Are men capable of real love?

[HeartIsAching]

lol ^^^ that's great. I liked that he cooked the roast beef dinner while I painted that master bedroom. He can't make gravy though so I took over at that point.

Equal is as equal does.

hah! I taught my wife how to make gravy.

[Wakeup]

HIA ~ You da man!

Loves gravy

[basilandthyme]

Loot, I agree with everything except one point: what's with you wanting to be put first? Makes you sound like a right Princess.

A good relationship is about balance. My needs are sometimes more important than my husbands - and his needs are sometimes more important than mine. If I was to always insist that he put me first, that would make me very selfish. And very single!!!

Perhaps you need to change your expectations to wanting a man who recognises that relationships involve 'give and take'. And you would do well to not expect to come first.

[HeartIsAching]

Truth be told, My wife's actually a better cook than I am, but I'm a damn good cook. I do most of the cooking and cleaning around the house. Wifey works full time and is a full-time student, she's just got no time. I do some of her homework for her too, LOL.

I also build furniture for the house (shelving and stuff) and maintain the car and our plethora of bicycles.

[fearoflove]

Guys would take you for granted when you allow them to.

[Rowen]

So chaps, do I need to wise up and stop expecting men to actually be able to love???
Are men capable of true love??

I can ask the same question about women from everything I observe in social situations, but I don't. So, I will say that your implications and topic are just generally completely opinion based and have no fact to back up your side. The idea of love is to give- not to get. While you can have a man like that in your life, can you honestly say that you'd give him what he needs as well? I would hope so because then you're not pursuing a relationship when you're not in proper mindset.

Everyone is capable of love, unless of course they're a sociopath. At that, I will tell you that the man you seek is out there; don't stop believing that he is. It's all a matter of the universe bringing the two of you together and finding each other. There are over seven billion people walking this Earth right now. Somewhere, he's out there looking for you. Just relax and let it happen. Don't force it. And keep your chin up; men aren't as bad as you think.

[Love'sReject]

What I meant earlier is that you implied (/are implying) that relationships fall apart solely because of things done on the part of men. Having been treated like utter shit by broads all my life, I could say the exact same thing.

A guy can absolutely perfect and a broad will still nag at him. He might treat her perfectly, and for whatever problem a girl still might deny this good guy sex. Men do sometimes treat girls like you describe and they don't end up being BFFs because of something on the girls' part.

[basilandthyme]

What I meant earlier is that you implied (/are implying) that relationships fall apart solely because of things done on the part of men. Having been treated like utter shit by broads all my life, I could say the exact same thing.

A guy can absolutely perfect and a broad will still nag at him. He might treat her perfectly, and for whatever problem a girl still might deny this good guy sex. Men do sometimes treat girls like you describe and they don't end up being BFFs because of something on the girls' part.

Yes, you're exactly right LR. This is because being a 'perfect' boyfriend is subjective. A guy can be absolutely perfect for one girl and a total fail with another. If a girl nags him, then he has to realise that he's not a good match for her and dump her complaining ass.

A nagging woman's definition of a Perfect Boyfriend is one who puts his whole life on hold in order to make her happy. My definition of a Perfect Boyfriend is somewhat different.

[Love'sReject]

Interesting and true. You know that reminds me...I always think about how good guys who's relationships end with their acting in a perfect manner to separate end up being slandered horrifically by their exes. Now, you might say "Who cares what she says about him to other girls?" but what if the guy is like me, extremely limited opportunities to begin with and the slandering ruins the few prospective girls that would give me/the example guy a chance?

[basilandthyme]

Interesting and true. You know that reminds me...I always think about how good guys who's relationships end with their acting in a perfect manner to separate end up being slandered horrifically by their exes. Now, you might say "Who cares what she says about him to other girls?" but what if the guy is like me, extremely limited opportunities to begin with and the slandering ruins the few prospective girls that would give me/the example guy a chance?

It works both ways. Guys also can get bitter and twisted and say dreadful things about their exes.

On the positive, as it would be unwise to work your way through a group of friends, the odds of someone hearing what an ex has said is low. Hopefully, new girlfriend will never have met old girlfriend.

While I have seen what you describe happen (incidentally, it was man saying evil stuff about a woman), it doesn't happen that frequently.

[Boisdevie]

who needs men anyways?

Just wait until you need the car reversing into a parking space or theres a great big spider in the bath.

[Loot77]

Thanks for all your wisdom guys, but just to put a few things straight, I didn't mean that boys would be "rewarded" with sex if they "behaved" just that if their woman feels appreciated and loved, they will naturally get more as she will be all googly eyed and in love with them. An angry GF doesn't want to put out!! I have NEVER used sex as a weapon. Also, I only nag when I am expected to pay half or more of the bills and then do 100% of the housework, these days it should be fairer.
I have been slaving over a stove before cooking a big meal and the bin was full, I asked my BF to please empty the bin as I was cooking and he was playing computer games, and all I got was a "why do I have to do it??".
And I don't want to be put first all the time, but don't like to come last just because he knew I would always be there, so our plans got dropped because some mate he hardly likes wants to go for a beer, so I got blown off. Everyone wants to feel special and like they matter at least sometimes. One time when I found an ex had been fooling around behind my back, he said he had to go to golf with the boys before we could talk about it and left me hanging all day!

Thanks to those who have said that I am wrong and that there are men out there who can fit the bill. That is what I wanted to hear!!! (and I TOTALLY agree that girls can be just as bad).
I want to be crazy in love again someday and to have a great relationship where we are falling over ourselves to do sweet things for each other and make them happy, so to know there are men who like this idea is good to know!!

There just seems to be a lot of frogs (and ladyfrogs) to kiss on the way!!

[Loot77]

P.S - I am also totally capable to do everything in the house, but why should I have to do it all while he watched TV and drinks beer?!?!?
I don't think so!!

[basilandthyme]

Just wait until you need the car reversing into a parking space or theres a great big spider in the bath.

Boisdevie, I can reverse into a tiny spot - in a manual car, backwards uphill and over a speedhump all at the same time - and I'm better with spiders than hubby.

But he bakes cakes and slices and desserts which is really good because I HATE baking.

[HeartIsAching]

Just wait until you need the car reversing into a parking space or theres a great big spider in the bath.

If there's a spider in the bath I scream and my wife comes to rescue me.