how to get a career focused man to fall for you??

[2468]

Dear Members,

6 months ago, while I was travelling in another city (only an hr flight away from my own), I met a handsome man at a bar on the last night of my trip.
I looked at him, he came up to me, chatted, exchanged numbers, and eventually started kissing as the night progressed. Our kisses were very passionate, it was nothing I have never felt before. He invited me to his place, but since I have a plane to catch the next day and was staying at a friend's home, I didn't agree and told him I had to leave soon so I won't be a pest to my friend. It was hard leaving him, after more kisses i finally had the power to leave. He walked me out, watched that i got into a cab and kissed me good bye some more, again, passionate kisses, then I ran off like Cinderella. I was hooked on him since. (Not good I know...)

Because he is a very busy, ambitious young professional, climbing the corporate ladder fast, over the last 6 months, we only communicated 5 to 6 times at most. When we do talk, he would be running off to a meeting in a while, which makes the conversation really short.
The first month, about a week after I returned to my own city, he sent me a message on gmail chat. He asked about when I will be travelling to his city next and hope that I will make time for him and not run off again. Basically for the next few months, when we were in contact, it would be about when I will be coming and the heavy work load he is under. On Valentine's day, I sent him a text to wish him a Happy Vday and I wish that he was my Valentine. No reply. I ended going to his city during March, but unfortunately he had already planned a vacation in Europe the same time I was there (he had told be that in he beginning of feb). I have never heard from him since, until i saw him on gmail chat a week ago, I message him that I might be coming in May and he replied. The same old topics about his work and getting a sense of his schedule cuz he travel for work a lot. When I asked about his vacation, he said he rather tell me in person. I had mentioned he is one of the hardest person to reach, its like playing tag with him. I mentioned I didn't like tag when i was a young girl because I am slow. He said he is fast and hard to catch so i would have to use force and persuasion. I said because I am slow, I don't like to chase. I prefer to use the power of attraction, so perhaps you are not particularly attracted. He said he is attracted to my powers. I said thanks, and told him other than the fact that i find him utterly attractive, I both admire and impressed by his achievements. They said his thanks and went off to a meeting.

I actually do like that he is career focused. Unlike most women, I am independent and like my space. Even if I do have a boyfriend, I probably only have time to see him once a week at the very most as I am starting a small business and have a full life with family and friends, not to mention the very many networking events I try to attend. So the "together while away" long distance relationship is ideal for me.

Now, I see him on gmail chat everyday for the past week... but I am afraid to message him. He already knows how I feel about him... I don't know how to approach this... I don't know if he likes me any more than an "attraction". I don't want to seem like its always me initiating a conversation either... but at the same time, I don't want him to think I am not interested.... What should I do to help this situation?

Thank you for reading and for offering advices!

[basilandthyme]

2468, he's not that into you. He knows how you feel and has chosen to not reciprocate. And even if he was into you, it's unlikely he'd have the time to nurture a relationship.

The long distance is a problem too. Why would he want a girlfriend who he has to fly to see? If may be ideal for you, but it's not ideal for most. Also, if he's such a catch, I bet there are a dozen local girls who he could choose from.

When you meet, it's quite possible he will want to sleep with you - but please don't imagine that this means he wants a relationship with you.

Sorry I can't be more positive. My best advice is to let go of your crush and move on.

[Wakeup]

Yes its clear that what Basil says is whats happening here.

He'll screw you but he's not going to be your boyfriend. You seem like the obsessive type (even though you SAY you yourself don't have time for a boyfriend to be around all the time) I can see you becoming quite obsessed when he's too busy to screw you again and you'll be quite upset that he can't give you the time you feel he owes you because he took you to bed.

I suggest you forget his kisses and find someone who can give you more than his penis when it suits him.

BTW: With men like him, he'll have more interested in you if he thinks you're NOT interested. They don't want strings. They just want the sex without the attachments.

[IndiReloaded]

Another doomed LDR. Plus, he's not that into you. My SO is a really busy exec. Trust me, if he's into you, he will make time for you. It's that old saying: "if you want something done quickly, ask a really busy person".

You'll have to find someone else. Sorry.

[VincenzoG91]

It's obvious that this guy is already in a relationship.

[Wakeup]

^^^ yup, that thought crossed my mind too. "Running off to a meeting" may very well be his way of logging off quickly when wifey shows up behind him at his computer.

[Boisdevie]

Focussing on his career = not focussing on you = not interested in you.