to all men and women . does size matter?

[bedhead666]

i guess men do have this in their head.My lady has had 2 or 3 past sexual relations. so when we make love , i always get this in my head , stuffs like "what if she had bigger ones in her n if she is satisfied or not " and all other thoughts.
please shed some lights .
im new to all this relation and love things. so i really need guidance and advice because i dont want to lose her .
thank you in advance

[michelle23]

if shes having sex with you then the answer is no-it doesnt matter.

[michelle23]

and many women are not fully satisfied through intercourse alone. you need to communicate with her, ask her what she likes. make sure there is plenty of foreplay and you will prob have to make her orgasm either before or after sex. use your hand or your tongue. and stop panicking and thinking about her past. focus on now and enjoy it.

[bedhead666]

firstly thanks for the fast reply.
she doesn't like foreplay. she also prefers to cover her body while we have sex. she says she feels shy but i find it weird.having had past relations and yet not foreplay or finger herself makes me question if shes lying or saying the truth.

and many women are not fully satisfied through intercourse alone. you need to communicate with her, ask her what she likes. make sure there is plenty of foreplay and you will prob have to make her orgasm either before or after sex. use your hand or your tongue. and stop panicking and thinking about her past. focus on now and enjoy it.

[pcmaster]

Yes it matters. However the most sensitive organ in sex are brains.

[searock]

Vaginas are structured in such a way that they can adapt to any size... so no, size doesn't matter. What matters is intimacy and complicity between the two of you, foreplay begins outside the bedroom. Foreplay inside the bedroom is also important ;-).

Stop obsessing over her past, that's creepy and it can lead to nothing good. She is with YOU now.

[michelle23]

try to compliment her regularly if she is reserved and shy. try to make her feel safe, relaxed, comfortable. be gentle in bed and hopefully yol get her to open up more to you sexually soon.

shes prob just tense ad nervous. focus on building trust and making her feel special.

[bedhead666]

the thing that doesnt get me is if she is shy and reserved then how did she end up having past relations and the things she did were pretty graphic . is she lying or.. hard to understand .

try to compliment her regularly if she is reserved and shy. try to make her feel safe, relaxed, comfortable. be gentle in bed and hopefully yol get her to open up more to you sexually soon.

shes prob just tense ad nervous. focus on building trust and making her feel special.

[searock]

I don't think she's lying, she probably just doesn't feel comfortable around you. Maybe she feels that you would judge her if she did certain things with you (she would be right in that case, wouldn't she?). As I said, what matters is intimacy and complicity between the two of you. She probably feels unsafe for some reason, with you.

[michelle23]

Her past relations were probably mistakes. They could have been bad experiences that she now regrets. Try not to judge her or think badly of her because of her past. She sounds inexperienced. And many women need some gentle TLC in order to open up sexually. Even many experienced women take time to feel "safe" before blossoming with a new partner.

Sex can make a woman feel vulnerable, exposed and insecure. Many women see sex as a very personal act of showing you care for each other so you need to be patient. Focus on making it about her. Try to make her feel relaxed and comfortable. Be gentle and when she tries to cover up her body-tell her shes perfect but respect the fact that she doesn't want you to see her for now. Tell her you want her to enjoy it as much as you do and ask her what she feels comfortable doing when it comes to foreplay.

Just gently and slowly kissing her neck, her breasts and her stomach will turn her on.

And many women do not know that they need foreplay either until they are actually having regular sex so it may take some time for her to understand that but just do it anyway in the meantime to warm her up.

If you put in the time now to make sex good for her-you will be rewarded for that 100% when she starts to relax. You'll notice a change in her some day. When she starts walking around naked in front of you-that means you have succeeded and should pat yourself on the back

[Rowen]

I agree with Michelle. If she wouldn't be having sex with you, then it would obviously matter.

