Is this controlling or normal?

[Pixie01]

My ex liked to have his own way on everything and tried to control me until i kicked him out. The problem is that we go to college together in the same class. In the past when we broke up (I broke up with him before but he cried and talked his way back in) he came to class distraught and hardly spoke or looked at anyone. It was so obvious that he was totally heartbroken over me. However I broke up with him for the final time and anytime he tries to talk to me, I am mean so he leaves me alone. He seems to accept that it is over as of very recently and I won't consider having him back and now doesn't appear upset at all. He talks and laughs and to everyone and just pretends I am not there. Before he acted SO distraught over losing me and now that he knows he doesn't have a chance he is acting like he is not bothered at all. Is this normal or was his previous obvious heartbreak just more control to get me back....

[HeartIsAching]

His previous behavior was manipulative, designed to get you back. Now that it's not working, he's given it up.

[smackie9]

It was just an act sista. Good for you for making that step to getting out of a crap relationship. Stay away from guys like him, you can't change them.

[KeyKandiss13]

Of course it was control to get you back. because if he really loved you and wanted to be with you then it would've been that easy. and its obvious that he is over you and is trying to move on. so don't take it the wrong way but this guy may have been one of your lessons in your life.

[Wakeup]

alone. He seems to accept that it is over as of very recently and I won't consider having him back and now doesn't appear upset at all. He talks and laughs and to everyone and just pretends I am not there.

Without being in his head it's impossible to say "of course" he was trying to get you back. Thing is, who gives a crap what he's thinking or trying to accomplish? You shouldn't, that's for sure.

Maybe try to consider that he's not showing you he's hurt so now you can stop feeling guilty and be thankful that he's moved on because that is the ultimate goal for BOTH of you to accomplish.

[Pixie01]

As long as he leaves me alone now I am happy. I am happier without him. His inconsistent behavior confuses me. So glad he is finally accepting that I dont want him

[Pixie01]

I just ask because I still feel the need for validation somehow.... He says it is my fault and I lool for affirmation

[Wakeup]

Just stop paying so much attention to HIS inconsistent behaviour, Pixie. As long as you keep wondering what he's up to or whats going on in that narcissistic brain of his, he IS indeed, to some extent controlling you. Do you see?

[basilandthyme]

I'm not going to say that his previous behaviour was definitely an act. He could well have been upset about losing you. This time, he probably just doesn't care about it.

[Pixie01]

Looking back I just can't believe how much he manipulated me. I guess that is why this is bothering me. I got taken good and in debt because of him. i believed his convincing words and thought if he could see how he made me feel that he would stop. As soon as I realized that he would not ever stop , I left. This bothers me now because I wonder if I prolinges the relationship because he convinced me he was heartbroken when he wasn't. I feel like a fool...

[Wakeup]

You need to forgive yourself then. Seems you can't blame him for duping you, so if you must blame yourself then fine, do so but you've done the blaming on you long enough, and it's time to forgive yourself, get things back in order and stay away from him and thoughts of him (as much as possible since you have classes together) and just get on with your life.

Time to stop being hard on yourself. You ended it when it was clear to you that things weren't ever going to change. That's something to be proud of and to focus on.

[Pixie01]

Thanks Wakeup. That is spot on

[amy37]

I think he is totally faking it now and putting on a face that he isn't distraught about the current break-up. Seeing that he cried in the past, and his tears were real, that's what makes me believe this current situation is fake.

Go easy on him Pixie01, he may seem ok, but he's hurting inside.