I don't know if I've ever truly loved my wife (big long crisis story)

[ycse]

Sleep with a couple new girls and see how you feel. She's cheated on you, so you have a few free passes. If you don't feel bad about it, just keep doing it. It will keep you sane, so you can be a better father to your kid.

I actually feel bad thinking about that although I pretty much said that's what I want to do. Maybe it's all macho thoughts in my head? I wouldn't want to be disrespectful like that. I wonder if it's just a case of me wanting to sleep around as I feel I didn't get through my fair share before I got married.

I know the reality is that if I was single i'd probably struggle to get a girl as good looking as my wife is.

Maybe i'm a bit of a bottle job when it comes to commitment and the commitments I do make seem to be out of my control somewhat. I feel distanced like i'm watching my life from above and that I've never really made the commitment in my mind to be with her, it's kind of just rolled along.

I think i'm just being immature and need to be responsible.

[vashti]

I feel I didn't get through my fair share before I got married.

LOL! You act as though you were somehow entitled to assorted vaginas.

If your wife is attractive, there will be other men willing to step up and take your place. Maybe that will be best for her in the long run.

[ycse]

If your wife is attractive, there will be other men willing to step up and take your place. Maybe that will be best for her in the long run.

This is my thinking also. She could easily replace me with someone better, I don't doubt it. Someone who has stronger feelings for her than me.

But maybe my feelings are strong and I'm not in tune with them through lack of experience. With past girls I found myself being the needy one, with my wife its been the other way around, maybe if she'd have held back I'd be the soppy one in love.

[vashti]

Ya know, I don't like you. Men should be a rock. You are a dishrag.

[ycse]

Maybe you could elaborate why you say that? Not that I disagree, I feel pretty low about myself right now, can't believe i'm questioning my relationship when my wife is pregnant.

[pcmaster]

Its not your fault. You are from UK, every one is pussy there. Spend there 3 years and become soft too. Life is easy there but girls are nasty. Thats what makes you weak. You maybe lucky that your not together with british girl.

You are just confused now. Too many new things in your life. Turn to things that gives you strenght. God, support from relatives, gym, outdoors at seaside etc. Samaritans actualy can help in short term but counseling is better in longer term.

[searock]

Tell her the truth, stop being such a coward. Grow up!

[goodluckchuck]

Sometimes it takes loosing something good to know what you had. Until you explore, you will never know what's good out there.

[bcgirl]

The issue is that you've been brainwashed in all those movies and male locker room chats bout banging lots if girls and you want that because you are a horny boy in his 20's. reality is that if you let her go, you can really regret it. You state that your wife is more attractive than you. It's a dog eat dog world out there and who's to say you can do any better in the looks department with other girls? Are you rich or something which would make hot sluts wanna fu(k you? You can only dream about landing a hottie like your wife's hot friend but in reality the probability of you landing one and being content would be close to none. Perhaps if you gained more relationship experience when you were younger you would have learned to appreciate your wife more. Perhaps you needed more rejections from the 9/10 girls in your youth

[michelle23]

I cant believe im acually reading this garbage or responding to it but here goes:
My first thought was: your a narcissistic prick who has no empathy for others and incapable of real love.

My second thought:your an insecure loser who settled for second best coz deep down u thought u cudnt get the type of girl you really want and uv wasted her time waiting for something better to come along. No matter what you will never be happy, youll always think the grass is greener coz of your low self
-esteeem.

Your insecurity issues are also the reason you have a fat phobia and dont want kids coz u need your wife to look perfect to make u look good to the rest of the world.
Thats also the reason you wana bang other women to boost your fragile ego and make u feel more attractive or just to prove a point.

You obviously dot have any morals or integrity as you would have cheated "if the opportunity came up"

you have a lot of issues, you dont deserve your wife or kid and i seriously think you need a whole lot of therapy. You shouldnt be in a relationship.

Your too insecure, immature and selfish. You also have no emotional intelligence or inner strenght and your a time waster who takes the easy option. In a nutshell you are not husband material and you wont be until you get some counselling and get all your shit sorted out.

I hope ur wife leaves you. You need a serious reality check! Grow up.

Its time to put on your big boy pants and try to rectify all the destruction you have created. At least try to be a decent father. The kid didnt ask to be born into this mess and deserves a dad who can put him/her first regardless of what other crap you have going on

im not sure if you will step up but u cantry to prove me wrong if u wish.

[michelle23]

Id also like to add its quality over quantity and any real man nos that. Sure you can go and **** 100easy whores or you can choose one quality woman.

Choice a: pointless meaningless sex, a couple of kids with different women and a few stds

choice b: a good woman who loves u, there no matter what, emotional support, meaningful connection etc.

B: is prob too much hard work for some men tho.. Option a is easy which also makes it boring

[ycse]

My second thought:your an insecure loser who settled for second best coz deep down u thought u cudnt get the type of girl you really want and uv wasted her time waiting for something better to come along. No matter what you will never be happy, youll always think the grass is greener coz of your low self-esteeem.

Your probably right. I wonder if I can change my mindset.

[michelle23]

get counselling

[ycse]

I'm getting counselling on here with the character assassination i'm getting.

I've backed down from my initial thought of wanting to leave my wife, I want to stay with her, I know I just need to appreciate what I have. I have put some damage/strain on the relationship that won't be forgotten. She has asked me 1 question that has had me completely stumped. "Why was I depressed when her friend left?" - I can't answer it, I don't really know why. I desired her friend but it was a complete 1 way street, it's not like I had a chance. I also don't know her so it was all based on her looks rather than anything else.

[searock]

I'm getting counselling on here with the character assassination i'm getting.

I've backed down from my initial thought of wanting to leave my wife, I want to stay with her, I know I just need to appreciate what I have. I have put some damage/strain on the relationship that won't be forgotten. She has asked me 1 question that has had me completely stumped. "Why was I depressed when her friend left?" - I can't answer it, I don't really know why. I desired her friend but it was a complete 1 way street, it's not like I had a chance. I also don't know her so it was all based on her looks rather than anything else.

I can't believe this.

GET COUNSELING, seriously. You have some serious issues if you can't even understand why you are so unhappy - let alone do anything at all to change your situation.

Don't you realize that you are betraying your wife's trust every single day you stay with her without telling her about your doubts? How would you feel if somebody did to you what you are doing to her?

You are so deeply insecure that you base your self-worth on the amount of beautiful women you can get. You are too afraid to leave your wife because then you will have no excuse for when/if you won't get any beautiful woman. She is your life vest. You are using her as a human shield for your fragile ego, and by doing so you are wasting years of her life.

You need to learn and understand that the number of women a guy has been with has got NOTHING to do with the worthiness of that man. If you were able to get any woman you wanted, it still wouldn't make you a better man or a more virile man or whatever.

Find the guts to be honest with your wife. Tell her what you've written in this thread - perhaps make her read this thread, if you can't manage to talk to her face to face about this.

And seriously, get professional help. Do it for your unborn baby if nothing else.