Nevertheless, to me, size does not matter. I've had sex with a guy who had 7 inches to him, and my last ex had 5 inches. It's not about the size but the way the guy is in bed. Either he can be a log and just expect you to do all the work, or he can make it fun and put in effort to show you he's into it. Some guys who had well endowed have been horrible in bed just because they lay there. And some guys who have smaller packages have turned out to be the best simply because they know how to please.

Either way, if she's dating you, nine times out of ten, it's not just because of your penis. There's more to a relationship than having sex. Sex is just icing on the cake.

[bedhead666]

what worries me most is she says sex is important in a relation. i did tell her that she should not think sex so important but give more importance to the person and the relation. what matters is love, sex and other things will follow on its own. i told her she gave importance to sex before and it all turned out as her being cheated by her exes. she still doesnt get it.
since i had to shift my office to a different country, we r now on a LDR. i do trust and love her alot . she is the person i want to marry soon but her view on sex sometimes gets me worried.i get insecure that when we have quarrels sometimes , she could just have sex behind my back .she is a very beautiful woman and i do know she had a lot of proposal before (around 15 guys ,thats what she said) please help me more. this is my first and last relation i ever want to have so i dont want to lose her . help me make a wise decision .thanks rowen

I agree with Michelle. If she wouldn't be having sex with you, then it would obviously matter.

Nevertheless, to me, size does not matter. I've had sex with a guy who had 7 inches to him, and my last ex had 5 inches. It's not about the size but the way the guy is in bed. Either he can be a log and just expect you to do all the work, or he can make it fun and put in effort to show you he's into it. Some guys who had well endowed have been horrible in bed just because they lay there. And some guys who have smaller packages have turned out to be the best simply because they know how to please.

Either way, if she's dating you, nine times out of ten, it's not just because of your penis. There's more to a relationship than having sex. Sex is just icing on the cake.

[Cerby]

what worries me most is she says sex is important in a relation. i did tell her that she should not think sex so important but give more importance to the person and the relation. what matters is love, sex and other things will follow on its own. i told her she gave importance to sex before and it all turned out as her being cheated by her exes. she still doesnt get it.
since i had to shift my office to a different country, we r now on a LDR. i do trust and love her alot . she is the person i want to marry soon but her view on sex sometimes gets me worried.i get insecure that when we have quarrels sometimes , she could just have sex behind my back .she is a very beautiful woman and i do know she had a lot of proposal before (around 15 guys ,thats what she said) please help me more. this is my first and last relation i ever want to have so i dont want to lose her . help me make a wise decision .thanks rowen

It is clear you want someone who believes the same about sex as you, and she doesn't. You can continue to try to change her, or you can stop being insecure and start working towards a decent relationship. You're fixated on something that doesn't matter - your size, and you're focused on this because you have little to no relationship experience to determine that this doesn't matter. If she is with you, she is with you, and you need to stop lecturing her on what matters, because you're word/belief is not superior to hers, so telling her what to believe/think is just manipulation on your part.

[bedhead666]

the fact that you are "non-monogamous" says it all
so sir kindly please don't advice me. thanks alot though.

It is clear you want someone who believes the same about sex as you, and she doesn't. You can continue to try to change her, or you can stop being insecure and start working towards a decent relationship. You're fixated on something that doesn't matter - your size, and you're focused on this because you have little to no relationship experience to determine that this doesn't matter. If she is with you, she is with you, and you need to stop lecturing her on what matters, because you're word/belief is not superior to hers, so telling her what to believe/think is just manipulation on your part.

[michelle23]

i think he has a point. maybe you and she are not compatable. and she said she wants to have flings and marry a rich man.

that sounds like she is shallow and materialistic and uses her looks to get what she wants. i respect and admire your integrity but sometimes settling for the firdt girl is a bad idea. she could potentially rip your heart out.

i no she said she has changed but you cant just do a complete 180 on what you want overnight. she could just be telling you what you want to hear.

i yhink you should explore sex and love with someone on the same psge as you and you are so cinfused by this girl. id take that as a red flag