opinions on love

[kskts6115]

My question is does real true love really exist and how do you know? I mean we all want to believe it's real and that we will all get our happily ever afters but how do you know when you have the real thing? And whose to say that even when you find it, it lasts forever? I've always been a romantic but right now I'm really doubting it because you just see all these divorces and people hurting one another and it's hard to believe that such a thing really exists. I hope it does but I just I'm not too sure anymore.. Feel free to post your opinion, and I'd really like to hear from an older crowd whose been married too.

[Rowen]

Didn't we discuss this already??

But true love does exist. As soon as you stop believing it's not out there, it's over because you've given up and made yourself closed off to any possibility to it... I think the newer generations believe it exists because of what they grow up with. Think about it; you have all these fairy tales and romance movies and all, and we're essentially surrounded by this from early on. Casablanca...An Affair to Remember...Cinderella... They all give the hype that there are these intense state of beings and that we'll live happily ever after. Way back when? I can't really say. But either way, don't give up that it's out there.

[Love'sReject]

If anything, most newer kids get disillusioned younger and younger. Look at the edgy new movies and music; it's all about love being an illusion or unrequited.

[Rowen]

If anything, most newer kids get disillusioned younger and younger. Look at the edgy new movies and music; it's all about love being an illusion or unrequited.

No doubt they do get disillusioned because they think outlandish things will happen to them and work out. But the general fact that there is a "happily ever after" makes them believe, in my opinion.

[Love'sReject]

Eh, I'd say the majority of the times end in death after a life of high levels of dissatisfaction. Kids come to realize the actual unlikeliness of finding those happily ever afters and get mired in depression for all their lives.

[Rowen]

Eh, I'd say the majority of the times end in death after a life of high levels of dissatisfaction. Kids come to realize the actual unlikeliness of finding those happily ever afters and get mired in depression for all their lives.

And I'm more convinced you're the male version of my friend Jasmine. lol

I don't know; I can see where you're coming from- "what about those that things don't work out for". To be honest, I've thought about that before and had a truly depressing thought about why that is...

When I thought of that, I considered how the universe is balanced. If you think about it, every positive has a negative, and every negative has a positive. Ying and yang, light and dark, hot and cold, matter and antimatter, etc etc... And I basically came to the thought what if it's the same with people...like some are meant to balance out the joy in the world by suffering and being alone all their lives... Pretty much suffering so the world can know true happiness. :S

[Love'sReject]

Yeah, I guess tsunamis, plagues and rape all have positives..Oh wait, they don't?


P.S. is this friend of yours hot?

P.S.S. if so, niiiiice.

[Rowen]

Yeah, I guess tsunamis, plagues and rape all have positives..Oh wait, they don't?


P.S. is this friend of yours hot?

P.S.S. if so, niiiiice.

lol She's beautiful- dark haired and brown eyed with glasses. She's about my height (5' 10").

And that's true about rapes, but for tsunamis, weather balances itself out all the time. Think about it; you have giant natural disasters like wild fires. But what happens after the wildfire? Life grows back. It clears out the area naturally so new plants grow. Sure, it takes time, but life takes place. The Earth has had natural disasters long before the human race has been around, remember. If it hadn't been for every tiny thing, nature wouldn't have been like it is now. Then you have plagues... They sweep across the lands, but again what happens? Life finds a way. Life evolves. Case in point, the common cold used to be an illness that killed victims in the past. But now we've evolved and so has the strain. Not to mention, we've gained valuable research through medicine. Yes, it's horrible that human lives have been lost, but think of how many have been saved in the long run...

You have me at rape, though...

[Love'sReject]

Interesting and reasonable naturalist take on those natural disasters but from a human perspective, I could hardly think there's any way to find positive in genocide, rape, disease..

[Rowen]

Interesting and reasonable naturalist take on those natural disasters but from a human perspective, I could hardly think there's any way to find positive in genocide, rape, disease..

Well, you can't win them all.... :S

[basilandthyme]

How do you define 'real true love'? (as opposed to regular garden variety love)

[michelle23]

It all depends on what your definition of true love is. Lots of people have unrealistic expectations from their partner and when those expectations are not met-it ends. If you think love is like a fairy tale like twilight-you will have all your illusions shattered but by bit.

