Boyfriend broke up with me this is his reason

[Katrina26]

Boyfriend broke up with me no valid excuse
My boyfriend of 2 months just dumped me 4 days ago. Let me start off by saying that heis 21 and im 20 first relationship for me and first serious gf for him. We spent holidays together and he used to treat me like a princess took me on nice dates cooked for me respected me, and everything i can ask for. I didnt ask to get an i love you yet because i dont think it was enough time for him to fall in love because he had past relationships which didnt workout however i do love him. Last saturday we had a nice date and we were already planning for our valentines date he already had my gift and i had his. 4 days out of the blue moon he says that we should stop seeing each other because we have nothing i common and because he didnt fall in love with me note that he treated me like he did. He said that he doesn't want to hurt me more in the future and that he might end up cheating on me since he doesn't love me. The only thing that called my attention was that during the last 2 weeks he stopped texting me frequently and didnt seem he wanted to hang out with me but when we did he treated me like he always did. What could have happen? He says its not my fault and that i was the best gf he ever had? On the same hand, one of our common friends told me he is sad so i dont get this? Helppp

[Rowen]

Good Lord.. WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE!

He honestly said that he'd end up cheating on you because he didn't love you? Wow, he sounds like a winner... You see, my dear, in life, there are men and there are boys... MEN know how to treat a woman right- this entails not cheating on them, not telling them lies, and not leading them on. BOYS do NOT know how to treat a woman and will lie and cheat and lead you on. The guy who dumped you is a boy. Find yourself a MAN once you've healed from this. I know it hurts, but think about how much better off you are without him. Now, you don't have to talk to someone who thinks about cheating on you. Now, you don't have to EAT in front of someone who doesn't respect you (And don't tell me he respects you because if he told you he would have cheated on you, that right there shows how much he DOESN'T respect you.) so you won't vomit when you eat. Now, you're free to talk to other guys who WILL treat you so much better than this loser ever could. You have the opportunity to upgrade- find a guy who doesn't play mind games. USE IT!

Give yourself some time to heal after cutting him out of your life. Move forward, and in time, you'll find a guy who will spend time with you and MEAN what he says when he tells you about how much he cares about you. So many guys out there are friendzoned for stupid reasons; talk to some of them. You never know what may happen. But the main thing you need to remember is that you're BETTER OFF without him. Do you really want to be led on and lied to? Do you want someone who would "cheat on you eventually"? My guess is not. You deserve better than this, and if he can't see the awesome personality traits you have to offer, there's a MAN out there who will appreciate them. Forget him. He's not good enough fro you.

[michelle23]

Great advice rowen. I was going to reply to this earlier but couldnt think of a nice way of telling her she had a lucky escape

[kskts6115]

It may seem like there's no valid excuse to you but I'm sure for him he has a reason that maybe he's not being completely honest with you about. What you have to concentrate on is the fact he said he doesn't love you and that he would cheat on you, those two things are ridiculously hurtful and you shouldn't want someone like that in your life. I know it's hard because you love him but sometimes you fall in love with the wrong people. You have to realize that he was wrong for you and move on. Don't torture yourself over why he said those things but at least respect the fact that he blantantly said he doesn't want to be with you and realize you deserve so much more than that. I actually went through a pretty similar situation where my boyfriend said he could never love me about a month ago and I know it hurts like crazy. But anyone who says that to you is not worth your tears or your thoughts. I'm sorry you have to go through this but it's better to end it earlier than later. Keep your head up you'll get through it!

[TikiStyles]

I'm sorry to say it, but it sounds like he might have already met someone else. He may not have cheated on you, but the way you describe things leading up to the breakup it sounds like his mind was elsewhere. I know its hard, but maybe he did you a favor in the end by ending it now rather then years down the road. In the end its his loss. He lost someone that truely cared about him and that is a hard thing to find.

[Katrina26]

I'm sorry to say it, but it sounds like he might have already met someone else. He may not have cheated on you, but the way you describe things leading up to the breakup it sounds like his mind was elsewhere. I know its hard, but maybe he did you a favor in the end by ending it now rather then years down the road. In the end its his loss. He lost someone that truely cared about him and that is a hard thing to find.

He even said the same things you are saying Is better now than down the road. What bothers me is the fact that while all this happened he was treating me like he loved me but I guess it wasn't true. I feel like am healing well I saw him last Friday at work and I thought I was going to break down but I didn't. The only words he had were. I didn't mean to hurt you and it was better now.

[bearz]

I'm really sorry that you have to go through this. There are plenty of possible reasons for why he did what he did. There could have been someone else. He might have been in over his head since you were his first serious girlfriend. Maybe he got scared of the commitment. There don't seem to be any bad feelings towards each other so whatever his reason(s) might have been for breaking up with you, it could be a lot worse for you.

[pcmaster]

Actually it sounds familiar and I might know what hes feeling now. Its like you met a girl of your dreams and everything goes well like a dream. Until you afraid of losing her - thats when nightmare begins. You think that you are not good enought and shes might leave you once it gets serious. Thats why you wana leave before feelings get even stronger, cause later there will be no way back. You know you will not be able to live without her. All you wana do is to make her happy but you hurt her few times and dont wana hurt her even more - another stupid reason to break up.

Even if a guy 100% knows that you are the one and all he will ever need, he might not know that he is the right one for you.

It sounds to me that he just started to feel how special you are, overated you and lost his confidence cause he dont feel so special about himself.

And hes sad because hes without you. And for sure hes not honest with you, otherwise he wouldnt be sad.

And yes hes not a real man yet- you are his first girlfriend so his lack of selfesteem and stupid mistakes hes making right now makes sense.

Dont give up so easy it looks like you just dont understand eachother. Hes not sure about himself that why you are even more unsure about you.

Very common situation when two people feel like they do not deserve eachother and forget that its all about making eachother happy despite your insecurities cause other person likes you just the way you are.

[mylov]

Katrina26.. Let him go!! If he is meant to be then he will come back around. You are still young and you have a whole life in front of you. When you get older you may even realize that maybe he isn't the type of guy that you want. Your preferences and what you look for in a guy changes as you mature and get older. I speak from experience and a lot of other women in this forum might agree with me. Take this as a learning experience and continue with your goals in life. Like Kelly Clarkson's song says "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". And PLEASE do me a big favor and don't show him that you are hurt.

[vashti]

This is going to sound brutal, but after only 2 months, he didn't really need a "valid excuse"; he just wasn't feeling it for you. This was a very short-term relationship, and that is what happens with MOST people you will date. One doesn't marry every single guy who comes along, do they? No, they just break up.

Just consider this break-up a step towards the guy who will love you.

[elizabethdennis]

He has the most lame "it's not you ,it's me!" excuse. I tell you this guy is not worth your time, effort, and emotions. I agree with Rowen. date a "MAN" not a "Boy". Boys will juts waist your energy and scar your young heart.

[VincenzoG91]

I agree with Vashti, this was no big deal. I can't even remember how many times I went out with a woman just a few times before one of us decided it wasn't going to work. Two months is just enough time to get to know each other a bit and start noticing potential dealbreakers. Also, a 21 year-old guy is probably going to be out at the clubs a lot with his friends, and meeting women all the time. It's not a time when a guy is likely to settle down and get serious. Let him go and get on with your own life.