Chance to meet my ex, don't know how to go about it

[HoledUp]

I haven't had direct contact with my ex in over a month. We broke up almost 2 months ago and had a 2 year relationship. She broke it off and I thought we were doing well for the circumstances. She started working for the first time and was stressing out a lot and needed more alone time to watch drama and do whatever. I gave her time to have to herself and I was a bit lonely on certain days but I figured it was something we could deal with, as if this was one of the slower stages of our relationship.

So the breakup was a shock to me. She pulled out the "lets be friends" line and I've gone through a pretty bad time in the past with another girl who I did try to be friends with so I told her I couldn't and backed out completely. I deleted her off of Facebook and off of anything we had linked together.
I did try talking to her again a few days after the breakup but it was pointless as she always seemed distracted. She called me her best friend yet never really talked to me. I was sick of being a backup and didn't want to be friend zoned over time so I left.

Please keep in mind this was long distance and I made the effort to drive up and see her when I'm both at home and college every few weeks to be with her.

So that's the backstory: she broke off the relationship, I broke off contact

There's a convention coming up and found out she was also going. It's a 3 day event and not sure which days shell end up going to. I have to drive 4 hours to get there whereas she lives half an hour away at most. I feel like I can meet her and be okay hanging out as Friends but I'm worried shell avoid or ignore me if we meet though she told a mutual friend of ours that she wouldn't mind hanging out with us (friend is going with me).
We haven't seen each other in person since December so I do want to see her. I emailed her a week ago asking if she wanted lunch and made clear I had no intentions of going back together because I needed time to focus on myself Especially since I'm graduating from college soon, but I feel that lunch won't bring out much conversation. I wouldn't drive several hours just for lunch and then drive all the way back for nothing, I told her i could drop by on the drive home since she's not far off the road it wouldn't be a hassle.
Problem is she didn't reply at all and I'm 99% sure she read it.

Saying she's not worth it if she can't bother to reply won't be any helpful. I feel there's a reason why because she was the one who wanted to continue our friendship.
I feel I could give her more time to get over it but she jumped into a new relationship a few weeks after the breakup. I think it's a rebound but I can't say for sure. I feel if she's okay dating someone new, she should be okay with a chat. I'm going to assume rebound because she broke up with me saying distance is hurting us and the new guy literally lives in Canada and we live in the south. I am planning to graduate and move to a place near her anyway and she knows this

What confuses me is that now that I am okay with friendship she backs off from me. I figure she's either annoyed by me or is hurt. I don't know why she'd be so annoyed not to say anything if I haven't apple to her in over a month. I don't know why she'd be hurt because she's moved on with someone else. In the email I told her that leaving the way I did as abruptly as I did was necessary to stop myself from hurting. I apologized also.


I'm not sure what else to put for now.

The main thing I'm concerned with is should I contact her before the convention to see if she'd like to hang out together there or just meet her in person (if possible through the crowd) and act like I didn't really know and start from there. If I should contact her earlier, how many days in advance? What should I not bring up for a casual conversation?

Thank you

[michelle23]

I am confused.. Do you want her back? If not, why do you want to be friends?

[HoledUp]

Because I love her company. I miss her but i don't want a relationship right now. I do want friendship and maybe something down the line but I don't think I can go back to a relationship for awhile. I love her, but for now I want to go back to just being comfortable around her. I feel like I've forced us into being strangers because I left but i had to and I want to get rid of that gap.

[basilandthyme]

More than likely, she's reconsidered the friendship idea. While 'let's be friends' sounds nice, it rarely happens

[ashley89]

it ended for a reason, let the past be the past and just move on. people use the "let's be friends" line as a way to make the breakup seem easier, most times they don't actually mean it. realistically how could you be "friends" with someone you once shared a romantic relationship with? it rarely ever works. since she isn't answering your text I would take that as a sign that she isn't interested in talking to you.

[michelle23]

You cant string her along as a friend and say maybe one day. That is pointless and unfair to her. In these situations-its all or nothing. You cant stay friends with an ex so dont bother trying.