met and just spent hours sitting on a set of couches in a quiet area of the centre and just talked and laughed so much.

I was planning on skipping Uni this week, but Im going tomorrow, Ill post my letter before I go, and when I go, I just hope I can handle it. We go to different Unis, however, one is down the road from the other, and I know her friends at my Uni, and I don't know how I'll cope with that.

I jst keep thinking, one of the best times of my life wouldve been when she visited me at Uni, and we just sat on the couches upstairs, nearly having the whole floor to ourselves, and all we did, was sit in silence while she slept with her head on my chest and played with my hair.

[Turismo]

I have an update guys n girls still reading. I came across some old MSN chat of ours, specifically, one where her "Bf" dumped her over msn...

Anyway, Ive copied and pasted some of the things she said to me back then, when I saw her as a friend.

8/12/2004 11:36:13 PM wow! are you really not retarded? TM - مونتانا - WTB Toyota Hilux/Holden Rodeo (SpaceCab or Dual Cab) i felt like we were together
8/12/2004 11:36:15 PM wow! are you really not retarded? TM - مونتانا and i liked him
8/12/2004 11:36:19 PM wow! are you really not retarded? TM - مونتانا and i flrted with him
8/12/2004 11:36:20 PM wow! are you really not retarded? TM - مونتانا and etc
8/12/2004 11:36:23 PM wow! are you really not retarded? TM - مونتانا and meanbwhile
8/12/2004 11:36:27 PM wow! are you really not retarded? TM - مونتانا he was realsing
8/12/2004 11:36:32 PM wow! are you really not retarded? TM - مونتانا that he didnt have felings for me

She told me back then she was crying, and never wanted to see another guy again

8/12/2004 11:41:07 PM wow! are you really not retarded? TM - مونتانا he thinks i took this well
8/12/2004 11:41:12 PM wow! are you really not retarded? TM - مونتانا but im so embarrsed
8/12/2004 11:41:19 PM wow! are you really not retarded? TM - مونتانا so much im sittin here
8/12/2004 11:41:20 PM wow! are you really not retarded? TM - مونتانا cryin
8/12/2004 11:41:21 PM wow! are you really not retarded? TM - مونتانا like a loser

When I told my friends about my situation, they all told me I was the better man, turns out I told her the same thing back then

8/12/2004 11:40:03 PM TM - مونتانا wow! are you really not retarded? Listen , u were just too good for him
8/12/2004 11:40:17 PM wow! are you really not retarded? TM - مونتانا if i was too good for him, then why aren;t i with him?

And finally, another similarity

8/12/2004 11:42:43 PM wow! are you really not retarded? TM - مونتانا i thought it went really well
8/12/2004 11:42:48 PM wow! are you really not retarded? TM - مونتانا how can i be so blind?

...

She had the EXACT same thing done to her by that guy, and now, shes done the EXACT same thing to me, I always acted like we would soon be something more then friends. If she knew how it felt, WHY did she do this...

[moeburn]

Well I hope your right heart is okay, sorry to hear about that left heart.

[MaRTiaL RaGe]

It's okay dude, we're all ****in' loser-emofag-teen's at some point in our lives.

wow lmfao...

[wwefan300]

Listion Turismo i know this is hard to say but you need to think of other things before it gets out of control. Love plays games with you and when you lose that girl dont keep thinking about her think of other things think of games and stuff trust me ive never been on a date but my close friend did go out on some dates and felt the EXACT same way. Besides once you sent the letter did she say anything to you or has she gone out with another guy?

[Only-virgins]

Oh the drama.

[Turismo]

Listion Turismo i know this is hard to say but you need to think of other things before it gets out of control. Love plays games with you and when you lose that girl dont keep thinking about her think of other things think of games and stuff trust me ive never been on a date but my close friend did go out on some dates and felt the EXACT same way. Besides once you sent the letter did she say anything to you or has she gone out with another guy?

