Should I tell her how I feel

[gaza711]

Hey guys just joined up, I dont know where else to turn! I've been working in my new job for about a year now. Almost six months ago a girl who I never met returned to work after a year out on maternity. She was assigned to the same role as me in work (its a two person job) and we worked together in a close environment for the last six months and got on great. I often catch her glancing at me and she is always playfully hitting me. Basically I know when a girl has feelings for me and I'm 99% certain she fancies me and loves working with me as whenever I'm assigned to other departments for a couple of days she tells me she misses me and finds it hard to work when I'm not there.

However, I recently started collecting her and dropping her home from work (she as car problems) and we get on great talk and smile and flirt a lot (I wanted to pull in and kiss her every mile). But, last monday 11th March, she was told she is being transferred to another branch of our company 30miles away.I could see the pain in her eyes when she hugged me and told me,she looked so sad which was about 50% of how gutted I felt.Since then I have been not functioning at work have been moody, getting in trouble, not eating, sleeping properly and I'm back smoking.

Whats the problem, tell her how you feel, surely? Well she is married with 2 kids shes 31 im 26.What should I do, I need help its eating me up I will never spend time with her again.

[pcmaster]

If shes away now then dont tell her its too late, you gona confuse her even more. The best time when to express your feelings is when the person actually still is in your life. Besides where is quarntee that you could be just another affair.

Shes everything to you but to her you are just a part of life since she have a real life already(family). You was lonely.

[michelle23]

She is married with two young children-leave her alone.

Forget her and go and find someone single for yourself. Its wrong to go after a married person and the fact that she has kids would just make it even worse.

[FlaCooln]

Michelle is right...move on, she is married. It's a good thing she is transferred.

[bearz]

You definitely don't want to get involved with her marriage, no matter what state it is in right now. Her getting transferred is the best thing that could have happened to you. It will make it a lot easier to get over her.

[gaza711]

Thanks for the advice but its all stuff i have already contemplated i.e marriage wrecking, kids, transfer being for the best in the long run..I understand there is way more for her to lose than me..We have a night out in a few weeks with work so I might just wait till then and see how I feel..We are both on a week off this week, she starts new office monday next..Should I text her to ask how she is enjoying hols/missing me or just wait till the night out..I cant just leave it unfinished

[michelle23]

omg some people....

What part of she is married with two young children do you not understand? She just got back from maternity leave for ****s sake! She will never leave her husband for you. Its a daydream and a fantasy so do yourself and her a favor-and leave her alone.

She chose to marry him and start a family with him. She loves him. Why would you want to wreck her marriage and her whole life?? Even if you manage to get a drunken kiss off her-she will regret it and have marital problems because of it for the next ten years. It will make her, her husband and their kids unhappy!!

Just stop it. Don't even go to the work party. You are playing with fire. Marriages would survive a lot longer if there was no people like you in this ****ed up world.

Why cant you find a woman of your own who isn't taken? Billions of people in the world and you want one who has already started her life with someone else. Are you happy to be second best or number two?

Im probably wasting my breath here coz people like you never learn

[pcmaster]

Better dont text but talk stright to her when you see her. Logicaly you should forget her, but emotionaly its not possible. I understand you want to make it clear once and for all. its much better to have a feeling that you did everything thats in your power and lost(lose like a winner). Rather than think for the rest of your life - what if I told her?(giving up before even losing)

In first case you stay with self respect cause you know it wasnt your fault that it didnt work out, cause you did everything you can. In second case you threated yourself like worthless shit who dont even deserve to express his feelings.

[gaza711]

PCmaster thats exactly it..I do not want to spend the next few months knowing I done nothing...AGAIN..i know the feelings will fade in time and I will move on but just for once I might be happy with myself that I let her know..we had a great connection which she has admitted..I doubt she will leave her husband for me in fact I'm not asking her too I just want her part of my life and see what could happen..she has given me all the signs she wants something to happen.. Michelle I'm not a bad person in fact I think by repeatedly doing the right thing I find myself in this position..I just fell for someone I connected with and miss being around her

[michelle23]

I didnt say your a bad person but you are about the do a bad thing. and karma is a bitch. Wait till your married with two babies and some ass starts trying to steal your wife. see how you like it..