Have you ever had any dating mentor?

[TwillightBrony]

Have you ever been instructed or better coached how to communicate with women (approaching, dating, flirting...) by anybody else? For example friend or father?

If yes, how exactly did he instructed you?

if somebody of them was The Pickup Artist instructor (PUA), please, mention it.

(reason why I ask is that I wonder if and how can be this "skill" passed to another person. So if you have any opinion you can mention it...)

[Love'sReject]

To an extent, from forum members. I can't really APPLY what they've taught me yet; haven't yet proved I can get a date with which to try out the stuff. But it is very much possible to PASS this "skill": evidently, dating is only playing the numbers to get dates and then using study guides to steer the dates to some good end.

[HeartIsAching]

It's not "only" playing the numbers - that's the initial part. You gotta put yourself out there, but that's not dating, that's just getting ready to date.

[Love'sReject]

Right. And then in dating, it's technique, pre-meditated. So first it's playing the numbers to get potential dates, then calculating techniques and pacing the dates, and then the satisfying denouement.

Just need a good instructor and yeah, a regular ol' sap probably could be trained to perfection.

[Rowen]

I've never had any coach or mentor. Most of what I know about relationships is just what I've observed in social situations (my friends or even strangers). I know it sounds creepy, but I kind of people watch sometimes in public, and I just sort of judge the situation on that. Also, I hate to say this, but watching a lot of movies helped. Then again, I'm socially awkward, so... Yeah.

But I would trust the people on this site for any dating coaching or something. And in the end, follow your own morals, I guess.

[TwillightBrony]

so if Inunderstand correctly, you just had some guy who told you to go out and try and so you did. But it was not something like mentoring system where you observed another guy, discussed issue and than tried it under his supervision...


I have one theory... and it seems most likely correct: You cannot instruct anybody how to pick-up womans. Because whole thing is not abou lines, acting skill or something but about stuff they call "Vibe", others "Attraction" but most common "Charizma". It is set of subconscious signals that tell other people (womens) you are all right. This cannot be instructed. Only observed and than imitated. And after a very long time it will have some result. But even here I am not sure if it is true... perhabs not. Well... I do not want to iritate anybody but I have never met anyone who drilled something and was successful and never met anyone who was successful and drilled. It simply does not go that way. Another way how to get charizma is how Rowen says: you have to fing it in yourself.

So... One more time... had anyone anytime any mentor the way I described it? A father, good frined or perhaps real dating mentor-coach?

Maybe somebody feels iritated because of my opinion and my appology for that, I do not mean it bad. It is simply result of many years of experinece and also.... I am just thinking... experimenting....asking... Most importanty, looking for answer.

[pcmaster]

Yes I agree with you its all BS aprocah. Unless you have a really good coatch, pickup artist(few examples - Sasha Daygame, James Marshall. Vince Taylor etc. the big names)

In your mind and heart you know what you want to do. All you have to do is destroy these barriers that keeps you from going for what you want. Thats what good pickup artists do. They crush your ego and push you to aproach girls so you can build your confidence in real life action with positive respond from girls. What most guys do is hesitate to aproach girls and build up all kind of negative scenarious in their head by doing so destroying their own confidence before they even interacted with a girl.

What pickup artist do when he sees a beautiful girl is wait 0 seconds and runs to her not giving himself time to think or girl to slip away. In this way conversation is more positive and natural because there was no time to think what to say or think stupid negative thoughts.

Living in the moment is the key.

[Love'sReject]

As a matter of fact, yes, I have had a mentor IRL. A former friend.

[pcmaster]

What did he did for you and how it helped?

[Love'sReject]

Oh, it didn't help at all. I was completely in awe of his ability to get girls that I just assumed I shouldn't bother trying because I'd never be half as good as he.

[TwillightBrony]

yes, only to have a mentor is not enough. You have to be prepared also.

Yes I have heard of those guys too. They are very famous and admired.

[Love'sReject]

A mentor is a pretty damned good thing to have. First, the guy has to be truly willing to be helped. And then the mentor comes in, and bam! The poor sap can go on to get girls. It's nearly impossible to learn complex things without ostension (i.e., having others visibly demonstrate and point things out to you; it's how we learn language and many concepts). Therefore, it is almost completely necessary to have a mentor to get girls. Subconsciously, most guys who get girls have a few mentors who have left impressions on them.

For losers like me, it is completely vital to have a mentor. It's certifiably impossible, otherwise.

[pcmaster]

Some advice and encouragment is really all that some people needs. But mentor cant help depresed guy or someone who dont have friends, dont have a good personal hygiene etc. You have to be atractive as a human being.

[Rowen]

It's all bull anyway. If anyone has a mentor the way you described, they're clearly not going to get anywhere because their relationships won't last. And you know why? Because everything would have been built upon a false facade.

[Love'sReject]

Eventually the experience gained means the guy would come to depend upon himself. Thus, the mentor is extremely important and so is the advice; sure, it has limits. But like I said, inevitably the guy will be able to do it on his own and do it right.