Yeahh champ, I went to Uni today, chilled with mates,felt a lot better. About to go to gym, and release any anger I may have remaining, other then that, I'll just try to pick a fight with anyone who looks at me wrong

Lol, nah, I wont...

I gorra say but, I got a mid-semester exam comin up next week, and shes put me off it.

Um, she came onto my Msn last night, and said "Talk to me if u wanna", self righteous *****, then when I did reply after an hour and was not really responsive, she told me "Look, Im just gonna say it now, being cold to me isn't going to help anyone"

Im statrin to see a diff side to her.

As for the letter, sent it this morning, but it'll be delivered tomorrow, so we'll see. Other guys, nah, pretty sure she has no other interests right now.

And now, my final agenda, ya smart ass gronk nerds who make the wisecracks about "glad yer right heart is ok", "Oh the drama", get on yo' knees and suck me because you know what? I had one little rough patch in my life and came on this forum to vent, but goin by ur post counts, ur on this forum a helluva lot, so I draw the conclusion that...

Yo life be faaarked mofos

But Id like to thank other forum users, especially MHussain for talking to me.

Cheers cuz.

I'll probably post what happens after. But Im gettin over it, only thing is, I just keep seein things which reminded me of good times we shared.

[wwefan300]

Awesome to hear that Turismo things are going a bit better i see.

As for the girl its not your fault you still have a scar inside yourself it will get better. Just say to your self if you feel bad about yourself "someone must have it worse than me" because its the truth some people have it worse like some dont ever recover from things like this.Things will get better and you will find someone better.

[Turismo]

Hey, yeah, Im feelin a bit better, but now that Im at home, I have abit more time to think.

And I really just cant help think of all the things we did together, it was just such good fun, some good stuff happened today, and Id normally come home and hit her up on the phone and talk to her about it.

And I just feel so weird knowing that I cant be so much like that now.

Is it normalish to be like that or should I just accept it and move on?

[mhussain]

thanx a lot mate....appreciate it.

hope things work out for u. and remember dude.. now that u are starting to see a different side to her.......just stay awake....i am sure u understand me..

best of luck man....hope it really works out for u....

as for the remarks u find offensive....just go with the flow mate.....no one here means any disrespect....

Hussain

[Turismo]

She got it today, just called me.

Told me that it made her laugh and cry. That it made her "feel shit even though it wasn't my intention"

Best thing she ever gotten.

Loved the personal jokes, and all the personal touches. And I was "Cute for doing so much for her"

Heres the funny part, I felt good about myself, but not like "Oh swwon I love her" good. Just good.

**** I feel good

[mhussain]

hey tursimo,
what is arabic script doing in ur mesn files?

HUssain

[yoshikuni]

I have gone through the EXACT same thing...word for frickin word there...

I had to make the same conclusion myself...that she has no fuc*ing heart! And something in me is starting to hate all women because of this encounter. I wonder sometimes if they HAVE the ability to love at all...

If that instance comes to you...well better get it over with now. If you stay with her, your anger will only rise, and your resentment will grow. Just leave and don't look back, no matter the amount of tears she will drop for you...

[prelude01]

My opinion just deal that shes that way. It takes me a while to realize that this is the way that some people are just that way. At first I take it as wow this person like me after a while its a tired ol game of cat and mouse and I get numb to it. Just act like its nothing. Cause it is nothing. She wants to be friends just be a friend but, have a barrier up on things she says just analyze it and nothing more.

[KillaJakez]

You're 18? thats cool...im a year older than you...

I had that happen to me when I was 17. FriendLY for about 5-6 months (started march 03)..i ask her out in december of 03...she says she cant altho she wants to cause she got SATs and volunteer stuff...jan 04 I ask her if she would like to go out when shes free in may..she says yes..then may comes...and she pulls the whole *we are friends i dont want to lose you as a friend* shit.
Thank god i had 3 close friends supporting me....I had my heart stabbed.
I did the whole messaging, writing letters....it never ever changes anything....it only works in movies.