I wanna take my mind of her...:(

[DieselX]

So this is how it goes, i broke up with my girlfriend yesterday, after 2 weeks of break, it seemed that i need to break up, because she claims that she is confused about her feelings towards me.
My biggest issue is that i`m very...easily attaching to people, and for me, she was my angel even when we ware fighting. Now the thing is that i still love her extremely, but i also don`t want her back, because i`m afraid she`ll do the same in the future too.

Therefore my biggest question is HOW TO FORGET HER? because i`m having extremely big issues with forgetting people that i cared like crazy about.... but i just wanna get her out of my head, because it`s clear it will never work again, and i don`t know what to do, to forget her...

[pcmaster]

Eat, sleep and live more then you ever did. You will need friends too.
Im listening this song right now
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTs6a0ORdQU&list=LLsx6isKCu4vxjq1nsEMHFlA

[Ann S]

The question here is, why do you easily attach? Are you attaching to girls without really knowing them? This is an important question for you to answer. If you keep up this practice, you will probably have a challenging time with relationships because you don't give yourself time to sort out what is desirable and what is undesirable for you in a relationship; and you don't give yourself time to learn if the person you are infatuated with has more or less of the qualities you are looking for.

To get someone, "out of your head," requires mental focus:
1. Every time she pops into your thoughts, change the thought.
2. Don't frequent places where the two of you used to hang out.
3. Get rid of all the little gifts, notes, trinkets she gave you, if any.
4. Keep busy - go to the gym, read a good book, hang out with your buddies, learn how to cook, learn a new video game etc.

You can do this. Good Luck. Ann

[DieselX]

Yes, but the problem is that i am in a foreign country, without nobody, i am here mostly because of her, but it seems i did a mistake coming here, anyway, now i`m working here, so i won`t be leaving soon, and friends is quite hard to find, due to the fact that i don`t speak the language...

[Cerby]

The question here is, why do you easily attach? Are you attaching to girls without really knowing them? This is an important question for you to answer. If you keep up this practice, you will probably have a challenging time with relationships because you don't give yourself time to sort out what is desirable and what is undesirable for you in a relationship; and you don't give yourself time to learn if the person you are infatuated with has more or less of the qualities you are looking for.

To get someone, "out of your head," requires mental focus:
1. Every time she pops into your thoughts, change the thought.
2. Don't frequent places where the two of you used to hang out.
3. Get rid of all the little gifts, notes, trinkets she gave you, if any.
4. Keep busy - go to the gym, read a good book, hang out with your buddies, learn how to cook, learn a new video game etc.

You can do this. Good Luck. Ann

Number 3 and 4 especially, clean up anything that is hers or she gave to you and box it up, put it somewhere you can't easily get at it. (A porcelain chess set my ex gave me years ago is still in storage, I'd love to get it out now that I don't think about her, but it is so far beyond buried). And keeping busy is key, keeping your mind off of the negative thoughts at hand are incredibly important. The only other element is time, you simply need to give yourself time to get over it.

[overanxious]

it sucks man...my ex was just a total mind ****....you have no idea the stuff i went through(although nothing too horrible)....but just completely mind blowing in a sense....and i cant forget her either...i think about it daily....she was the first person i ever cared about/gave my heart too....i still see her in dreams frequently even if only briefly she still pops up.....the good parts are still stuck in my head as well as the bad parts.....she was still pretty loving/caring even in rough times....its tough man....she was gorgeous and could make anyone fall for her....

even immersing yourself in activities and stuff doesnt help sometimes...sometimes it gives you more time to think about it while you are doing things.....

I have framed anniversary things she gave me...it has all the ticket stubs and reminders of things we did from the years together....i have them buried away...i dont look at them but i havent been able to just toss them away

[DieselX]

Yes, i get extremely attached even to persons that i speak with for the first time, and i mean girls, if that girl is acting..like i like it, i get very attached, plus i guess i have the "white knight" syndrome as well, it`s...i don`t know, et`s even hard, because she left a ton of unanswered questions, and it feels extremely unbelievable that she doesn`t love me anymore...

