Confussed by my married man 'friend'.

[Kimberley123]

I've met a married man through an online dating site. We chatted for about a month before he told me he was married and was actively looking to have an affair. He doesn't want to leave is wife and I understand that. We met once and it went well. I am sympathetic to his situation and he says it's great that I 'get it'. He emailed me every day and text when he could. We're very close and talk about anything and everything. There is a level of trust in place, although I'm not naive enough to ever fully trust him. He was very keen to have a relationship with me until I showed too much interest and he though I was asking too much of him. I don't think I was. After that he now says that he feels genuine affection for me and doesn't want to hurt me, but he doesn't feel strongly enough to have a romantic relationship with me. He keeps in touch and apologises when he hasn't emailed for a few days. He also says he still wants to meet up for a drink/chat "when the opportunity allows". He still goes on dating sites and chats to other women, but he's been doing that for a couple of years anyway. He said I was the first woman he'd met from a dating site outside of his marriage. I just don't know what his game is and I'm confused because I doubt his reasons for wanting to keep in touch as a friend. Am I being used? We really are 'close' in that we talk openly about everything like friends do, and we both enjoy our friendship. I'm happy with things that way but I don't want to be used. Any advice/oppinions/ideas? Thanks.

[MaidenMinx]

You don't want opinions from here. They won't be very sympathetic. Playing with a married man is a stupid and selfish idea.

[coconutz]

agree with the first post.
beside you know the answer so why are you asking?

messing with MM is for shore that you want to be use.

he dont care when he is done with you he will go back to his wife.
and there you go. crying and asking for other advices on broken heart and affair

[michelle23]

Your in the wrong place if you want sympathy or even advice. The only advice you will get here is to stay the **** away from married men!

[bearz]

The only advice you will get here is to stay the **** away from married men!

This is all that needs to be said.

[rob1984]

you should actually tell this MM, that he is a scumbag and should get hit my a bus, not killed thou.. very close to it so he can feel it. You on the other hand are probably naive do not know better.. so maybe a taxi for you and not a bus.

[Kimberley123]

The last thing I expected was sympathy, and of course I don't deserve any (although I think being told to go and get hit by a bus/taxi is a bit harsh!), I just wanted some advice and some other opinions. We can't grow as people if we're shut down. It's funny how it's always the other woman who is made out to be the worst person involved. Sometimes people do silly things, even adults, that's life. Doing a 'bad' thing doesn't make you a bad person. Thanks to everyone for the comments, but it's a shame you're all so childish.

[michelle23]

We are not being childish.We just know the pain that people like you and him cause. We are here to offer good advice and that is the best advice you got-to stay away from him.
Nobody said that you-the other woman is the worst person involved. He is obviously worse than you are as he is married but as soon as you found that out-you should have had enough sense to cut all contact with him.

Why cant you find your own man? It just makes you look desperate sweetheart..

[rob1984]

i was harsher on him, thats why I said Bus and taxi for you.. people like you and him.. have no regards for anyone but yourselves.. so personally you should be hit by a bus as well

[michelle23]

Lol im glad we agree on something for a change rob

[rob1984]

lol ya.. plus not like she came on here with some remorse.. she made it about her self.. if she is being used. Of course you are.. he's married.. not leaving him wife, its just not enough for that moron.. so he finds morons like OP

[michelle23]

Lol some people... Cant find their own SO. If it wasnt so wrong it might be sad. Pathetic..

[IndiReloaded]

You hold your own honour and self-respect. Noone else. If you think dating a married man will make you happy, or will satisfy some other need of yours (maybe you think that's the best you deserve?), then go ahead. You don't need anyone's permission, certainly not ours on an anonymous relationship advice site.

I will suggest that if this man has children you seriously consider walking away. Adults make their own choices in life. Children, however, depend on adults to provide them the best environment we can. It's sad that many adults aren't up to this responsibility.

I believe that all relationships are teaching and learning opportunities. Perhaps this is your opportunity to teach this man to respect himself and women, starting with you and the promise he made to his wife (and children, I'd guess). Say you don't date married men on principle. Wish him and his family well. I predict if you are the kind of person who can do this, you will find you will attract the kind of man you deserve very soon after.

Good luck.

[LivelaughloveAU]

Get out of there hun. I had a friend that fell in love with MM and then had an affair with him for years. He was never going to leave the wife. He was a nice guy, you would have never picked it. I am so glad he moved away for work as it was a horrible situation to watch in the end.
There are plenty of guys like this out there. Sounds like you are already a bit emotionally invested, please get out now.

[Wakeup]

I've met a married man through an online dating site. We chatted for about a month before he told me he was married and was actively looking to have an affair.

What? He didn't show that he was married in the "Relationship Status" section of his profile? You didn't tell him to go eff himself when he told you the truth? How sad you are.

Time to look within and through self-reflection discover why you would even give a man like him the time of day. Surely you think you diserve more then the crumbs he could ever offer you? So... whats up with you, kimberley. Teach yourself. Men like him who pre-meditately fish for women while married, will never learn.