To hold a man a woman has to appeal to the worst in him.

[serena]

How do you understand this concept? How should the woman be? What is the worst in a man?

The phrase was used by Oscar Wilde and F. S. Fitzgerald and maybe holds some truth in it.

Many thanks for your replies!

[pcmaster]

Have no idea to be honest. Can you put it in the context?

[serena]

Fitzgerald uses it in "This side of paradise". He is in love with Rosalind who rejects him because not rich enough. So in his reminescence of the lost love he goes:

“To hold a man a woman has to appeal to the worst in him.” This sentence was the thesis of most of his bad nights, of which he felt this was to be one. His mind had already started to play variations on the subject. Tireless passion, fierce jealousy, longing to possess and crush — these alone were left of all his love for Rosalind; these remained to him as payment for the loss of his youth — bitter calomel under the thin sugar of love’s exaltation. (text from the book)

So I was wondering whether he is right? And what does it practically mean? What is the ultimate quality in women that men like and come back for more?

[pcmaster]

I think whatever bad qualities your man have, you have to accept them.

In this case guy was poor. She wasnt ok with that and lost him.(Fcking bitch lol)

However man wants a women who stand by him not against him.

Just watched Karate kid(1984) and guy was poor and beaten up most of the movie lol but she still stick with him till the end until he won tournament.

[serena]

well, he had been in love other times, some of them really good girls. now, Rosalind was beautiful, superficial and evil. she knew the impact she had on men and she coldly rejected him after having made him fall in love with her. so, he was obsessed with her (as to in comparison with the other girls who nice and mild he easily left behind.) so my question is: will men stay if they are obsessed? does a woman have to intrigue a man to captivate him?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

It's a dangerous concept to live one's life by. Have fun.

[overanxious]

well, he had been in love other times, some of them really good girls. now, Rosalind was beautiful, superficial and evil. she knew the impact she had on men and she coldly rejected him after having made him fall in love with her. so, he was obsessed with her (as to in comparison with the other girls who nice and mild he easily left behind.) so my question is: will men stay if they are obsessed? does a woman have to intrigue a man to captivate him?

boy can i relate to that....

my ex turned into a monster after like 2 years....nothing i did was right....of course some of this had to do with my own behavior out of frustration that she couldnt be a responsible adult.....i used to treat her like a queen....expensive restaurants...money to go shopping....great trips....but i started to hold all of that back because i couldnt get what i wanted...and it seemed like the less fun i funded she became angry at every false move i made.....if i had been shown any kind of effort to move by the honeymoon stage and build a future it would have continued.....she was never able to see us as "one" even though she claimed she loved me more than i loved her....she would even talk about ideas for rehearsal dinners(there was no engagement) without being able to pay her cell phone bill on time......

[pcmaster]

The concept is Man needs a women who understands him and loves him a little. Women needs man who loves her a lot and understands a little.

[overanxious]

one of my good guy friends was struggling with his relationship of 1 year...he even moved in with me for a month before returning back to his girlfriends...but he often talked to me about how there seemed to be a lack of a spark or passion for him....he even noted how he at least had that with the mother of his child....

[overanxious]

The concept is Man needs a women who understands him and loves him a little. Women needs man who loves her a lot and understands a little.

theres also this quote "be a woman that a man needs...not a woman who needs a man"....my ex was the kind of "child" that needs a man....for support in every way...she also needs to be adored outwardly so that the outside world knows that she is worth something.....she would complain about how i never posted about her on fb or send loving messages about/ to her on fb...i said "i dont give a shit about fb ...everyone that knows us knows were together and i focus most of my time on you and ive moved to live near your family...isnt that enough"....but its never enough sometimes....

[VincenzoG91]

How do you understand this concept? How should the woman be? What is the worst in a man?

The phrase was used by Oscar Wilde and F. S. Fitzgerald and maybe holds some truth in it.

Many thanks for your replies!

Wilde was gay, and Fitzgerald was an alcoholic married to a crazy woman. I don't rely on their insights regarding women.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

The concept is Man needs a women who understands him and loves him a little. Women needs man who loves her a lot and understands a little.

I don't think that's what the quote is saying at all, but I do think it's accurate.

Wilde was gay, and Fitzgerald was an alcoholic married to a crazy woman. I don't rely on their insights regarding women.

I knew you'd have something good to say for this one.

[Starnique]

I have no idea who the hell these people are.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

They're literary figures and philosophers.

[Wakeup]

Wilde was gay, and Fitzgerald was an alcoholic married to a crazy woman. I don't rely on their insights regarding women.

That's some pretty bad schitzel right there for a girl to have to try and appeal to, knowwhatI'msayin.