I think when you find someone who is your equal emotionally, sexually and intellectually your onto something good and then you need trust and great communication for it to last. If you meet someone who matches these realistic expectations-neither of you should give up without a fight and as long as you don't take the easy way out or betray each other by lying or cheating-it can last a lifetime. You need a positive way of resolving conflict and working through issues together as a team. There is help there for people who's problems have become overwhelming such as couples counselling. You need to respect each other and treat each other the way you expect to be treated. Couples who can laugh together and who feel like best friends normally last much longer than couples who don't. And as long as your compatible lovers and there is give and take and compromise-it can work

[kskts6115]

I guess I think of true love as unselfish and always wanting whats best for the other person and just loving them no matter what they do or who they are. I really just don't know if that kind of love can really exist in a romantic relationship.. I think the only pure love one can have is between a parent and child because that honestly never fades. I just see so many older couples out there that aren't happy or are getting divorced, and as much as I want to believe that true love will happen to all of us I guess I'm just not sure anymore. I know life isn't perfect and it isn't a movie, but in today's world it seems like everyone is so selfish and they do what is best for them.. I know you can fall in love with someone but I'm just not so sure that it will ever be enough, because eventually one person will act selfishly and pull back or cheat or do something hurtful.

[dickriculous]

I've always been a romantic but right now I'm really doubting it because you just see all these divorces and people hurting one another and it's hard to believe that such a thing really exists.

I know it seems contradictory to expect "love" and "thinking logically" to go hand in hand but I'm going to ask you to do it anyway. A lot of people fail at their careers, does that mean career success doesn't exist? Should we give up on pursuing it? A lot of people fail at getting in shape. Does being in good shape not exist? Should we give up pursuing it? Should every aspiring elite athlete give up because of the number who fail? Many people fail at being good parents, so then does good parenthood not exist? Should we even bother trying to be good parents when we have kids? Should we even bother having kids?

The answers are all a resounding yes, these things certainly do exist and they certainly are attainable. Why would love be any different?

Of course relationships and love have a risk of failure. Guess what? So does EVERYTHING that's worth having.

A great way to ensure that you go nowhere in life and never get what you want is to refuse to participate in any pursuit where there is a risk of failure or a risk of being hurt because you are so afraid of the potential pain it could cause. If fear of failure or being hurt causes you to give up on the things you want in life whether it includes love, prosperity, or whatever else and you lock yourself away inside of a bubble in order to hide from the threat of failure and the threat of pain then you will eventually suffer the worst pain of all - the pain of knowing that you hid in a shell and watched life go by without ever breaking out of your comfort zone to live it, and the next thing you know your life is gone, and there you are in your final years with nothing worthwhile or memorable to look back on.

Don't confuse this for me advocating you to be a hopeless romantic or have like a teens mentality toward love but the bottom line is that if you want it you have to pursue it instead of dwelling on failure and if you fail, you pick yourself up and continue to pursue it some more. It's hard but that's life, it's something each and every one of us has to face.

[michelle23]

I guess I think of true love as unselfish and always wanting whats best for the other person and just loving them no matter what they do or who they are. I really just don't know if that kind of love can really exist in a romantic relationship.. I think the only pure love one can have is between a parent and child because that honestly never fades. I just see so many older couples out there that aren't happy or are getting divorced, and as much as I want to believe that true love will happen to all of us I guess I'm just not sure anymore. I know life isn't perfect and it isn't a movie, but in today's world it seems like everyone is so selfish and they do what is best for them.. I know you can fall in love with someone but I'm just not so sure that it will ever be enough, because eventually one person will act selfishly and pull back or cheat or do something hurtful.

A lot of people can be selfish yes-everyone has good and bad qualities. You just need to set your standards high and know which bad qualities you will put up with and which ones you wont. Anyone could betray you, lie to you, cheat on you. We cant control what other people do-you can only control what you do and you should treat your partner the way you expect to be treated and if he hurts you-you can walk away with your head held high and find someone else who hopefully wont