My married lover, I dont know what to do.

[Only-virgins]

Sounds like an asshole with too much money.

[michelle23]

This man does not love you or his wife. He is a narcissistic prick and you are a fool.

Hell put you up in a nice condo, buy you a porche, leave some money by the bed each time he comes over to get in between your legs.. You are no better than those high class escorts his friends hook up with.

I suggest you go home to your family and let them help you decide what you are going to do with your life and your baby. Focus on your career and go and get some therapy.

You should never go after a taken man-it is just wrong and karma is a bitch. I have no sympathy for you or women like you and you will just be replaced by someone else.

Men like him are like a cancer-he should be put down like the dog he is but his wife will stick around for her inheritance (that's probably what she married him for) or if shes smart she might divorce him, keep the house and take every penny he has and you will end up miserable and alone.

[bcgirl]

Why not tell your family about this situation and see what they have to say instead of strangers online? They may have more sympathy for a mistress. Just remember the clock is ticking and you don't have much time if you were to terminate the baby. If you are going to keep it, then make sure the wife knows and get child support outta him. It's a shame that you've come far with the education etc as an African American, but still end up being that stereotypical African American woman (single mom with no baby daddy)

[Nicki XoXo]

BC, your advice be okay in the beginning but you always throw me off being ridiculous. I may be a single mom in the end but I definately have a "baby daddy". Everyone does otherwise it would be some sort of medical miracle.

BTW, someone mentioned his race and he mixed. I dont see what that has to do with anything. Smh... Anyway, I did tell one of my sisters, the one I am very very close to and she was disappointed but she wasnt angry and she just said that I dont have to tell anyone my business and the details of my pregnancy is my business so that did make me feel a little better.

So I spoke with him, he came by this morning. The convo just didnt go well. Im an emotional wreck. He told me I wanted to go back home, that was my prerogative. He feels I did this on purpose. I told him I can go back home and work in the other office and he was said real sarcastically, sure you can. Or I could just stay here and know my definate future. Idk what the hell that is supposed to mean, he never did elaborate. He just said I should know how he feels about me. But either way he wouldnt just dismiss a child he had and if I decided to go back home then he would visit me whenever he came back to town.

I told him I seriously doubted that I would still continue my relationship with him and he really just lost it. He said if I chose not to do things his way then he would just have to do what he had to do because he needed to be in control of this situation. I asked him about his wife and he said why would I mention that, that was his issue and I dont ever need to get in the middle of that. That I was very irresponsible and if I tried to sabotage him he could always have "his child" just be a part of his family. I dont know if he was serious but I would never just hand my child over. Then I guess he felt bad after that because he tried to cover it up and said I needed to think about the best interest of the child.
The more I talk to him now, hes someone I dont know and Im just really afraid that he will try to ruin my life or something. Then he text me not too long ago and said he apologize that I made him come out of his character but if I needed to go home for a few weeks to sort things out that was fine and he would work on things here. He just dont like feel threatened and if I come after him, that wont be a good decision. He doesnt like to feel handled. I still dont trust him, he seemed real serious but Im just going to do what I got to do.

[michelle23]

He is threatening you-if you tell his wife he will **** you up. Get away from this man, bring your baby up alone-you don't need him. Go and sort your life out and never put yourself in this position again. He is married. Your letting him have his cake and eat it. Walk away now, block him from your phone, take whatever money you can and sort your life out. Leave without saying goodbye. If he turns up-tell him you want nothing from him and to go back to his family.

No father is better than this man who treats women like trophies. he doesn't have a heart, he doesn't love you and he will not love your child.

[HeartIsAching]

It's a shame that you've come far with the education etc as an African American, but still end up being that stereotypical African American woman (single mom with no baby daddy)

What was the point in this?

[bearz]

Wake up and open your eyes. He doesn't want anything to do with you unless you stay with him and continue to be his whatever you want to call it. There is no future with him whatsoever. He doesn't want you to interfere with his family, so the best thing you can do for yourself is stay away as far as you can. That should be a no-brainer. The only thing you need to figure out is whether you want to have that baby and keep dealing with him and all the legal bullshit that's coming your way, or terminate the pregnancy and move on, put an end to everything and leave it all behind.

