Celebrity crushes in relationsiphs

[jennifer.c]

Harmless, right?

But it's starting to bother me more than I think it should. My boyfriend has quite a few and the list keeps growing. It's not just a physical thing, which I wouldn't mind, but like, he seems to idealize them as people. At first I thought it was cute, but it's getting on my nerves now. He brings them up in conversation, posts about them on facebook, talks about having crushes on them and how they're cute and talented and wanting to marry them and blah blah. Obviously that's kind of tongue-in-cheek because he knows it would never happen, but it's still starting to make me insecure.

I haven't had a true celebrity crush since high school so I don't really get it. Sure, fantasies are nice when I'm single, but when I'm with someone, I don't think much about other dudes beyond "oh, he's attractive." And we just started dating, too! It's not like we're years down the line and bored of each other yet.

I'll tell him it bothers me if he keeps it up, I'm sure he'd be receptive, but I'm just wondering if I have any real reason to be insecure about this? It's probably normal but it makes me feel like I'm not good enough.

Edit: I wanna specify that most of the comments he makes about them are kind of jokes, especially the facebook stuff, he isn't all teenaged-girl about it. He's even acknowledged that he probably wouldn't even get along with these people in real life and that they're just ideals. But still...

[michelle23]

Its not normal. Its a bit extreme. He has an obsession and lives in a fantasy land. You should dump him.

[jennifer.c]

Maybe I'm making him sound creepier than he is. Like it's not all the time, I wouldn't consider any of them to be obsessions, but it's still often enough to annoy me.

[TablesandChairs]

It would be okay if he was 13 years old. But even then, most kids don't really go beyond the 'he's hot/she's hot' thing.

I don't think you should feel insecure because he's not going to end up with any of his celebrity crushes or even close. What this should be doing is putting you off him...I mean really, idolizing celebrities as an adult? Posting about it on Facebook? Fantasizing about marrying them? If it only came up now and then in jest then whatever, but it sounds like a daily part of his dialogue.

I'd just tell him: "Hey guess what, I'm breaking up with you. But it's okay, Jennifer Lawrence should be here soon. She's going to trade in her Oscar, her move-star life and her potential A-list boyfriends to be with you instead'.

Or you could just tell him he's starting to piss you off with his celebrity crap and to grow up.

[pcmaster]

Actually every celebrety have a dublicate. Like few months ago I saw a girl about my age who looks like Leona Lewis(my favorite female singer) we talked a bit and she had nice clear voice aswell and think she saw a hunger in my eyes and she smilled back too I noticed the same playful look in her eyes but I didnt had the confidence to go for it or say how beautiful she is. Later I checked her facebook page and she was single and there was a lot guys saying that shes beautiful and even poems about her beauty. So little guys have the courage to go for what they want.

[michelle23]

Maybe I'm making him sound creepier than he is. Like it's not all the time, I wouldn't consider any of them to be obsessions, but it's still often enough to annoy me.

People who talk a lot about celebrities really piss me off. I know a few people who are obsessed with their lives-read about them all the time and talk about nothing else etc. I have never even bought a celebrity magazine.

It is weird that he has mentioned marrying them etc. That is really weird. If he just said "shes hot" it wouldn't be a big deal with his mates or whatever but he should understand that it makes you feel a little insecure. Hes insensitive and probably has very little emotional intelligence.

If your not going to dump him-then its a bit pointless telling him it bothers you. Instead take some action. Put a few pictures of celebrities on your bedroom wall, start talking about how hot they are (especially after sex), put some pics of topless guys on facebook and like them and write some comments like "oh id love to bang him" or "my dream husband".

see how he likes it. If you want to prove a point then do this but I dont think his obsession will go away so you should probably just dump him.

I think that is the best way to get through to a guy-if you don't like something then see how he likes it when you do it.

[jennifer.c]

He doesn't actually fantasize about marrying them. Anytime he's said anything like that it was clearly meant as a joke, and the facebook updates are all in jest too. He's very aware they're all just ideals, that he probably wouldn't even get along with them in real life. But it's still annoying, and yeah, kind of weird.

[michelle23]

If it bothers you-then why are you settling? Id say most people fantasize about a celebrity occasionally in their head but they don't talk about it.

[jennifer.c]

I dunno, it seems like a pretty insignificant thing in itself to dump him over. It's not like it dominates his personality at all, it's just a small thing that annoys me every now and then. Every relationship has those. I just wondered if it was reasonable for me to feel insecure, like maybe it means he isn't satisfied in the relationship. You were right though, it is a weird thing, and maybe it is indicative of a larger weirdness with him. Just something I'll have to think about.

[pcmaster]

Does he calls celebrity names when you have sex? Worse would be you wont have sex because he didnt wanted to cheat on Britney Spears.
Anyway I remember one black guy who always said hes gona marry Rihana. He was about 20 great looking but super lazy and get fired from work(Tesco) next day after he said that Rihana gona be hes wife next year. Its great to have dreams but he missed out a bit in real life with people like his boss.

[michelle23]

I think its wrong to do that. I don't have any prob with my bf calling a girl pretty or anything. It doesn't make me feel insecure but hes never upset me by saying anything like "shes hot, Id marry her, Id bang her" etc etc. I think its very insensitive to do that.

[bcgirl]

If he didn't actually mean marrying celebrities then he is just an insensitive ass who doesn't think much about how that may affect his gf. You've mentioned that u don't like it, so this should kick some sense into him, if he still continues then I would question the relationship because he ain't respecting it

[michelle23]

Do what I suggested. Play him at his own game-see how he reacts to prove your point.

[jennifer.c]

Does he calls celebrity names when you have sex? Worse would be you wont have sex because he didnt wanted to cheat on Britney Spears.
Anyway I remember one black guy who always said hes gona marry Rihana. He was about 20 great looking but super lazy and get fired from work(Tesco) next day after he said that Rihana gona be hes wife next year. Its great to have dreams but he missed out a bit in real life with people like his boss.

Haha, definitely nothing like that.

[jennifer.c]

And yeah, it is pretty insensitive. I'm definitely going to talk to him about it. We're extremely open about everything which is probably why he feels comfortable saying these things, but he should realize it makes me insecure. I'm 100% sure he wouldn't appreciate if I did the same thing, like you suggested Michelle, so if he doesn't get it I'll try to make him understand that way haha. And I'm glad to know I'm not overreacting by being upset by this!