How do I tell him that I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship right now?

[12084182]

Went out with a guy last week (after chatting for a bit, he asked if I'd like to meet up, then suggested coffee and we went. He suggested to go bowling today, and I said fine and then realized he thought we were on a date and this would be a more official date according to him, he was like 'for a first date I usually...')

I don't know how I feel about it. He's really cool, we have tons in common. But I'm just one of those people that prefers to get to know someone and then see where it goes, I'm very picky about who I date cause I want to know it's going to work out. and I'm just worried it's gonna be awkward at the end of the date if he tries to kiss me or just anything or senses I feel off about it. I don't know what to say to him. The first date, in the car when he drove me home, he hugged me and that's why I think he might try something more this time.

I do want to go in case it goes well and I feel better than last time, but I'm not sure I'm looking for a relationship right now and I don't know how to convey that to him.

As cool as he is and as much as we had in common and as much as he is my type, I didn't feel a spark and that made me go, if you're not feeling it, then don't go for it.

If I don't feel like it, by the end of the night, what should I do?

Do I need to give him a valid reason why I don't feel like it? I just don't want him to feel misled or something. When we met, I never said I was looking for a relationship. My profile online states that I'm just looking to make new friends since I'm kinda new to the area and want more people to hang with.

[LittleFox]

oh, 12084182, I so went through this situation not long ago, so maybe i can help.

There was a time in my life when i was thinking that i will meet new people and go on dates. Just like that to have fun.
I started to date this one guy.. we had so much fun, but when it came to kissing i totally didn't feel it! totally! and so I knew he was waiting for something although wasn't pushing for anything. Long story short, I blew him off because I did feel nothing close to sexual attraction after 5 dates.

What I am saying, it is very ok to say that you don't feel like kissing. Very ok. Because if it is good in general, he can wait. Maybe you will start to feel something more and then it will be totally different. If not.. don't push yourself.

For me, I met this other guy, who I said 'no' to, until i felt like I want to kiss him. It was perfect! And he did wait until I was ok, because it was totally worth it! Now we can't stop kissing, haha

So, dear, say ņo' as many times you want, because if who don't feel it, you are right. Take your time, ask for respect and understanding. Say you don't want to kiss, even if he might not like it. Just spend time together. It's normal.

best wishes

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You've only known the guy a week. Just tell him you're not interested anymore, and DO NOT offer to be his friend. Just say you don't think you two should hang out anymore. If you're completely gutless, tell him you're back with your ex or something like that. Don't give him any hope though.

[Rowen]

I don't know how I feel about it. He's really cool, we have tons in common. But I'm just one of those people that prefers to get to know someone and then see where it goes, I'm very picky about who I date cause I want to know it's going to work out.

Okay, let's start here... If you've been extremely picky in the past, let me ask you this: why haven't your past relationships worked out?

There are no guarantees in life, no matter how badly we'd like them to be. For all you know, you could be struck by lightning tomorrow. I could find a briefcase full of money and have to turn it over to the police as evidence. The future can't be predicted with 100% accuracy. So, why are you being overly picky about it? I'm not saying go out to a random bar and jump into a relationship with the first guy you see, but just be open to possibilities. In the end, the one you have the best connection with will win out. But you never know if the person you're rejecting could be that guy. So, be picky but not overly picky...

The first date, in the car when he drove me home, he hugged me and that's why I think he might try something more this time.

I do want to go in case it goes well and I feel better than last time, but I'm not sure I'm looking for a relationship right now and I don't know how to convey that to him.

Would it really be so bad if he kissed you? It's a date...not a marriage proposal.

If I were you, I'd give it one more date to be sure before I make a decision either way. Just walk into it with an open mind. Let whatever happens happen. But if he starts talking about the two of you going on more dates or something (in the meantime before you two go out again), drop hints by using the word "if" to imply that you're undecided yet and that things may not work out.

However, if you're dead set against going out again, be honest and tell him that you're not looking for a relationship right now.

[basilandthyme]

why would it be a bad thing if the two of you got on well and a relationship started? Serious question.

[Noruego]

Tell him. That simple really. He's not madly in love with you after a week, let him down gently and move on, he won't mind too much.

[Jacob E.]

Just say, "I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship right now. I want to get to know you better because you seem really nice" Say somthing and truthful like that and go through with it.