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Thread: Co-worker issue.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
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    Co-worker issue.

    Hello everyone, Im in need of advice, as I find myself in a predicament.
    Im going to do my best to make this thread concise, so you guys can give me valuable insight and advice.
    I have been working at this retail store for 10 months, and I am attracted to my female co worker. She had a boyfriend of 5 years, so I did not try pursue her or date her. Didnt even exchanged numbers till the 6th month I was working there. And that was her idea.

    We do have some great/humorous back and forth banter, and our chemistry is good. I would also catch her checking me out from time to time. But like I said, i did not make a direct/obvious romantic approach to her because of the bf.

    Anyway, her boyfriend broke up with her, the day after christmas. As soon as I caught wind of that information, I quickly planned to ask her out on a date. On our next shift, which was 9 days after her break-up, I asked her if I could buy her dinner.

    And her exact words were "I dont want anybody right now, It was a 5 year relationship, its hard". I was sour, for being rejected (Is that even considered, rejection? IMO its a very vague answer but anything but a yes, is a rejection, no?). But I made sure, I didnt pout in front of her, or anyone for that matter. It's just not the right/classy thing to do.

    5 days pass, and a guy friend of hers visits her at work, I got a little irritated. So much of her saying "I dont want anyone right now". I assumed she wasnt entertaining anyone's advances at the time. Maybe things change in 5 days? But she aint my girl, and Im not about to pout and be that "guy" at the workplace. So i kept a positive facade and talked to other women. I asked another woman out on a date, a week after getting rejected and she said yes. (This other woman, I have known for several months but not majorly interested in her). Next weekend rolled in, co worker saw me dressed nicely. Asked whats the occasion, told her I had a date. Did not pay attention to her reaction, as I was excited on my date that night.

    Fast forward to the present, March.

    The guy that visited my co worker, became her boyfriend 2 weeks after rejecting me (early Jan). But she broke up with him recently. which made their relationship a 1 month affair (Mid Jan-Mid Feb).

    I am currently 6 dates in with the other woman, and we enjoy each others company. I treat her nice and with respect, she laughs at my corny jokes. But she isnt my girlfriend. Neither was she apprehensive about me suggesting we should take it slow. Its my co worker who runs through my mind.

    My co-worker is now friendlier to me, since breaking up with that other guy. And twice now, asked me about my lady friend. She usually texts me funny pics, memes, or our inside jokes. I keep my replies to a bare minimum, to exhibit some self control, cuz im sprung..if I say so myself.
    Should I ask her out on a date again? Im hesitant because she did reject me initially, 1 1/2 months ago. AND she went into a relationship with someone (albeit briefly), when she clearly told me something different months ago ("I dont want anyone right now"). I should be happy with what I have right now, but Im not.

    On the other hand she is still hanging out with her ex boyfriend (of 5 years, not the recent one). She considers him, her best friend. She had said on multiple occasions that they are not dating, just hanging out. IMO, thats a big red flag, because broken up is broken up. What should I do?

    Tell me how it is. Thank you.
    Last edited by Tiggz; 08-03-13 at 05:54 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    Personally, I think the girl is too much drama. It depends how strongly you feel about her. If you aren't totally in love with her, I would just look for someone else.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
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    Forget her. She wont be resdy for a relationship for at least a year. 5years is a long time-it will take time for her to get over him. I think your just selling for the other girl-you will hurt her badly.

    Stop dating her, get your co-worker outa ur head and grow up before meeting someone else.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    I don't think she is interested in you, at least not as dating material. For one thing, she didn't pick you to be the rebound guy. Many people have a personal policy against dating co-workers. She might just enjoy your company now because she knows that you have a girlfriend so you are unlikely to hitting on her. Also, it's entirely possible that she is not just hanging out with the ex but hoping to get back together with him.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

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