Really need advice on this situation? Thank you so much :(

[thelizardking17]

Hi there,

I'm 17 and I joined this forum because I just don't know what to do anymore. I have a boyfriend, he's 19, and is the most amazing and wonderful person I have ever met in my entire life. I would be lost without him, so breaking up with him is completely out of the question because that will never, ever happen.
The problem is me. I will admit that I am a little self-absorbed and therefore, I want to be his only commitment and I expect to be put first, over everything else. He has told me over and over again that he isn't religious at all: he never goes to church, rarely ever reads the Bible, and doesn't pray too often. He is Catholic, just like I am. He has just about the same religious beliefs as I do...he doesn't believe in having a "relationship" with God, or loving God, or worship, or anything like that.
Why does my mind keep telling me that he is religious, therefore urging me to ask more and more questions about his beliefs, despite the fact that I KNOW he isn't and that I am his only commitment and his highest and only priority?

He is really getting annoyed with all of my incessant questions, but I don't know, it's like I can't help myself. He tells me his religious perspective, and I agree with it wholeheartedly, and I feel soooo uplifted for the time-being, but then like a day later more questions and doubts creep into my mind and I just don't know how to get it to stop.

If any of you think there's anything wrong with me, like mentally, don't be afraid to say it because I know I'm kinda crazy and I'm not afraid of it. I'm not asking for a diagnosis or anything, just for someone to lead me in the right direction or just something, because I don't know who to talk to. My mom and dad wouldn't understand, they'd just think I'm out of my mind and I'd get nowhere.

How can I just finally wrap my mind around all of this and just feel secure in the fact that he isn't religious, even though another part of my mind (or so it seems) keeps telling me he is? Any tips?
He hates religion...does he sound religious to you at all?

I don't know, it just kind of seems to me, that the act of going to read the Bible takes you from one extreme to another. Even if it's like for 20 minutes, once a year (which is what he says he does). Not reading it, you're not religious, but by just reading it, it automatically takes you to the other extreme of being religious, don't you think? Or is it just my mind?

He doesn't believe that the Bible is infallible or anything. He thinks that it has its flaws and he only agrees with parts of it. He ignores the rest (which is most of it).

I really need help because I'm sick of suffering with these annoying, ridiculous thoughts every day. They are NOT me. I NEVER used to care about this. Last summer, he would occasionally tell me that he was going to church with his mom, and I didn't even think twice about it. It didn't bother me. I just didn't even think about it. But now, since about Mid-November maybe, it has been bothering me a LOT. And he says that it's all in my mind, that I'm fighting a battle I've already won: my being his only commitment and his top priority.

How can I just let go of this once and for all, and go back to being normal like I used to be? Anyone? Thank you sooo much, please try to not judge me Thank you again,

Brooke

[bearz]

It sounds like religion plays a huge part in your life and there is nothing wrong with that. I am Catholic myself and used to got to church multiple times a week (I was an altar server or whatever you call it these days). Here's a question you need to ask yourself: Would you be with someone if he believed in a different religion? How about someone who is not religious at all?

What religious questions are you asking him? Are they somehow related to your life and relationship or do you want to talk about the bible and other things that he can't relate to?

The chances of you being able to change him when it comes to his religious beliefs are pretty slim so you should come to terms with yourself that it's not going to happen.

[thelizardking17]

Of course I'd be with him if he was of a different religion. I might actually like it better, lol, because I don't really like Christianity so much. I'd definitely be with someone who isn't religious at all. But my heart is reserved for him. I just need to wrap my mind around the whole thing.
I am not a religious person at all, and I just want him to be the same way, although he has told me plenty of times, more than like 500, that he is not religious. But my mind keeps thinking that he is, which is sooo annoying .

What should I do?! He can't stand my questions anymore and I hate to put him into a bad mood but I keep asking him questions about his beliefs.

[bearz]

Oops, I misinterpreted your post then. Sounded like he wasn't religious enough for you. But it looks like it's the complete opposite. Well that changes everything of course.

What questions are you asking him? What do you think is it that bugs you about religion in his case? Are you afraid that he might do something because of his religion? Are you scared that he might leave you because you are not religious?

[pcmaster]

You are 17 so why do you think about god at all. Just talk about other things. Have fun. Maybe he is not paying enought attention to you or your body so you feel insecure and needy.

Im sure if you will meet diferent interesting people, do diferent fun things, new hobies then you will think diferent things. Its healthy.

Most people are stuck on something that they think of all the time. Its normal so do not worry about that.

[michelle23]

Why does it matter if he has religious beliefs or not. You sound quite obsessive, insecure and clingly. He is allowed to have other priorities such as family, work, close friends and if he wants to go to church that is his choice and you have to respect that.

Try not to smother him too much. Have a life of your own away from him sometimes-that is normal and healthy.

If you have anxiety, ocd etc-go see a counsellor

[smackie9]

You just keep hoping he will become this ideal BF because you are infactuated. And when you are infactuated you refuse to listen, because you are dead set that this person has to be the one and should be the way you want him to be. You are a niave lttle girl. You can't make him into whatyou wish him to be. The reality is, he isn't religious and he isn't going to be religious for you. You have to either accept for who he is, or find someone who is has the same views as you. That my dear is the way life is and you can't change it.