Why not be smart?

[xotrue]

I think it was his way of saying 'I love you and I can't be without you - regardless of what happens between us/how bad fights are.'

[xotrue]

smackie9 got it right with us guys not being mindreaders.
He's saying he is an idiot, because he doesn't know what you want from him,
instead of making him guess, just be honest, and work out the problems.

You do not need to raise your voice, just explain what
needs to be fixed in a proper conversation.

Tell him what he is doing right, and what needs to
improve, so he knows what to focus on.

It is better for him to hear the truth, then learn try to figure out
what your upset about and you blaming him for everything.

He knows exactly what I want, because I make it known. I will talk to him tonight and maybe we can get to the bottom of things.

[bearz]

I try very hard. I really do. This all started from a comment that I made. He has been very depressed, because his mother died. I noticed that he was gaining weight and I told him - I think maybe the way I said it offended him. Although, I did not mean it as a 'put down' - they way I said it may have sounded like one now that I think about it. Since then, he has lost the weight and looks great, but I notice he tries to put me down every chance he gets.

I was gaining a lot of weight over the last couple of years and I was aware of it. Had someone I love mentioned it to me I wouldn't have been offended (I lost all that weight again). Guys usually aren't that sensitive about that. Maybe he was already ticked off a little bit before and you saying he's gaining weight just pushed him over the edge? But all of that is still no excuse to put you down whenever he can. Have you told him to stop? And no, don't just say "stop it". Actually sit down with him and tell him calmly how you feel about it.

[michelle23]

I try very hard. I really do. This all started from a comment that I made. He has been very depressed, because his mother died. I noticed that he was gaining weight and I told him - I think maybe the way I said it offended him. Although, I did not mean it as a 'put down' - they way I said it may have sounded like one now that I think about it. Since then, he has lost the weight and looks great, but I notice he tries to put me down every chance he gets.

Grief is a horrible thing and it really messes with your head. I have been there. If hes nasty to you-its probably not him-its the grief. Just try to support him-be his rock while he gets through it. Stay positive-it will get better in time

[michelle23]

ps: It could be two years before he starts to feel normal again. Look up the stages of grief.

[smackie9]

He knows exactly what I want, because I make it known. I will talk to him tonight and maybe we can get to the bottom of things.

and there you have it. Just have a straight forward talk about things. If he does say bad things, ask him why he has a need to. hash this out and then determine if this relationship has pasted it's expiry date.

[xotrue]

Also, he expects me to act like a wife. Clean his apartment, wash his clothes, get breakfast for him in the morning - he gets upset when I do not do these things. I tell him constantly that it is not my responsibility to do his chores. He works 15 hours days. Today, he asked for me to send him a sexy video. I sent a video. Then he calls and says "I've been working all day and that is what you send me?" Prior to sending the video, I asked what he wanted. He didn't tell me. Such stupid things that are always blown into something big and ridiculous. Always, I am blamed for everything. He never takes responsibility for his actions - when I call him out about this, he responds back saying "What have I done. Name something that I've done wrong." I feel as though, I shouldn't have to list everything out and as a man he knows exactly what it is that he does wrong and should own up. What is wrong with this?

[Only-virgins]

"I'm an idiot when it comes to you." Why be an idiot? Why not be smart when it comes to me?

This statement makes no logical sense what-so-ever.

[xotrue]

Makes no sense to me either.

[Only-virgins]

Maybe you are dating a retard? Have you contemplated that very possibility?

[xotrue]

I've thought about that. But, I think he has plenty of sense. He graduated from an ivy.

[basilandthyme]

Also, he expects me to act like a wife. Clean his apartment, wash his clothes, get breakfast for him in the morning - he gets upset when I do not do these things. I tell him constantly that it is not my responsibility to do his chores. He works 15 hours days. Today, he asked for me to send him a sexy video. I sent a video. Then he calls and says "I've been working all day and that is what you send me?" Prior to sending the video, I asked what he wanted. He didn't tell me. Such stupid things that are always blown into something big and ridiculous. Always, I am blamed for everything. He never takes responsibility for his actions - when I call him out about this, he responds back saying "What have I done. Name something that I've done wrong." I feel as though, I shouldn't have to list everything out and as a man he knows exactly what it is that he does wrong and should own up. What is wrong with this?

You're dating a dick. Why on earth do you stay with him?

[Only-virgins]

You're dating a dick. Why on earth do you stay with him?

because he graduated from an ivy. Though I'm not sure how one graduates from a plant.

[basilandthyme]

because he graduated from an ivy. Though I'm not sure how one graduates from a plant.

One graduates from a plant with loads of manure.

[Only-virgins]

One graduates from a plant with loads of manure.

Would make sense.