it seems like my girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with me

[Orin]

She says I'm really good at it, but I'm feeling like she is lying to me.

She never says "I really want to have sex with you", it's always "do you feel like you need sex tonight?"

It's like she thinks of it as an obligation, rather than something she wants. It's really difficult together to do things, and I feel like she doesn't want to be doing it when she does.

[michelle23]

How old are you both? Was she a virgin when you met? How long have you been together? How long has this been an issue? How often do you have sex? Can you tell if shes faking it? Do you give enough foreplay? Does she ever say "no" to you? Does she ever initiate it?

[Orin]

Sorry, I should have included all this, but I'm kind of new at this.
I'm 26, she is 28. She wasn't a virgin, but I was. We've been together 1.5 years, and this has been the case (getting progressively worse) for at least 6 months. We have sex a few times a week maybe, and its usually because I ask for it. She does say no sometimes. She almost never initiates it. I don't know about foreplay, how much is enough?

[pcmaster]

I think you where good at the start compensating your lack of skill with burning desire and faster movments. Whats your penis size? I hear if its too small than you cant satisfy women. Next time when you have sex pay attention maybe it doesnt even touch the sides.

Anyway some women are not into sex at all. Some even ask for intercourse while in fact guy is already in them - just cant feel it even with average dicks.(look in yahoo answeers) Anyway you should talk it over what the heck is she thinking about it and how she feels. Express yourself to her too.

[michelle23]

Okay Im gonna give you some tips

You gotta seduce her-really seduce her. It starts outside the bedroom. Flirt, cuddle, kiss, be very affectionate and intimate. Be playful etc.

Then once you get in the bedroom-take control.

Start off by kissing her neck slowly and move down to her nipples. Kiss, lick, nibble etc for a minute or two. Then move down her body slowly kissing your way and give her oral until she cums. Then have sex after.

You have to work on giving her an orgasm each time, she needs to be really wet when you do have sex and you have to try and make it all about her for awhile. You will be rewarded for it later on.

Look up tips on oral sex and try to perfect it. http://ie.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/36_love_tip.html

Heres the signs shes faking it: http://www.ynaija.com/7-ways-to-tell-shes-faking-it/

[michelle23]

I think you where good at the start compensating your lack of skill with burning desire and faster movments. Whats your penis size? I hear if its too small than you cant satisfy women. Next time when you have sex pay attention maybe it doesnt even touch the sides.

Anyway some women are not into sex at all. Some even ask for intercourse while in fact guy is already in them - just cant feel it even with average dicks.(look in yahoo answeers) Anyway you should talk it over what the heck is she thinking about it and how she feels. Express yourself to her too.

lol ignore this OP.

The truth is she needs foreplay and lots of it and then your golden. It could take anything up to 30minutes to make her orgasm. Sometimes more but the more you explore her body and the more you do it-the better you will get.

[Orin]

I do foreplay, but she always stops me after a few minutes, because she is close to finishing, and she says sex is better if she doesn't finish before. At that point I'm not sure what to do

[pcmaster]

At that point I'm not sure what to do

Use penis !

[Orin]

Use penis !

That's what happens, but that still doesn't solve my problem. She doesn't really want to be doing it in the first place

[michelle23]

I do foreplay, but she always stops me after a few minutes, because she is close to finishing, and she says sex is better if she doesn't finish before. At that point I'm not sure what to do

okay well you need to be a bit sneaky then and try to figure out if shes faking it or not. After an orgasm she should be really relaxed and just want to lie there for a bit. Her pupils should dilate and her body should go quite tense just before but after her muscles should relax. You should also feel when she cums. The vaginal muscles contract and squeeze in and out up to ten times and her clit moves. Her nipples should be hard and her skin a little flushed (red). Her body may also shudder/shake during orgasm and her hips arched (if your on top).

[michelle23]

That's what happens, but that still doesn't solve my problem. She doesn't really want to be doing it in the first place

It sounds like she rushes it to get it over and done with. Is she open to trying new things? bjs, 69r, different positions? Is she comfortable with you seeing her body naked? Dies she want the lights off?

[pcmaster]

It could be just emotional. If shes not in awe about you as a person she wont be screaming in bed too.

[Orin]

It sounds like she rushes it to get it over and done with. Is she open to trying new things? bjs, 69r, different positions? Is she comfortable with you seeing her body naked? Dies she want the lights off?

She has tried different things with me, but she really isn't into doing them often. She is very unhappy with her body, but we leave the lights on

[pcmaster]

Well if she dont like her body thats enought reason not to enjoy her body. You should compliment her build up her confidence about her looks. Also unhappines might come from not enjoying sex - hard to say what started first. However stuff is serious you both better see sex terapist or some kind of sex doctor.

[Orin]

Well if she dont like her body thats enought reason not to enjoy her body. You should compliment her build up her confidence about her looks. Also unhappines might come from not enjoying sex - hard to say what started first. However stuff is serious you both better see sex terapist or some kind of sex doctor.

Honestly there is nothing I can say or do to fix her self image. I've tried, and it doesn't work. It's all on her to list a little weight, but she just won't.