Maybe I'm just not a fun guy...

[basilandthyme]

Most of you people are married. Doesn't count. With that kinda bitchy attitude, makes me wonder if your marriage is suffering. Seems like you need to vent your frustration and someone so you pick me, basil. You've got issues, too, you know that? You're not so high and mighty.

Nah, you love it. If you didn't like it, you wouldn't keep drawing negative attention to yourself.

[HeartIsAching]

Yeah, I've got a slew of things coming up through meetup.com But I'm not sure that'll help much with girls; that's not going to teach me to send first, second and third messages or the art of the dreaded text conversation.

Actually, this is something I tried to tell you before - get involved with activities that you like... at those sorts of activities, you'll find women that like those things too... like a cycling club.

or rock climbing, or historical reenactments or surfing, or bird-watching or whatever you like to do. I met my wife at at a Renaissance Faire. Stopped and stared openly... then went and introduced myself.

[HeartIsAching]

Most of you people are married. Doesn't count.

Hey Supergenius - ever think about how we got that way?

She's not picking on you, she's pointing out to you over and over that the problem is your attitude.

[Wakeup]

That's the thing. Most of us have told him to do activities through meetmarketadventures or the other meetup site. Unfortunately LR, you are either too afraid to do any kind of work or you're just too damn lazy to do it. It's easier for you to fall back on old habits of self-deprecation and excuse. It's almost like you're relieved when things don't work out while being overly disappointed prematurely that they haven't worked out immediately. (sadly)

Out with instant gratification and in with doing the necessary work to get a goal met.

[Love'sReject]

Actually, this is something I tried to tell you before - get involved with activities that you like... at those sorts of activities, you'll find women that like those things too... like a cycling club.

or rock climbing, or historical reenactments or surfing, or bird-watching or whatever you like to do. I met my wife at at a Renaissance Faire. Stopped and stared openly... then went and introduced myself.

I realize that. Now I suppose like you're saying here it's possible I might strike up a conversation with a girl I meet at one of these events...Since I don't know how to flirt, all I ever find myself doing is being genuinely interested in what they're saying and so kinda treat girls like they're just one of the guys or just a regular person. What would you recommend to get out of that habit?

[Love'sReject]

That's the thing. Most of us have told him to do activities through meetmarketadventures or the other meetup site. Unfortunately LR, you are either too afraid to do any kind of work or you're just too damn lazy to do it. It's easier for you to fall back on old habits of self-deprecation and excuse. It's almost like you're relieved when things don't work out while being overly disappointed prematurely that they haven't. (sadly)

Actually, I've got at least 5-8 events the remainder of the month, so it isn't laziness although I could see why you would think that. Perhaps I forgot to mention it, but yes, I've got a full slate here through meetup.com. That's not even including the other trips and ventures I've got to make this month, including a place I have to go to for a course project.

[Wakeup]

Awesome news. I'm not even going to wish you good luck but I will tell you to just have fun and be open to meeting people (both men and women).

[Valixy]

Well, I think you're very good with words and your thinking is very original for someone so young. You're capable of sparkling communication and you can be very funny and entertaining. This is a greater plus than you think. Maybe you fail because you try to address to the girls following some pattern of communication that doesn't represent you and doesn't work very well anyway for most of the people. If you allowed yourself to express freely and without inhibitions, you would get their attention...Just be yourself, express your real thoughts that the moment, your mood and their profile inspire you! Typicality will never work for you, so maybe you shouldn't try it. There's a natural rare quality that comes from your thinking and communication that you should definitely explore when you contact girls. I think you're capable of surprising them without even trying and this is a great gift you have

[HeartIsAching]

I realize that. Now I suppose like you're saying here it's possible I might strike up a conversation with a girl I meet at one of these events...Since I don't know how to flirt, all I ever find myself doing is being genuinely interested in what they're saying and so kinda treat girls like they're just one of the guys or just a regular person. What would you recommend to get out of that habit?

Actually, being interested in what they've got to say is a very good start. Make relevant observations or inquiries so she knows that you're paying attention.

If you're interested in her at all, EVEN IF SHE'S NOT PARTICULARLY ATTRACTIVE*, tell her you'd like to talk to her more... suggest continuing it another time (or hell, right away if it's right) over coffee or whatever.

*The reason I say even if she's not particularly attractive is that sometimes attraction comes with knowing the person well... and if it doesn't, if you don't quite hit it off, sometimes they'll say "Hey, I've got this friend who'd totally go for you. I want to introduce you."

It's old-fashioned social networking, but it works.

[Kromat83]

LR, we've told you countless times to not treat a girl any different.

They might look different then the guys, but you can still talk about things that you say with your mates, to her.

Be more genuine, i think you have a hard time talking to them, because your trying to be someone your not, like " valixy " said.

I would love to see you on Skype through Webcam, we'd see how you actually are when talking to someone you haven't met yet.

Stop thinking like you're going to screw up, approach them, and just ask something that is on your mind that they haven't heard before, if they give you a smirk and touch a part of their body, get a little closer ... ask them questions that they would love to answer.

Your stuck too much in your unrealistic world of how you imagine things to be,
instead of just going with what is presented in front of you and just adopt.

If you just don't care of the outcomes and just do what feels right, you'll see how much better you'll be in life.

Why can't people realize, that girls are just like your friends, but with benefits.
That is why it's called a girlfriend, don't forget that.

P.S. Dancing has helped me open up to girls tremendously, give it a shot, and don't stop until you feel that it is working out for you, and can approach a girl to share a dance.

[Love'sReject]

When I treat them not differently, I still get no response.

[HeartIsAching]

Oh... and I've been resisting since I saw this thread... Forgive me.

Of course you're a fungi.

[Jacob E.]

Dude, stop being so shy. Just be your own self. Some girls like quiet but amazing guys.

[Love'sReject]

It isn't really shy. I literally don't have the mental pathways to talk to a girl; the words don't formulate properly in my mind in a way that a girl would understand and be interested in. It's like I don't have the aptitude for it. It's not even that I'm not an interesting person; my life is truly fascinating. But it doesn't help in any way whatsoever with girls; it doesn't help me text better or send a good first message. It doesn't send signals to my brain to go in for the kiss or hold a girl's hand. It just isn't there, for some reason..I once kinda had it. That was 5 years ago. Never been close since (except once, when I almost got a BJ).

[IndiReloaded]

LR. You are awesome, really and no BS. Saw your pic, btw. You are a real cutie. Maybe get some more hip (less bottle-sized) specs or contacts but you are a handsome, intelligent young man. Lots going for you.

Be wholehearted--do you understand my reference? A simple 'yes, mom' will do. If not, do your damned homework.