I hate her as much as I love her

[Chip123]

I don't know why. I hate her now, we don't have sex, we don't kiss, there is zero intimacy, our conversations suck, she's always too busy to spend any time with me, unless its me helping her with work. She treats me like crap, I don't know what the hell i'm doing with her. But I don't want to dump her. I'm attached or something, I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm insecure now that for the past year and a half i feel unnattractive. She's not even that attractive herself, I'm pretty sure I could do better. I used to love her, loved talking to her, chilling with her, having sex with her, kissing her. Now if i try to kiss her passionately she just backs off. We've been togeather for 3 years now. It's been like this for a year. I need to get rid of her, what I can I do to ease out of it. I'm not attracted to her anymore but I don't know why I can't just pull the trigger and end the hell that is my relationship. I just keep thinking that maybe its a blip, or if I leave I'll never know if things get better. And the main thing is I just don't want to hurt her!

[Wakeup]

Look up the word "codependency" and read about yourself. Then, when you're finished with that topic, look up "fear of being alone" and for the cherry on the top of your educational sundae.. look up: "I'm a lazy ass who is too set in my ways to dump this girl."

[Chip123]

The problem is, she's really into me. She breaks down at the idea of us breaking when we have a big argument. I just can't hurt her

[Wakeup]

You be a dummy, then.

[bearz]

She can't be that into you if you can't even have a decent conversation. Not even going to mention all the other things you're missing that are usually part of a healthy relationship.

[Chip123]

I just read up on codependency and its unreal how many of those signs I connect with

[Wakeup]

Yes, well maybe you should think about seeing a therapist proficient in the dynamic and get the help you need to get the courage to leave this unhealthy situation you're addicted to. You can change yourself and your situation but you can't change her.

[michelle23]

Her waterworks are not real. Its bs so stop falling for it. Shes the female version of a player-a manipulative tease who has successfully wrapped you around her little finger, tells u what you want to hear and does the opposite each time and your the male doormat.

You need to put your foot down, tell her its over and tell her all the tears and words in the world are not gonna change that. You sre the only person who has the power to change your situation. You need to stop putting it off and just end it and dont do it in the middle of an argument-do it calmly face to face and never look back.

Get some help for yourself via counselling. Uv obviosly got issues coz u allowed her to treat you like a puppet while she pulled all the strings for 3years and you are a classic co-dependent

[basilandthyme]

She's NOT into you. Read your opening post - this is not the behaviour of someone who's into you.

[KeyKandiss13]

The answer to your question is honesty. if you cant be honest with yourself you cant with her either tell her how you feel this relationship has spoiled bad. smh

[Rowen]

Buddy, you're just settling for the love you feel you deserve. You need to realize that you deserve so much better. And you WILL FIND BETTER... Dump her and don't stop believing that true love is out there.

[HeartIsAching]

The problem is, she's really into me. She breaks down at the idea of us breaking when we have a big argument. I just can't hurt her

No she isn't. She's just comfortable and gives you just enough attention to keep you around when you make like you're going to break free.

Which you need to do. Don't "ease out of it", make a clean, sharp break.

[Nicki XoXo]

You all are constantly encouraging someone to break things off with someone. You only know half the story, his half. Maybe he's the probem. He loves her, Im sure he is staying around for a reason.

[bearz]

You all are constantly encouraging someone to break things off with someone. You only know half the story, his half. Maybe he's the probem. He loves her, Im sure he is staying around for a reason.

His behavior is the reason why he is still stuck in this non-functional relationship. So yes, that's all n him. Obviously there are two parties involved, but he is the one looking for help right now and we can only go by what he is telling us.

[HeartIsAching]

You all are constantly encouraging someone to break things off with someone. You only know half the story, his half. Maybe he's the probem. He loves her, Im sure he is staying around for a reason.

That's the clarity of vision granted by time and experience.