ex girlfriend pulled the "I need time" card?

[Wakeup]

I have to "suffer" and deal with girls with similar pasts? The way things were then were the way they were,

Can you explain why you feel you'd have to "suffer?" You say you've changed. Why do you not think that a woman could change too.

With that quote, you're basically whining that you shouldn't have to deal with a ball freak even though you yourself were one. You're wanting chaste girls to not judge you while you judge unchaste girls.

I'll add that just because you didn't jump into bed immediately after a break-up (like your ex did) it doesn't make you a saint and her a whore.

At this point who cares. You want a chaste girl then get one who care more about how you are now and how you treat her instead how you were when you were fking girls just like you.

[spiritofjosh]

And by the way, I've had one one-night-stands in my life. Every other girl that I've slept with were girls I took out on dates, and got to know them enough where it could have turned into a relationship. I never used a girl to sleep with them. Never manipulated a girl to sleep with me and never lied to them with promises of being my girlfriend. For the real reason it always went sour is because the girl wanted to sleep with me, and when my self respect was at it's lowest I would sleep with them. Never did it just happen once then I'd drop them. It would go on as "dating" for a couple months until they started to I guess show who they really were and it always turned out to be somebody I couldn't see myself with, but it seemed different the first month after we would first sleep together. For example, one girl turned out to be sleeping with her ex while we were also sleeping together...I said enough of that and left. I always reach the part of casual dating where I'm not speaking or hooking up with others and are only dating that one specific girl but I just always ended up with something short-term because I didn't feel comfortable or like it was heading in a right direction. And after that ended, I didn't move on to another girl right away either. I kept to myself, so I don't have such a horrid, monstrous past as it may seem.

By the way, I am nowhere near the 30-40 woman mark like the man you mentioned in an earlier post.

[spiritofjosh]

"suffer" metaphorically. Meaning be stuck with a girlfriend who is or was a whore. If I meet a girl I like and she was a whore before we met but isn't now, than that's the way it is, I would accept that. I just personally have an easier time trusting many more things with a "chaste" woman than one who may have been a whore at one point. JUST like any woman should feel about me, I know I'm no saint nor would I ever come off acting like I was one.

[Wakeup]

Then as I said, find a chaste girl who is secure enough in herself and how you treat her now in t that she won't hold your past against you. This girl you're on about is NOT that girl. You might have a better chance if you find a chaste girl if you don't treat her indifferently or lie to her. Ya know?

The reason a lot of women will act like your current ex is because they add up your past, plus the lie, plus the indifference you may show them and it totals "get lost."

You're young. I think you've learned a lesson or two with this relationship so it's not a total loss... It's likely she wouldn't be your last ex even if you were perfect to her. NEXT!

[michelle23]

I don't think you should suffer either for your past. You don't sound like a typical player (the type id avoid)- you sound like you were searching for commitment but couldn't find someone good enough to commit to. That is fair enough.

As for not trusting women for there past-you probably have a point but it doesn't necessarily boil down to their past-its usually there self esteem. Make sure shes confident and you can probably trust her. If she loves attention from men and it strokes her ego-shes bad news. Same goes for men who seek attention from OW.

All you can do is treat a girl right, look after her, respect her, don't ever cheat on her and I'm sure shell love you for who you are.

[Wakeup]

.. He does? .. He screwed many women while not being in a relationship (according to him) That doesn't sound anything like a guy who was looking for something serious to me. Sport fking!

.. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with his promiscuity as long as he's not judging the girls who, like him just liked to boink for the sake of boinking and he wasn't disingenuous with them by leading them to think he wanted more than what he did.

[michelle23]

.. He does? ..

He said hes never set out to use someone for sex... hes never lied, manipulated etc.

[Wakeup]

He said hes never set out to use someone for sex... hes never lied, manipulated etc.

That doesn't mean he was looking for a relationship while he was sport fkg, michelle. I was addressing your comment wherein you said "you sound like you were searching for commitment but couldn't find someone good enough to commit to. That is fair enough."

As far as your "using for sex" comment. You should understand by now that if girls are willingiy screwing him before they know where they stand, then they are NOT BEING USED. The are volunteering.

[michelle23]

He said he was dating those girls-it didnt work out for reasons beyond his control lol-that sounds like he was looking for a gf to me. I could have read it wrong. Well see what he says when he comes back about it..

I don't care how people dress it up. Its using. AND we already know that lots of insecure women use their body to try and catch a man. Its like a spider trying to catch a fly. Some stupid women even mistake sex for love and are upset each time they watch countless men run away because they are too easy..

I had this discussion here before with a few men and they agreed with my point of view on this. Some men do use lots of women for sex and lots of these women are looking for more than just sex only to get burned time and time again.

[michelle23]

But I'm not saying that these women are angels or victims. I think they are idiots lol.

And I know there are lots of women whose sole mission in life is to see how many men they can seduce but those women have issues. There are men like that too. I call them narcissistic.

[Wakeup]

He said he was dating those girls-it didnt work out for reasons beyond his control lol-that sounds like he was looking for a gf to me.

Well I don't see the humour e.g. "lol" but anyway.. Check out post No. 1.(I think it was No. 1) where he says she was upset because he screwed lots of women while not in a relationship with them.

[michelle23]

The lol was aimed at you and me disagreeing as usual -not at him

Okay I see your point. I've forgotten the original-this is so long. Well it sounds like you know what you want now Josh and you have more self respect and respect for women which can only be a good thing. Onward and upward

[Wakeup]

she has a few trust issues concerning me. one is my history with how many girls I've slept with plus the lack of them I was actually dating.

Actually it was post No. 9.

This isn't about differring opinions.. Its about you voicing your opinion on the wrong facts, acctually...

On edit. Oh, I see where you now see what I'm saying. I missed that as i was posting at the same time.

[michelle23]

Point taken. I was going by what he said in his last post ^^^ - not what he said on page one lol.

Well it sounds like he has grown up a lot and its proven that people can change if given a chance

[Wakeup]

It wasn't page one it was page nine. lmao.

As for your second sentence, I'm thinking he's learned something about himself, but somehow I'm also thinking he'll be back to his old ways of exercising his options sans being in a relationship while he "gets over" his ex. Just a guess.