The best relationship is when your lover is also your best friend.

[meloveulongtime]

Friendship is one of the most intimate relationships in which the human spirit requires to thrive. Whether the friendship is healthy or toxic, it is a connection that we as humans desire at some point in our lives. I can only speak for myself when I say that I treasure the few close friendships I’ve developed over the years. I can’t imagine not being able to pick up the phone to share the latest events going on in my life or just shooting the breeze with my girls. Nor can I imagine one of my girls not calling me to mull over a concern.

Although I have a strong connection with my sister-friends, it cannot compare to the friendship I have with my husband – the love of my life. For over twenty-three years he has been my biggest supporter, my rock, my best friend and my lover. Now don’t get me wrong. Our relationship did not start out as such. Getting married young and throwing babies into the mix made things at times a little challenging. However, my man and I hung in there and made it work. As the children got older, becoming more independent, it allowed us some very much needed “us time.” During our quiet time together we’d take long walks holding hands chattering about every and anything, cuddle on the sofa watching our favorite weekly shows or a DVD, shopping, or taking a last minute weekend getaway.

Honestly, it never really hit me that we were the best of friends until one day several years ago we were in our bedroom sitting on the bed talking. I can’t remember the details of the conversation. All I recall is that he said something that had us rolling on the bed hysterical with laughter. I can distinctly remember feeling at that moment our interaction felt more like a friendship and not a husband-wife moment. I’m happy to admit that those moments are shared quite frequently in our marriage. So yes, my lover is my best friend. -Victoria

[Rowen]

Your story is certainly nice, but this doesn't always work out for everyone. In some cases like me and my one best friend, even if he were gay, I don't even think of him in a way other than as family.

In some cases, it's just that they're so close it's like family. In others, it's possible.
All I'm really saying is that it depends on the people.

[Love'sReject]

The best relationship...has ME in it!

[meloveulongtime]

Yes not always but this thread was directed towards having a lover/partner/significant other who can also be a friend. The physical part (sex) can be exciting for so long especially if you have been married for 23 years why also being able to have them as a friend is vital for a lasting relationship so that they may continue to enjoy other things/events/hobbies together.

[Love'sReject]

Yeah, with that reiteration I can totally agree.

[meloveulongtime]

The best relationship...has ME in it!

Well she'll be a lucky girl.

[HeartIsAching]

It's that way with my wife and I. She's my best friend. Also my fantasy girl. Our relationship is very very comfortable...

But a lot of people have a hard time maintaining romantic feelings for someone that's their best friend, or so I've heard. Apparently it's difficult to not feel "brotherly/sisterly" towards them, so as Rowen says, not true for everyone.

[meloveulongtime]

It's an unconditional love difficult to defined but also phases that almost all long term relationships does encounter at some point in their relationship. Of course there is the physical attraction that separates your significant/lover/partner from your siblings but as the relationship grows, the sentimental value behind it after all is connection and friendship that creates the "intimate" relationship.

[goodluckchuck]

I'd probably have to agree. I've had a few relationships that were great at first (physical) but couldnt seem to find a connection or understanding. We had simple things in common but I guess she wasnt as open minded as I thought . I also found it hard to be myself and share my opinions. Tried but soon realized the relationship was only surf deep. From that experience, I concluded maybe it would work better next time if I met a girl as a friend and get to know her first before I get carried away and find out we have nothing in common.

[Rowen]

I don't think you're a real person, meloveulongtime. Or if you are, you've got some serious issues trying to cheat on your husband you're supposedly "so in love" with.

[HeartIsAching]

Gah... hadn't noticed that.

[fearoflove]

It is true that friendship is an important component in a relationship. This is something I learned as I dated more. This is why I prioritize being able to enjoy a conversation, humour, personality, and ability to get along as things to look for in a boyfriend. I have stopped dating/rejected someone even though he had the looks and success but personality just doesn't mesh well.

[meloveulongtime]

Please note this forum was an email I received from a girl friend recently hence -Victoria while I was in a hopeless relationship with a friend which was difficult for him and I to continue because our feelings soon came unclear.