[VincenzoG91]

Another concern is that this guy might ditch you anyway when you get older. Maybe he loses interest when you hit 30, or maybe sooner. Then he just finds a younger woman who is willing to trade her freedom for money.

[VincenzoG91]

Does your company have a Human Resources Department?

[Boisdevie]

He said if I chose not to do things his way then he would just have to do what he had to do because he needed to be in control of this situation.

Let me translate that one for everyone. Shut up and do as you're told or I'll stop paying for the condo, take away that nice shiny car and stop giving you money.
But then the OP is such a successful woman in her own right, intelligent yada yada that such threats mean nothing. She could so easily buy her own condo, car etc cos she's such a successful woman yada yada.

If that's an intelligent woman give me a stupid one any day.

[surfhb2]

Wow! I actually thought this thread was a trolling joke!

Nicki.....here's the deal: You need to stop talking to this man. Go home, have the kid and sort your life out. Don't try and get child support since that will complicate matters for the child IMO. You're possible of self support right? Yes? Yes? Then do it ! You're young too....tons of time to live a happy life with someone who respects and loves you

It will be hard....REALLY HARD but you need to flush this guy from you're life very soon!!

I personally don't see any other options

For you to just disappear and never return will be the ultimate FU to this guy....seriously! Someday you will realize what I just said. You see, his thing is CONTROL. Once you take that away from him he has nothing and I guarantee it will be a stain and self reflecting spot the rest of his days. Even those monthly child support payment will offer him justification and control of you !

DISAPPEAR without a trace girl....good luck and all the best!!!

[bcgirl]

If your sucha successful woman, why are you a prisoner to a married man? Why be his door mat for four years? And continue to be his door mat. Why accept condos and cars and trips from him? Pay for all that yourself. Same goes for your unborn child. He wants to be in control of this situation like he is in control of you. You've shut up for 4 years and he expects for you to shut up about this pregnancy too. Big surprise that his true colors show when sh!t hits the fan... You are very naive. You were in love with who you thought he was, the side he wanted to portray. Let this be a life lesson

[michelle23]

Any man who can do this to his wife and kids has serious problems and any woman willing to be the other woman has mental problems. You and he deserve each other really.

Im out of this thread, im not going to give advice to someone who clearly has no empathy for other peoples feelings and no integrity.

You wanted this man, you set out to get him and now you have to deal wit all the heartache and bs thats coming your way.

[Starnique]

Wow. These people are mad at you lololol. I got a good laugh. People take it so serious like its their husbands. Most married women do or men that wish they was in his position. IMO. Lolol. I also imagine that your voice sounds like Nicki Minaj, no offense lolol.

I also agree that you two deserve each other. Mainly because the way this entire rendezvous went down. He knew what he was doing when he was molding you into what you are today, you invited him to a room and he came with no hesistation. Im sure he's a serial cheater. A male whore. He didnt even think twice and Im sure the sex was addictive like an adrenaline rush, just being real. Sex with someone who doesnt belong to you is always a thrill. Lol. Then he moves you to where hes going. He had to care about you to some extent because if you was just a piece of ass to him he would have left you. It went on too long. Yall would probably be good together, two professional triflin people all about themselves? Mmmhmm. Also, he was running up in you raw then on vacation he running to your room, laying up with you then going back to her the entire time, and you was the perfect one to be down with that. Then he be spending on you, of course shes attached people, you got to think, Im sure he was doing the hell out of her, you are whipped, he has you right where he want you. Im a litte taken aback that his wife didnt know. But I bet my bottom dollar that his wife knows something. She has to. Im sure she knows hes a cheater and she being taken care of twice as good and dont care. And im sure she has plans of her own, that you cant top. Im not mad at ya, Im just saying.
You better ride that Porsche to the wheels fall off honey.Then you said he was the only person you was seeing. When was the last time yall slept together? Im sure it wasnt no more then a few days ago, if that, you all probably sexed this morning. Men love morning sex. My point is, you not serious about leaving and neither is he. I agree with another poster, he would pay me off to shut me the hell up. I wouldnt be intimidated by him at all.

[IndiReloaded]

What was the point in this?

bcgirl is asian. They are as racist as they come and hate 'black people'. f-ing coolie, lol. j/k