Thank you...

[Ann S]

Foreign country or not, do some research about activities, look for a job back in your country, whatever that is. Yes, it seems like you made a mistake - just like we all do. The real mistake is not making it, but not correcting it once we realize it. Wishing you well. Ann

[DieselX]

yes man, that`s the same thing i`m talking about, i love her, i love even her bad parts, and moments when we fought, and i can`t...i just can`t forget her, and i know i`ll have a terrible time...
i don`t look at things from her, but i still can`t get her out of my mind, and all the questions without answer...

[overanxious]

Yes, i get extremely attached even to persons that i speak with for the first time, and i mean girls, if that girl is acting..like i like it, i get very attached, plus i guess i have the "white knight" syndrome as well, it`s...i don`t know, et`s even hard, because she left a ton of unanswered questions, and it feels extremely unbelievable that she doesn`t love me anymore...

Thank you...

ya i hear you...that feeling that she doesnt love you anymore sucks.....
my ex told me "i was slowly falling out of love with you...but i didnt want to....everytime you ______ it tore a piece of my heart".....______ was me threatning to leave because she wasnt really putting me/us first in an adult way....she wasnt working or taking care of even her own responsiblities and bills......she just lived in her childhood room(at age 26)....while i was living in her hometown paying rent to live a mile down the road(although i was over her parents house all the time and felt like a part of the fam)

but i did see a pic of her a few months ago(even tho she has a new bf...i know hes just feeding her need for supply...she needs another source of supply to show the outside world shes worth it and loved)....where she was wearing one of my old tee shirts that was her favorite....i like to think there is still some feeling of something...maybe even some love....even though well never be together

[Ann S]

DieselX - So is what you are saying is that you are needy, attach without discerning what you are attaching to, and that you are a recuer of those who you think need your help? This is a formula for a future of hurt and disillusionment. Time to get some therapy about your attachment issues. Also, if you see yourself as one who has to rescue women, this automatically puts you in an advice giving position which puts them in the dependent, ignorant role.....is this what you really want? Ann

[overanxious]

DieselX - So is what you are saying is that you are needy, attach without discerning what you are attaching to, and that you are a recuer of those who you think need your help? This is a formula for a future of hurt and disillusionment. Time to get some therapy about your attachment issues. Also, if you see yourself as one who has to rescue women, this automatically puts you in an advice giving position which puts them in the dependent, ignorant role.....is this what you really want? Ann

i was a bit needy to....in the fact that i wanted to feel loved and a part of something.....and thats why i stayed even though i had feelings something wasnt right with her....but i made concessions when i thought they would be good for the "relationship" and things still never changed

ive even tried dating....im a good looking guy and desired....but i still havent been able to really go there with other girls yet.....i dunno I just dont feel into right now...or maybe the girls im casually going on dates with just dont measure up

[overanxious]

Diesel...ill say this....things got really nasty and we arent fb friends..nor can we see each others pages.....and there is no contact

but once in awhile i check her twitter account which she uses real sparingly.....like once a month or every two or 3 months....

her last tweet was about a month ago...and it said "sad but true...." with a link to a pinterest card that said "no one ever gets tired of loving...they just get tired of waiting, apologizing, getting disappointed and being hurt"......and i wondered about that...what it meant....if she was having an issue with her new bf...or maybe she thought about us for a minute.....sometimes i wonder...at the very least i know she is still having bad/daerk days in her new relationship....her last 5 or so tweets are negative

its hard to let go...i thought my life was set...i had plans for us...and she had visions too....except i was just supposed to give her these visions without any kind of help or her being responsible in any way...we were together 2.5 years and sometimes i wonder how we made it that long

[DieselX]

i do have a job here, but even so all i do while working is to think at her and only at her, without being able to stop it...

[DieselX]

no, and i am aware since a long time ago that the more attention you give, the worse you are treated, but i just can`t figure a way to stop it.