What is going on with my feelings?

[stooges]

I started dating someone about a month and a half ago. He's a really great guy and I've been really happy.. until a few days ago.

This relationship is totally different from any other I've had, in that I knew him casually for a year before we ever hung out and I never in a million years expected we'd become anything. He's not "my type" per se, we're way different, and there are some other factors that made me not consider him an option (there's an age gap and he has kids - I don't). But things just sort of happened one day and they grew from there, I was really freaked out and unsure in the beginning but I fell for him anyway and every reason I had to fight it melted away (we have great conversations, I get along with his kids, we fit in with each other's friends, etc). He's been amazing, I've never been with someone who treated me like he does. It seemed special because my feelings were very natural and unforced, and I liked him solely for who he was as opposed to being attracted to a "type".

So a few days ago we were hanging out and I started feeling weird. Reassessing everything and looking at him and questioning my feelings all of the sudden. Nothing really even happened to trigger it. It felt kind of like anxiety acting up, and I figured it would go away by morning as usual, but it didn't. The idea of breaking up with him keeps popping into my head and I don't know why, because it sounds awful, I don't want to hurt him and I think I would miss him, I already feel involved in his life. I don't know what's wrong with me. I keep hoping it'll just go away but it hasn't yet. I barely feel attracted to him, I barely feel anything at all when we're together. I've tried not to let on that I feel this way so far because it seems so irrational but it's getting harder to act. All I want is to see him and everything to feel normal again, but it's almost getting worse. I have NEVER had this happen before. I'm so confused, what could be going on?

[Woods]

You say you feel involved in his life, get on with his kids etc, but you've only been together a month and a half. Maybe you're both moving too fast and you're freaking out. I'd say slow things down and see how it goes. There's nothing wrong with taking time to see if you actually want to be with someone.

[michelle23]

This is your gut telling you to get out now.

[Wakeup]

I've never been with someone who treated me like he does.

How did the other's treat you?

[stooges]

How did the other's treat you?

They treated me well (with one exception), respectfully and all, just didn't quite make me feel appreciated and special to the extent that he does.

[Wakeup]

So., why do you think being treated so well, with respect to the point that he makes you feel special is a reason to run? Whats really making you afraid do you think? We can't tell you, but the answer is in you if you look within and do some personal reflection.

Do you have a history of having anxiety attacks in general?

[stooges]

You say you feel involved in his life, get on with his kids etc, but you've only been together a month and a half. Maybe you're both moving too fast and you're freaking out. I'd say slow things down and see how it goes. There's nothing wrong with taking time to see if you actually want to be with someone.

Yeah, you're right on that, I actually was worrying a little bit (before this went down) that things were going too fast. Everything that had happened I'd felt comfortable with, like I was eager to spend 100% of the time that I did with him and his kids, but it did start to worry me a little bit. It's just weird that suddenly attraction is factoring into it as well, that certainly wasn't a problem before.

[stooges]

So., why do you think being treated so well, with respect to the point that he makes you feel special is a reason to run? Whats really making you afraid do you think? We can't tell you, but the answer is in you if you look within and do some personal reflection.

Do you have a history of having anxiety attacks in general?

I can't thank you on the post for some reason so I will here. Good answer, and I don't really know... maybe I feel trapped somehow? Considering how much he seems to like me, and how fast things have gone, I'm scared to hurt him? There's more to it than that, and I don't know what, but I'll think about it.

And no, not like chronic anxiety, but I get it mildly sometimes. Certain things can trigger it, and it would make sense for me to have been anxious on that particular night, but not since then.

[Wakeup]

I'm not sure who you can't thank enough, stooges (woods or me?) but I'll suggest that while you're thinking, take sometime away maybe. You don't have to announce it to him, just make some date to hang with your gurls, grab a glass of wine with them, go out and have some fun. Maybe you're just scared that you've fallen for him and You don't want to get hurt?

FWIW.. I think that most (all?) of us get a little scared when we realize how deeply we've trusted someone with our heart. He's good to you and you've been happy thus far with him so feel safe. Just give yourself a bit of time to miss him/appreciate him again.

[stooges]

I'm not sure who you can't thank enough, stooges (woods or me?) but I'll suggest that while you're thinking, take sometime away maybe. You don't have to announce it to him, just make some date to hang with your gurls, grab a glass of wine with them, go out and have some fun. Maybe you're just scared that you've fallen for him and You don't want to get hurt?

FWIW.. I think that most (all?) of us get a little scared when we realize how deeply we've trusted someone with our heart. He's good to you and you've been happy thus far with him so feel safe. Just give yourself a bit of time to miss him/appreciate him again.

I meant you (the 'thank' button wasn't an option on your post is what I was saying ), and I hope you're right. I've questioned this relationship before, like in the beginning, and I had that fear you're talking about but it never made me feel like he was undesirable at all. Now things he does that I used to find endearing I suddenly find a little off-putting. Hopefully it's just a weird thing I'm going through that will pass with time (especially time apart).

[Wakeup]

Well, I wish you luck. He sounds like a good guy. Have a glass of red for me.

[coconutz]

You are going 2 FAST.both of you.you barely know eachother. And you say you was freaked out first and a lot of other thing that makes me think that it was not a match for real from day one but you just convence yourself to go for it.
So I think the first signals you get from the start are warning signs.it can be somethinghesay or do or someth you have a strong feeling about.
you can face it and breakup or avoid it wasting time till thing gets bad and you
Breakup anyway.so you have the easy short way and the hard long way.
Some tips:dont jump into things just cause of feelings.use your mind.
Be freinds first.and not lover first.you need to get to know the person at a certain level before you trust them with your heart.right.?
You cant give your heart away and then start knowing who you giveth 2.

[coconutz]

The start should be a real honeymoon petiod.if it start with you being freaked out etc. There is something to worry. About. And often people get attacted to especially someone that make them feel less. Of what they are feeling bad about. And cause they make them call down in a certain way.or feel save etc.

[IndiReloaded]

Maybe you're just scared that you've fallen for him and You don't want to get hurt?

FWIW.. I think that most (all?) of us get a little scared when we realize how deeply we've trusted someone with our heart. He's good to you and you've been happy thus far with him so feel safe. Just give yourself a bit of time to miss him/appreciate him again.

This^. Good comment.